The Club
I was so tired on Friday that I just wanted to go home and go to bed, but Chris told me that he would be home and online, so I got online to chat and play World of Warcraft with him. Eventually he told me that he was going out to meet one of his friends, and this is when I finally tell you about that group he was a member of and that he’s rejoined as a part of opening up our relationship, and that I hate. Hate. HATE.
It has many names, but we generally refer to it as the seduction community or pick up. As in pick up artists. As in, those sleazy guys who make a hobby out of hitting on women in bars (or wherever) and sleeping with them and then tossing them aside. This was Chris’ hobby when I met him, although he initially only told me this in bits and pieces.
Basically, it’s an online community in which men arrange to meet in person and give each other tips on how to get laid. They also write these tips online, but they go out together in groups of two (or more) to aid each other and inhibit cock blocking. And then they write up “field reports”-detailed accounts of their evenings out, including what they did that resulted in them getting laid and what they did that failed.
Originally, Chris told me that he was something like “Hitch,”-a dating adviser, to sad-sack men. And then he admitted to being involved in a community of men whose goal is to get girlfriends, but their inexperience requires them to go out and hit on women and sleep with women before they’re acceptable enough for relationships. And then he admitted that most of these guys are really only looking to get laid-they may also want a girlfriend on the side (that would be my role, of course) but they are not seeking out monogamous relationships.
There are lots of techniques for picking up these women, and I’ve read a lot of them. The basic goal is to be able to engage a woman in conversation, so you have to have something clever to say. And then you have to touch her and make your sexual interest known. If this results in having sex, then you’re A MAN!
Chris gave up this lifestyle for me. He never intended to, but he was blindsided when I asked him if we’d be dating exclusively after he first came to Prague and I guess he was interested in me so he decided to try an exclusive, monogamous relationship. At that point, he left the community, maintaining a bit of contact with them until he phased it out entirely.
Unfortunately, he didn't replace the seduction community with any other hobby, save World of Warcraft, so he saw himself turn into a "sad, pathetic, beta man" (his words). He gained some weight and became sedentary. It took him months to finally admit to himself that this wasn't working, but rather than find a new hobby, he declared that he cannot be in a monogamous relationship and he must be a pickup artist. So he opened our relationship and headed back to the community.
The open relationship is bothersome on one level but it doesn’t upset me nearly as much as his return to the seduction community. I find it detestable and disgusting. And since I’ve become more focused on losing weight and buying David’s love, I’ve let this unsavory aspect of Chris fade into the background, but Friday’s conversation made it front and center. And I again told Chris that I wouldn’t tolerate it; if he had to do pickup, I would have to leave him.
This was probably around 11 PM, and I knew he was going out around 11:30, so I told him good night and intended to go to bed. He sent me two text messages. One said, “Please don’t leave me.” And then, “I can still be the best man that you will ever have.”
At around 3 AM, my phone rang. It was Chris, returning after a night out. He said that he needed to talk to me and asked that I get on Skype, so I did. He said that he didn’t want to lose me and that he would do anything to keep me. I told him that he knew what I wanted, but I was just waking up and tired so there wasn’t much that I could say, so we decided to talk again in the morning.
Which is when he told me that he would give up pick up, if we could still have an open relationship. But he said that he didn’t need pick up and that watching his friend try to pick up women last night was embarrassing and abhorrent. He also talked to one of his friends about it (the one with the teenage mistress) and he agreed that pick up is embarrassing.
So, Chris said he would leave the seduction community. But he said that he would still go out with women and flirt and work on his social skills and still try to pick up women to sleep with them.
And, to me, this doesn’t sound any different. It sounds like he’s telling me that he’s leaving the community just to keep me satisfied, but he won’t change any of his habits and his being in Vienna allows him to keep this secret from me. The difference between his proposal and my perception of his pick up artist lifestyle is that his attitude towards women will improve, and he won’t be such a dick. But even that’s not a certainty.
Also, I may have written about this before, but I think that one of the selling points for David to approach me for a relationship was the fact that I’m now in an open relationship with Chris. And I don’t mean that that now makes me fair game. I mean that he probably thinks that he could have the same arrangement.
That said, why would that be an improvement over the current situation? He can sleep with me now; he can sleep with other women; he doesn’t have any responsibility to me. But maybe he wants to spend his life with a woman who will allow him plenty of relationships on the side. Or, if he takes me as his girlfriend, he bumps Chris off and has top priority but still gets to keep everything as is.
Gosh, so many possibilities.
Anyway, I’m supposed to go to Vienna this weekend. I’m planning to take an early train on Saturday morning so that I don’t have to cut out of work early on Friday. And then I’m going to the Netherlands the following weekend.
I haven’t seen David in several days; his mom is visiting; he turned 34 on Thursday; and we last exchanged emails on that day.
