(no subject)
January 7, 2007
I have specificially not told people about the meds before because I’ve been worried about a reaction. But this site is quite different. And really, if I’m going to progress, I need to be honest with myself.
I’ve been extremely consistent with exercise over the last week (thank you Motivation to Move!) and am very pleased. After tabulating my calories for yesterday, I was quite shocked. I ate just over 2000 calories. My “prescribed goal” of calories is 1350 - 1750 given my activity level. I had to remind myself that the REASON I went to the gym was so that I could go over on my calories. But really, I was dismayed that I *treated* myself to just over 600 calories of rice. Rice is not THAT important. 600 calories!??? Ouch. Anyway, except for the chocolate soy ice cream, it was all quite healthy food. I need to keep reminding myself of that! And I RARELY go over calories, so it’s okay. It’s hard to get that through my head though.
Well, I’m still in bed, deciding what I want to do today. I’ve spent an hour or so on the internet replying, posting, and reading. What I’d really like to get motivated to do is go to a rec centre and go swimming. Well, I don’t actually swim. I mainly sit in the hot tub and sauna. I read the book “Ultra Metabolism” a few months ago, and it really helped me out of a plateau. While it seems as though I’m always trying to get out of a plateau, I have lost weight consistently since April. Already this year I have lost about 3.5 pounds. I’m getting off topic now. Sauna. Apparently you can sweat out toxins, and that’s good for you. Apparently your metabolism and your body works best at burning fat when it’s not trying to keep you healthy in other areas. I’m not interested in doing a real cleanse of any sort, because I’m not big on playing around with my calories. The liquid cleanse for a day or two that Scott mentioned sounded rather interesting though. I might give that a try on my next plateau. But at the moment, I’m doing really really well.
One of my life issues is that I get very very bored. At work, I can’t sit still. I literally do WORK for 8 hours a day. One of my favorite things to do is to be so “overwhelmed” with work, that I take a five minute lunch, and get right back to working. Some people sit in the lunch room, and basically stare at each other for a whole hour. I can’t do that. Why waste an entire hour? I heard a quote recently that went something like this: “Work very hard at your job for 8 hours a day, so that one day you can be the manager and work 12 hours a day.” I found that inspiring to put my work away at the end of the day. My goal is to do a good job at whatever I’m doing. This carries over in other areas of my life. I read until the exact moment that I’m falling asleep and can’t even reach up to turn off the lamp. When I walk - even to the bus - I put on either music or a podcast. This includes the treadmill. Some people workout without headphones. How do they do this? When I “relax”, it must be to some form of spoken meditation. If I really have nothing to do, I’ll play a computer game. And this brings me to the thought of: Why can’t I be alone with myself? What am I worried that I will think about, if I let a stray thought in? A long time ago, I read something about how people always have to have background noise. The TV needs to be on in the other room during dinner for some people. The radio has to be on in the car. Being around someone must always be filled with conversation. I remember this, but I don’t remember the solution or the explanation.
Last night, my boyfriend and I put the MTM episode 75 on our respective music players, and walked home from a friend’s house. It was a half hour walk, so the timing was perfect. It was nice to know that as I was hearing something funny that was being said, so was he. We did pause it from time to time so I could explain something to him (ie, “this is the guy I was telling you about whose friend said it was unlikely that he’d get in shape for the trip they are planning!") but in general it was quiet. Except, of course, for the podcast. I haven’t listened to the afterburner yet, and really want to. But I’m still in bed, and my headphones are on the kitchen counter. How lazy am I!???
Anyway, I’m glad to get this out. I used to be an avid journalist… I have daily diaries going back to grade one or so… (Which were really silly, I might add.) When my mom died, I didn’t want to remember too much, so have kept it down to an update every few weeks or so. This much consistency makes me feel fuzzy.
