hallo

[squeakyzepirate]

and it has been about forever since we last caught wind of our daring heroin (female hero)! What is she up to now? Well, sailing the rough seas of living with her mother, the dreaded Fat Bitch Debbie of Trailor Park Port, and also living with Jack Of Spades, her first mate and key to her heart. The rough seas are only made rougher by the fact that she is not able to find a port to sail to, since every apartment in the Alabama Ocean is apparently full or 850 dubloons a month. And while the Pirate Captain is trying to make an honest living, she cannot seem to find a fair trade to get into since the Port city of Bay Minette doesn't seem to want a pirate like Captain Squeaky, and her trade of the Waffle Pub in the Shores of the Gulf isn't going to well, what with the pub keeper, a one Mr. Chris, never seems to be around to do the hiring paperwork. Yes, it has been hard sailing for our daring heroin (female hero), but we're all sure she will learn to steer and actually know what everything on a ship is for, one day. She can't sail a stick. It's a shame. Jack of Spades can, so the first mate has been bumped up to Navigator. But Captain Squeaky is always in command of her vessel. yes, first mate is above navigator. I know. We know. but we like to say he was bumped up instead of demoted. Happy? He's the only one who knows how to work the Clutch Sail, which requires far more rigging than Captain Squeaky is willing to figure out. And with that, Fair Thee Well! Heave away, me maties, Yo ho!

-The Crew of The S.S. Mobile Smoking Center