this devil's workday
i know that this is the first entry i've written in quite some time. i guess i just haven't come back for so long because i've been caught up in living life, getting by, and giving all of my time to other people. i know that this break will have to be about me. there's no question about that. i've worked my ass off this semester. i've been a total recluse--well, to a larger degree, and i must admit that it has felt kind of strange. but these socks have holes in them, and i've got to figure out exactly how i feel about everything, how i feel about what i'm studying, how i feel about my family, how about i feel about bathie.
sometimes i go to bed, after watching people make total fools of themselves on that show elimidate, and just want to say to myself: wtf. because for 30 minutes i'll totally feel like i have control of my life, and that i have direction, and then for the next 30 minutes i can't be certain that i like what i'm studying or dedicating my life to--academically, people-wise, too.
things are looking up, though, and i'm happy to say that i know myself better. this semester has been a toal range of emotion, and i've run the entire gammot. and while i'm sick of it--the worser, downer parts--i want to continue the upper parts. and while i realized that me feeling so lonely was just part of my lot in life, and that maybe i'm meant to live (to some lesser degree, i hope) the life of a hermit, it has certainly been a great opportunity to just do what i want to. and that's what i've decided this next phase of my life is going to be about: doing what i want, and getting out of stl. why? because i've got to, and things are starting to get stagnant. no, i don't know yet exactly what i want to do, but who does anyway, right?
onward. tally ho.
sometimes i go to bed, after watching people make total fools of themselves on that show elimidate, and just want to say to myself: wtf. because for 30 minutes i'll totally feel like i have control of my life, and that i have direction, and then for the next 30 minutes i can't be certain that i like what i'm studying or dedicating my life to--academically, people-wise, too.
things are looking up, though, and i'm happy to say that i know myself better. this semester has been a toal range of emotion, and i've run the entire gammot. and while i'm sick of it--the worser, downer parts--i want to continue the upper parts. and while i realized that me feeling so lonely was just part of my lot in life, and that maybe i'm meant to live (to some lesser degree, i hope) the life of a hermit, it has certainly been a great opportunity to just do what i want to. and that's what i've decided this next phase of my life is going to be about: doing what i want, and getting out of stl. why? because i've got to, and things are starting to get stagnant. no, i don't know yet exactly what i want to do, but who does anyway, right?
onward. tally ho.