Meredith
January 5, 2007
Well, I figured that since I’ve been neglecting the other couple of sites I go to, I might as well have some form of journal over here. Let me start by saying that friends often call me “Mer” (pronounced Mare)… Mer in French is a pretty common word, meaning sea. (Sea food, ocean, etc.) Anyway, Jour d’Mer is the day of Mer, or the day of Sea. I don’t know. I’m just feeling wacky, and wanted to write something other than “Meredith’s Journal.” Jour d’Mer sounded much better.
So far 2007 is going pretty darn great. I had made a few resolutions, and I’m still excited about them. Yes, I do realize it’s only the 5th of January… But things are looking up in general. During the past few months, I have become increasingly depressed. I don’t know how others specifically feel about medication, but after my mom died rather suddenly almost 2 years ago, I went on some. About a month ago, I had it changed because I was feeling like I just couldn’t cope. I had a happy person somewhere inside of me, and it was hurting me even more to realize that. However, when I’d get home from work, I could do little but sit on the edge of my bed and cry. I WANTED to do more… I just felt so desparate and sad. I can’t really explain it. Things were bad. Real bad. But I’m bouncing back now, and am really glad for it. For once in my life things seem to be going pretty well. (knock on wood?)
One of my New Year’s Resolutions was to become a more positive person. That’s pretty vague, I know. But any progress in the direction of ‘more positive’ is certainly welcome in my life. I’ve also resolved to get right to the root of my emotional/mental problems. I’m planning to start seeing a psychologist again, and will stick with it. I also bought a book called “Your Depression Map” and have found it to be pretty helpful in finding out some of my triggers to being sad, overwhelmed, anxious, and so forth.
Another is a bit more weight loss. I lost 51 pounds in 2006 (gained one back over Christmas! so I ended the year at a 50 pound loss overall) and wouldn’t mind seeing another 15-30 pounds gone this year. However, now that my eating habits are better, and I actually LIKE exercise, I don’t think that I’ll have too much of a problem doing that. My self-esteem is pretty high after losing all that weight, that I’m pretty happy where I am right now. I’ve never been this light, except on the way up. And it was only this weight briefly!
So, I’ve found a few things that I can work on, and am hoping to get plans in action on how to succeed with them. Scott Smith’s story of his journey with his wife over the last half year has really made me look deep into my own loss. I am not sure if I hadn’t properly dealt with it or not. I’m not sure what really IS at the root of the depression. But I am determined to find out. And I think that’s a pretty big step.
Well, this is all for now!
(enter clever and witty phrase here)
Meredith
January 5, 2007
Day 5...
I'm not sure how I feel about rest days. Let me tell you all what I've been doing in general. Unless I know I'm going to be particularly lazy (and not go to the gym, or do any major sort of exercise) I work with weights either legs/butt on one day, abs the next, and arms the next day. I vary cardio incredibly, because I get bored fast. I alternate between the stair master, the elliptical, treadmill (including majorly random intervals, occasionally hills, fast/slow, whatever!) the bike (both in the gym, and outside) as well as general yard work and dog walking. While I will inevitably have a rest day, which is usually on a severely rainy day watching movies non-stop, I just don't think I need to plan them.
Anyway, yesterday was heavy on the legs, and today I went heavy on the arms at home, with my heaviest dumbbells. For cardio, I just did the normal skip-the-bus thing, as well as had a mild walk at lunch.
I really am feeling good about this challenge, and am glad that everyone is around here to help me out. I'm definitely learning a lot, and making some friends! So, thanks!
Meredith
Jan 4, 2007
Day 4!
Today was a gym day. I did 20 minutes on the elliptical, did my weight training (twice) and then another 20 on the elliptical.
After all that, I missed my bus, and walked all the way home again. Twice in one week! Look at me go ;)
To top ALL that off, at lunch, Niilo and I (that's the boyfriend) walked around a bit at lunch. Nothing strenuous, but I burned calories none the less.
I AM A MACHINE!!!
1/4/2007
100 Days of Exercise
So, to recap (I did introduce myself in another area) I’m 26 years old. I lost 50 pounds in 2006, and am going for another 15-30 pounds in 2007. I’m a vegan animal rights activist, and I have a vegetarian rottweiler.
