(no subject)
Dear Bee,
Well, you're off to see a specialist. Good luck with that. I miss you more with every second. Come home to me soon. And please work for real this time.
Love,
Colleen
Dear Squad Who Rolls Out Deep,
I'm stocking up on antibiotics and I've made appointments at Planned Parenthood so we can cure our 12 (shit) thousand herpes after tonight. The Big L in all its glory. Lovely. I can't wait to see you!
Roll out,
Colleen
Dear DCCC,
Rot in hell, you selfish bastards. I hate you and almost everything you stand for. Except for Drama 120.
Other than that, though, you are SOO cut from the team. If we were in a high school cafeteria, I'd be at the cool table and you'd be with the band geeks*.
Not the sexually active ones, either.
Disrespectfully,
Colleen
Dear Temple,
You're like the object of my obsessive crush. Why don't you want me even a fraction of how much I want you? Why are you constantly trying to keep me from stalking/attending you? Are you cheating on me with that bitch from the band geek table? She won't put out, but she will give you mono! Don't say I didn't warn you. And when you're stuck in bed for prom and all that, and no girl wants to kiss you because you're diseased, just remember that you could have had me. And I'm way hotter than her anyway.
Always in my heart,
Colleen
Dear God,
Are You there? It's me, Margaret. No, I'm kidding. Why do You hate me? Did I do something wrong? How can I fix my karmic energy? It all seems so negative, and it all kind of leads right back to You. Please tell me how to fix this.
Oh, also, will You be my Valentine? Circle one: YES or NO
In The Name Of The Father,
Colleen
PS Could You stop the rain? PLEASE?
*Contrary to popular belief, all band kids, geeks or not, are actually awesome. But I don't think DCCC is smart enough to see past that stereotype. I'm beginning to think Temple isn't either. Those jerkfaces.
Well, you're off to see a specialist. Good luck with that. I miss you more with every second. Come home to me soon. And please work for real this time.
Love,
Colleen
Dear Squad Who Rolls Out Deep,
I'm stocking up on antibiotics and I've made appointments at Planned Parenthood so we can cure our 12 (shit) thousand herpes after tonight. The Big L in all its glory. Lovely. I can't wait to see you!
Roll out,
Colleen
Dear DCCC,
Rot in hell, you selfish bastards. I hate you and almost everything you stand for. Except for Drama 120.
Other than that, though, you are SOO cut from the team. If we were in a high school cafeteria, I'd be at the cool table and you'd be with the band geeks*.
Not the sexually active ones, either.
Disrespectfully,
Colleen
Dear Temple,
You're like the object of my obsessive crush. Why don't you want me even a fraction of how much I want you? Why are you constantly trying to keep me from stalking/attending you? Are you cheating on me with that bitch from the band geek table? She won't put out, but she will give you mono! Don't say I didn't warn you. And when you're stuck in bed for prom and all that, and no girl wants to kiss you because you're diseased, just remember that you could have had me. And I'm way hotter than her anyway.
Always in my heart,
Colleen
Dear God,
Are You there? It's me, Margaret. No, I'm kidding. Why do You hate me? Did I do something wrong? How can I fix my karmic energy? It all seems so negative, and it all kind of leads right back to You. Please tell me how to fix this.
Oh, also, will You be my Valentine? Circle one: YES or NO
In The Name Of The Father,
Colleen
PS Could You stop the rain? PLEASE?
*Contrary to popular belief, all band kids, geeks or not, are actually awesome. But I don't think DCCC is smart enough to see past that stereotype. I'm beginning to think Temple isn't either. Those jerkfaces.