I’m going to see a personal trainer tonight and went on a very long (and beautiful) hash trail yesterday. That’s most everything, I guess.
It has many names, but we generally refer to it as the seduction community or pick up. As in pick up artists. As in, those sleazy guys who make a hobby out of hitting on women in bars (or wherever) and sleeping with them and then tossing them aside. This was Chris’ hobby when I met him, although he initially only told me this in bits and pieces.
Basically, it’s an online community in which men arrange to meet in person and give each other tips on how to get laid. They also write these tips online, but they go out together in groups of two (or more) to aid each other and inhibit cock blocking. And then they write up “field reports”-detailed accounts of their evenings out, including what they did that resulted in them getting laid and what they did that failed.
Originally, Chris told me that he was something like “Hitch,”-a dating adviser, to sad-sack men. And then he admitted to being involved in a community of men whose goal is to get girlfriends, but their inexperience requires them to go out and hit on women and sleep with women before they’re acceptable enough for relationships. And then he admitted that most of these guys are really only looking to get laid-they may also want a girlfriend on the side (that would be my role, of course) but they are not seeking out monogamous relationships.
There are lots of techniques for picking up these women, and I’ve read a lot of them. The basic goal is to be able to engage a woman in conversation, so you have to have something clever to say. And then you have to touch her and make your sexual interest known. If this results in having sex, then you’re A MAN!
Chris gave up this lifestyle for me. He never intended to, but he was blindsided when I asked him if we’d be dating exclusively after he first came to Prague and I guess he was interested in me so he decided to try an exclusive, monogamous relationship. At that point, he left the community, maintaining a bit of contact with them until he phased it out entirely.
Unfortunately, he didn't replace the seduction community with any other hobby, save World of Warcraft, so he saw himself turn into a "sad, pathetic, beta man" (his words). He gained some weight and became sedentary. It took him months to finally admit to himself that this wasn't working, but rather than find a new hobby, he declared that he cannot be in a monogamous relationship and he must be a pickup artist. So he opened our relationship and headed back to the community.
The open relationship is bothersome on one level but it doesn’t upset me nearly as much as his return to the seduction community. I find it detestable and disgusting. And since I’ve become more focused on losing weight and buying David’s love, I’ve let this unsavory aspect of Chris fade into the background, but Friday’s conversation made it front and center. And I again told Chris that I wouldn’t tolerate it; if he had to do pickup, I would have to leave him.
This was probably around 11 PM, and I knew he was going out around 11:30, so I told him good night and intended to go to bed. He sent me two text messages. One said, “Please don’t leave me.” And then, “I can still be the best man that you will ever have.”
At around 3 AM, my phone rang. It was Chris, returning after a night out. He said that he needed to talk to me and asked that I get on Skype, so I did. He said that he didn’t want to lose me and that he would do anything to keep me. I told him that he knew what I wanted, but I was just waking up and tired so there wasn’t much that I could say, so we decided to talk again in the morning.
Which is when he told me that he would give up pick up, if we could still have an open relationship. But he said that he didn’t need pick up and that watching his friend try to pick up women last night was embarrassing and abhorrent. He also talked to one of his friends about it (the one with the teenage mistress) and he agreed that pick up is embarrassing.
So, Chris said he would leave the seduction community. But he said that he would still go out with women and flirt and work on his social skills and still try to pick up women to sleep with them.
And, to me, this doesn’t sound any different. It sounds like he’s telling me that he’s leaving the community just to keep me satisfied, but he won’t change any of his habits and his being in Vienna allows him to keep this secret from me. The difference between his proposal and my perception of his pick up artist lifestyle is that his attitude towards women will improve, and he won’t be such a dick. But even that’s not a certainty.
Also, I may have written about this before, but I think that one of the selling points for David to approach me for a relationship was the fact that I’m now in an open relationship with Chris. And I don’t mean that that now makes me fair game. I mean that he probably thinks that he could have the same arrangement.
That said, why would that be an improvement over the current situation? He can sleep with me now; he can sleep with other women; he doesn’t have any responsibility to me. But maybe he wants to spend his life with a woman who will allow him plenty of relationships on the side. Or, if he takes me as his girlfriend, he bumps Chris off and has top priority but still gets to keep everything as is.
Gosh, so many possibilities.
Anyway, I’m supposed to go to Vienna this weekend. I’m planning to take an early train on Saturday morning so that I don’t have to cut out of work early on Friday. And then I’m going to the Netherlands the following weekend.
I haven’t seen David in several days; his mom is visiting; he turned 34 on Thursday; and we last exchanged emails on that day.
I’m going to see a personal trainer tonight and went on a very long (and beautiful) hash trail yesterday. That’s most everything, I guess.