I have a gym membership, and fortunately that gym is pretty much right next to my work place. I prefer to exercise after work, because I’m pretty lazy in the morning. Luckily, I don’t have any troubles sleeping at night, as I’ve heard some have with evening work-outs.
Well, this is all. Today I’ve already done a full set of various upper body dumbbell exercises here at home. For me, that definitely counts as a successful day 1!
Anyway, I’m not sure what we’re supposed to write, but because of starting this, I did some extra crunches and what not. I’m pretty excited about this upcoming year. My boyfriend is not pro-New-Years-Resolutions, and I can understand that. He feels that you should make changes as soon as you notice something, instead of waiting for a specific time. I haven’t WAITED for a specific time… I’m just using this time as kicking myself into a HIGHER gear.
Having said that, I’m going to continue reading up on my three favorite motivation-ish websites.
---
Ack! I just typed up a bunch, and hit “post reply” and it deleted everything! It’s my fault. I was fast-replying. Now I know better. Anyway, to recap:
Day 2 (yesterday) I skipped the extra bus on the way to work, and walked ALL the way home from work (about 5km?)… I stayed really late at work, and knew I didn’t have time to go to the gym if I wanted to get some other things done in the evening. So, I felt pretty good about walking home.
Day 3 (today) I skipped the extra bus TO work, as well as FROM work. (I take two buses to get to work, and two buses to get home from work.) I got in about an extra 30 minutes of walking from that.
The big highlight of mine today was finally signing up to be a premium MTM member. I am utterly amazed at how much stuff is in those archives! I’m totally excited, and am going to take a bunch of the episodes with me to the gym tomorrow. Mainly, I’m excited about the Daily Boost. Having something every day (well, week day) as part of my routine is a big deal. I work in accounting, and fit the persona pretty good.
Enough for now. There have been a ton of replies all over the board, and I have to go read them! I caught a funny snippet about how Scott was working up a sweat storm on the treadmill, but they he added off-hand that he always wipes the machine down. I’m thinking of showing that to a co-worker of mine who isn’t much of a machine-wiper. It’s weird.
Meredith
December 9, 2006
I didn't realize it had been so long since I updated this journal.
The Christmas party went really well. I looked great, and I felt relatively great. I felt like I fit in, which was a nice change. And there were people that were heavier than me, so I didn't feel out of place in that respect.
Work has been quite a bit better. I got time off to get my hair done, and had a half day off yesterday. We're getting a new girl on Monday, and I'm excited about that. Hopefully this one will care about details! (And not think that peanut butter M&Ms are breakfast, or go to the candy cabinet when you're hungry!)
I've been a lot more diligent in drinking water... I am surprised at how often I fall off the water bandwagon. Why can't there be good points for the coffee bandwagon?
Christmas is coming, and I did a card-making class. I was really shocked at how fabulous the cards I made turned out. I had no idea that I was capable of such things!
As for my general stress level... I think I'm able to control it a bit better. I am feeling a bit frustrated about things I know I *should* be doing, but really don't want to do. At least I know what is going on now, and hopefully will have the backbone to do what is necessary.
Anyway, more another time!
Don't give up - Give MORE!
12/9/2006
Don't give up - Give MORE!
After thinking about "don't give up" I think that probably IS my secret. I've been through the weeks (months!) where there has been no weight loss... But now I don't get down hearted about it. The weight WILL come off, but only if I stick with it. Plateaus can't last forever.
If you do stop losing weight, drink more water, get more excersize, do different excersize, get a massage, etc etc... Try new things. And weight will either start coming quickly off, or it will take awhile. But if you eat better and excersize more, the weight CAN NOT STAY FOREVER!
11/27/2006
Sad, sad,
Today is the worst day in a long time. I'm sure there are causes and reasons... but it doesn't change the fact that today is really really horrible. I'm very depressed.
