(no subject)
I found a kitten on the sidewalk today on my way to my boys' baseball game. He couldn't have been more than a few months old, and he was completely blind. One eye had this red mass grown over it and the other was a dark grey, and both kinda bugged out. I tried to give him food but he ignored it, and then I went to find out where the vet was, but all I got was that it was far away and in that direction.
So I went back to the kitten and tried to pick him up with my other shirt but he jumped away and hit the wall and tried to climb it. It broke my heart to see him like that. I spent 15 more minutes trying to catch him and trying not to cry and failed at both so I just went to the game.
During the game I realised I hadn't even tried to give him water from my bottle, but I wasn't going to see him again since I was taking the bus. But the bus I grabbed stopped at the stop right near him and I had to wait for the next one, so I ran back to find him and he was curled up resting, peaceful as can be. So I put water in the cap and ran off crying.
I feel awful. I had a chance--a second chance, even--to help this guy and I ran from both. I keep trying to justify that I was running late, that I didn't know where the vet was, that I didn't want to terrify him again like I had that first time. But I don't feel any different than someone who sees an injured animal by the side of the road and just drives off. And I can't stop crying, either.
I really don't know what I should have done. And all I can think of is the Best Friends Sanctuary, and how those people wouldn't leave a kitten alone like I did. And even though I know the vets woulda just put him to sleep, at least it would be painless and he wouldn't have to suffer.