I have specificially not told people about the meds before because I’ve been worried about a reaction. But this site is quite different. And really, if I’m going to progress, I need to be honest with myself.
I’ve been extremely consistent with exercise over the last week (thank you Motivation to Move!) and am very pleased. After tabulating my calories for yesterday, I was quite shocked. I ate just over 2000 calories. My “prescribed goal” of calories is 1350 - 1750 given my activity level. I had to remind myself that the REASON I went to the gym was so that I could go over on my calories. But really, I was dismayed that I *treated* myself to just over 600 calories of rice. Rice is not THAT important. 600 calories!??? Ouch. Anyway, except for the chocolate soy ice cream, it was all quite healthy food. I need to keep reminding myself of that! And I RARELY go over calories, so it’s okay. It’s hard to get that through my head though.
Well, I’m still in bed, deciding what I want to do today. I’ve spent an hour or so on the internet replying, posting, and reading. What I’d really like to get motivated to do is go to a rec centre and go swimming. Well, I don’t actually swim. I mainly sit in the hot tub and sauna. I read the book “Ultra Metabolism” a few months ago, and it really helped me out of a plateau. While it seems as though I’m always trying to get out of a plateau, I have lost weight consistently since April. Already this year I have lost about 3.5 pounds. I’m getting off topic now. Sauna. Apparently you can sweat out toxins, and that’s good for you. Apparently your metabolism and your body works best at burning fat when it’s not trying to keep you healthy in other areas. I’m not interested in doing a real cleanse of any sort, because I’m not big on playing around with my calories. The liquid cleanse for a day or two that Scott mentioned sounded rather interesting though. I might give that a try on my next plateau. But at the moment, I’m doing really really well.
One of my life issues is that I get very very bored. At work, I can’t sit still. I literally do WORK for 8 hours a day. One of my favorite things to do is to be so “overwhelmed” with work, that I take a five minute lunch, and get right back to working. Some people sit in the lunch room, and basically stare at each other for a whole hour. I can’t do that. Why waste an entire hour? I heard a quote recently that went something like this: “Work very hard at your job for 8 hours a day, so that one day you can be the manager and work 12 hours a day.” I found that inspiring to put my work away at the end of the day. My goal is to do a good job at whatever I’m doing. This carries over in other areas of my life. I read until the exact moment that I’m falling asleep and can’t even reach up to turn off the lamp. When I walk - even to the bus - I put on either music or a podcast. This includes the treadmill. Some people workout without headphones. How do they do this? When I “relax”, it must be to some form of spoken meditation. If I really have nothing to do, I’ll play a computer game. And this brings me to the thought of: Why can’t I be alone with myself? What am I worried that I will think about, if I let a stray thought in? A long time ago, I read something about how people always have to have background noise. The TV needs to be on in the other room during dinner for some people. The radio has to be on in the car. Being around someone must always be filled with conversation. I remember this, but I don’t remember the solution or the explanation.
Last night, my boyfriend and I put the MTM episode 75 on our respective music players, and walked home from a friend’s house. It was a half hour walk, so the timing was perfect. It was nice to know that as I was hearing something funny that was being said, so was he. We did pause it from time to time so I could explain something to him (ie, “this is the guy I was telling you about whose friend said it was unlikely that he’d get in shape for the trip they are planning!") but in general it was quiet. Except, of course, for the podcast. I haven’t listened to the afterburner yet, and really want to. But I’m still in bed, and my headphones are on the kitchen counter. How lazy am I!???
Anyway, I’m glad to get this out. I used to be an avid journalist… I have daily diaries going back to grade one or so… (Which were really silly, I might add.) When my mom died, I didn’t want to remember too much, so have kept it down to an update every few weeks or so. This much consistency makes me feel fuzzy.
Meredith
January 5, 2007
Well, I figured that since I’ve been neglecting the other couple of sites I go to, I might as well have some form of journal over here. Let me start by saying that friends often call me “Mer” (pronounced Mare)… Mer in French is a pretty common word, meaning sea. (Sea food, ocean, etc.) Anyway, Jour d’Mer is the day of Mer, or the day of Sea. I don’t know. I’m just feeling wacky, and wanted to write something other than “Meredith’s Journal.” Jour d’Mer sounded much better.
So far 2007 is going pretty darn great. I had made a few resolutions, and I’m still excited about them. Yes, I do realize it’s only the 5th of January… But things are looking up in general. During the past few months, I have become increasingly depressed. I don’t know how others specifically feel about medication, but after my mom died rather suddenly almost 2 years ago, I went on some. About a month ago, I had it changed because I was feeling like I just couldn’t cope. I had a happy person somewhere inside of me, and it was hurting me even more to realize that. However, when I’d get home from work, I could do little but sit on the edge of my bed and cry. I WANTED to do more… I just felt so desparate and sad. I can’t really explain it. Things were bad. Real bad. But I’m bouncing back now, and am really glad for it. For once in my life things seem to be going pretty well. (knock on wood?)
One of my New Year’s Resolutions was to become a more positive person. That’s pretty vague, I know. But any progress in the direction of ‘more positive’ is certainly welcome in my life. I’ve also resolved to get right to the root of my emotional/mental problems. I’m planning to start seeing a psychologist again, and will stick with it. I also bought a book called “Your Depression Map” and have found it to be pretty helpful in finding out some of my triggers to being sad, overwhelmed, anxious, and so forth.
Another is a bit more weight loss. I lost 51 pounds in 2006 (gained one back over Christmas! so I ended the year at a 50 pound loss overall) and wouldn’t mind seeing another 15-30 pounds gone this year. However, now that my eating habits are better, and I actually LIKE exercise, I don’t think that I’ll have too much of a problem doing that. My self-esteem is pretty high after losing all that weight, that I’m pretty happy where I am right now. I’ve never been this light, except on the way up. And it was only this weight briefly!
So, I’ve found a few things that I can work on, and am hoping to get plans in action on how to succeed with them. Scott Smith’s story of his journey with his wife over the last half year has really made me look deep into my own loss. I am not sure if I hadn’t properly dealt with it or not. I’m not sure what really IS at the root of the depression. But I am determined to find out. And I think that’s a pretty big step.
Well, this is all for now!
(enter clever and witty phrase here)
Meredith
January 5, 2007
Day 5...
I'm not sure how I feel about rest days. Let me tell you all what I've been doing in general. Unless I know I'm going to be particularly lazy (and not go to the gym, or do any major sort of exercise) I work with weights either legs/butt on one day, abs the next, and arms the next day. I vary cardio incredibly, because I get bored fast. I alternate between the stair master, the elliptical, treadmill (including majorly random intervals, occasionally hills, fast/slow, whatever!) the bike (both in the gym, and outside) as well as general yard work and dog walking. While I will inevitably have a rest day, which is usually on a severely rainy day watching movies non-stop, I just don't think I need to plan them.
Anyway, yesterday was heavy on the legs, and today I went heavy on the arms at home, with my heaviest dumbbells. For cardio, I just did the normal skip-the-bus thing, as well as had a mild walk at lunch.
I really am feeling good about this challenge, and am glad that everyone is around here to help me out. I'm definitely learning a lot, and making some friends! So, thanks!
Meredith
Jan 4, 2007
Day 4!
Today was a gym day. I did 20 minutes on the elliptical, did my weight training (twice) and then another 20 on the elliptical.
After all that, I missed my bus, and walked all the way home again. Twice in one week! Look at me go ;)
To top ALL that off, at lunch, Niilo and I (that's the boyfriend) walked around a bit at lunch. Nothing strenuous, but I burned calories none the less.
I AM A MACHINE!!!
1/4/2007
100 Days of Exercise
So, to recap (I did introduce myself in another area) I’m 26 years old. I lost 50 pounds in 2006, and am going for another 15-30 pounds in 2007. I’m a vegan animal rights activist, and I have a vegetarian rottweiler.
I have a gym membership, and fortunately that gym is pretty much right next to my work place. I prefer to exercise after work, because I’m pretty lazy in the morning. Luckily, I don’t have any troubles sleeping at night, as I’ve heard some have with evening work-outs.
Well, this is all. Today I’ve already done a full set of various upper body dumbbell exercises here at home. For me, that definitely counts as a successful day 1!
Anyway, I’m not sure what we’re supposed to write, but because of starting this, I did some extra crunches and what not. I’m pretty excited about this upcoming year. My boyfriend is not pro-New-Years-Resolutions, and I can understand that. He feels that you should make changes as soon as you notice something, instead of waiting for a specific time. I haven’t WAITED for a specific time… I’m just using this time as kicking myself into a HIGHER gear.
Having said that, I’m going to continue reading up on my three favorite motivation-ish websites.
---
Ack! I just typed up a bunch, and hit “post reply” and it deleted everything! It’s my fault. I was fast-replying. Now I know better. Anyway, to recap:
Day 2 (yesterday) I skipped the extra bus on the way to work, and walked ALL the way home from work (about 5km?)… I stayed really late at work, and knew I didn’t have time to go to the gym if I wanted to get some other things done in the evening. So, I felt pretty good about walking home.
Day 3 (today) I skipped the extra bus TO work, as well as FROM work. (I take two buses to get to work, and two buses to get home from work.) I got in about an extra 30 minutes of walking from that.
The big highlight of mine today was finally signing up to be a premium MTM member. I am utterly amazed at how much stuff is in those archives! I’m totally excited, and am going to take a bunch of the episodes with me to the gym tomorrow. Mainly, I’m excited about the Daily Boost. Having something every day (well, week day) as part of my routine is a big deal. I work in accounting, and fit the persona pretty good.
Enough for now. There have been a ton of replies all over the board, and I have to go read them! I caught a funny snippet about how Scott was working up a sweat storm on the treadmill, but they he added off-hand that he always wipes the machine down. I’m thinking of showing that to a co-worker of mine who isn’t much of a machine-wiper. It’s weird.
Meredith
December 9, 2006
I didn't realize it had been so long since I updated this journal.
The Christmas party went really well. I looked great, and I felt relatively great. I felt like I fit in, which was a nice change. And there were people that were heavier than me, so I didn't feel out of place in that respect.
Work has been quite a bit better. I got time off to get my hair done, and had a half day off yesterday. We're getting a new girl on Monday, and I'm excited about that. Hopefully this one will care about details! (And not think that peanut butter M&Ms are breakfast, or go to the candy cabinet when you're hungry!)
I've been a lot more diligent in drinking water... I am surprised at how often I fall off the water bandwagon. Why can't there be good points for the coffee bandwagon?
Christmas is coming, and I did a card-making class. I was really shocked at how fabulous the cards I made turned out. I had no idea that I was capable of such things!
As for my general stress level... I think I'm able to control it a bit better. I am feeling a bit frustrated about things I know I *should* be doing, but really don't want to do. At least I know what is going on now, and hopefully will have the backbone to do what is necessary.
Anyway, more another time!
Don't give up - Give MORE!
12/9/2006
Don't give up - Give MORE!
After thinking about "don't give up" I think that probably IS my secret. I've been through the weeks (months!) where there has been no weight loss... But now I don't get down hearted about it. The weight WILL come off, but only if I stick with it. Plateaus can't last forever.
If you do stop losing weight, drink more water, get more excersize, do different excersize, get a massage, etc etc... Try new things. And weight will either start coming quickly off, or it will take awhile. But if you eat better and excersize more, the weight CAN NOT STAY FOREVER!
11/27/2006
Sad, sad,
Today is the worst day in a long time. I'm sure there are causes and reasons... but it doesn't change the fact that today is really really horrible. I'm very depressed.