Finding his flame again [Active, Closed]

[notthatharry]

WHO: Harry, Kazumi
LOCATION: Harry's room
WEEK: 56
TIME: Day
WHAT: Hogwart's investigative duo reunite
RATING: PG-13 for now, will adjust as needed

Comments

[sakeofthescoop]

Kazumi paced outside the Gryffindor common room for a bit. She needed to figure out how best to approach this. Catty had warned her about Harry's strange behavior, as had Flash, and if even Bob was concerned she knew there had to be a serious problem. The real question was how to fix it. Kazumi hadn't been the best girlfriend as of late, taking off to look after her mother without so much as a note. "You could have at least sent an owl," she muttered, regretting her decision now. Granted, no one could really blame her. Her mom was her only relative and had been in a serious accident. She was fine now, but that didn't take away the worry Kazumi had felt upon hearing the news.

No, she couldn't dwell on that right now. There were more important matters to attend to. Her mom was fine...she could now worry about Harry.

"And it would probably be best to be as blunt as possible," Kazumi muttered to herself. She turned to the portrait and tossed out the week's password. It was sometimes ridiculously easy to get those things from first years. Kazumi glanced around to make sure no one was looking and quickly slipped up to Harry's room. She'd be in trouble if she got caught, but hopefully everyone was a little more focused on their own studies than anything else. The intrepid reporter stopped outside Harry's door, took a few more minutes to consider her options, then merely opened the door and slipped in, not wanting to linger in the hallway for fear of being spotted.

"Hey."

[notthatharry]

Suddenly Harry's cloud of moroseness was penetrated by a voice that somehow managed to throw his careful calm into confusion with a single word. Classic teenage confusion about girls and girlfriends and love intermingled with more personal confusion about his fate and past and the pain and darkness that particularly lurked inside him to create a hurricane of uncertainty could inspire a thousand self help books.

Taking a deep breath, Harry tried to filter through all the emotions racing through his heart. Joy she was back. Worry for what she had been through. Shame he hadn't been there. Anger she hadn't told him where she was going. Fear he might hurt her.

Fear he might lose her.

It was all too much for any one person to bare, so Harry did what he always did when faced with an insurmountable challenge; he ignored the parts he couldn't handle and pushed blindly ahead. Somewhere he could feel his soon to be therapist twitching in horror. Looking up, he gave her an expression that tried to be a smile, and waved weakly.

"Hey."

[sakeofthescoop]

There was a subtle shift in Harry's eyes. Kazumi noticed it, but wasn't sure what it meant. She stored the information away for later and crossed the room, leaving her bag by the door.

She made her way over to Harry, dropped to her knees, and quickly pulled her boyfriend into a hug. "I missed you and I'm so sorry I wasn't here to help," she got out with her face buried against his shoulder. It was good to hold him again. Kazumi would never admit it, but she had secretly wished during those long nights in the hospital that he had been there for her to hold on to.

[notthatharry]

Merlin it felt good to be held. Harry felt something break inside him when she wrapped her arms around him, and suddenly he was leaning into her, desperate for the comfort she always seemed to provide him. He'd been so certain before, so determined to break it off with her, knowing that it was better to hurt her now than let her stick around and have to see what he would become, before he became the monster the Boggart had showed him, but all that resolve crumpled in an instant in the face of having her here.

The words of everyone suddenly filled his ears, everything all those people, all those friends suddenly hitting home all at once, made real by her warmth, her love.

For a second all Harry could do was sit there, his body trembling, but then his arms moved on their own to wrap around her, pulling her close so that he could bury his face in her hair so he could know for sure that this was real, and so she couldn't see his tears.

[sakeofthescoop]

It was funny how the smallest of actions could have such a big impact. Kazumi was a little surprised when Harry reacted like he did. It was in that moment that she knew how hard he had had it over the past few weeks. She had meant for it to be a quick hug, but she could hardly pull away now. Kazumi closed her eyes and her hug tightened a little. Truth be told, it was in that moment that she also realized how much she had needed him.

She also decided there was no way she could let him be alone now. She might not have seen the tears, but it was pretty obvious that there was some new moisture on her hair. She let the moment last a little longer before whispering, "That bad, huh?"

[notthatharry]

"Worse, actually," he answered, trying for nonchalance and coming off more as 'covering how bad he felt.' It was like all the walls he had set up around himself, everything he'd done to keep people away from his heart, she just somehow got past them all. Of course, he should have known better, no one could keep Kazumi away from her goal, especially not him.

"I'm glad you're back," he whispered, and he meant it. How had he not realized how lonely hew as these past few weeks, how lonely he'd made himself?

[sakeofthescoop]

Kazumi gave him another smile, it was smaller than the smile she had given him before...and touched with a little bit of guilt. She knew it wasn't her fault he was like this...not entirely. That still didn't help her feel any better. "I can't promise miracles. But I'll try to help."

She nodded, "I'm glad to see you again."

[notthatharry]

"That's okay, I stopped believing in miracles a long time ago." Though with her, he could almost believe in them.

Leaning back slightly, Harry gave her a tired smile, his eyes shining in the candlelight. "I'm glad to see you again. So glad. I couldn't-" Stopping himself, he closed his eyes and tried to regain some composure. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't be, how's your mom?" She'd been through so much already, she didn't need him breaking down on her. Some boyfriend he was, wasn't he supposed to be making her feel better?

[sakeofthescoop]

She debated for a moment whether she should actually let that slide or not, but decided against it. One problem at a time, she could work that part out later. For the moment she studied the light in his eyes and wondered why they seemed so much harder now. Sometimes she felt like she could get lost in that gaze.

His question broke the moment though. "Mom? She's doing better. The accident looked more serious than it actually was," Kazumi paused, taking a breath, "a few broken bones, a fracture or two, and bruises of course. She'll be fine though, no internal damage to the organs." Her voice was steady, like she was reciting something off a cue card...or like she had been told that same report by a dozen different doctors and then repeated it to a dozen different people.

She was so glad it hadn't been worse. So glad that her mother was still with her. She couldn't even think about what she would have done without her. Kazumi figured she would have started up the search for her father again...but that usually just led to dead ends the last few times she'd tried finding him. It was only during times like these that she even thought about him and who he might really be. Her mother said so little after all. Even when she was injured and lying in the hospital, she had never asked for him. The doctors told her that the only person she ever asked about was "Kazumi."

[notthatharry]

"I'm really glad to hear that." Kazumi's mother had been so kind to him, welcoming a virtual stranger into her home and letting him share one of the few times she would get to see her daughter during the year. She had given a Christmas to a boy who had never known one before, something Harry would treasure for the rest of his life. Even without all that, however, there was also the simple fact that Kazumi loved her, and that made her someone very important to Harry as well.

He was silent for a second, just holding her, before he continued softly, "I know how scary that must have been, but your mom is really lucky to have had you there for her. I don't think many people could have looked after her like you did."

[sakeofthescoop]

"It was, it really was," Kazumi admitted. She didn't have any other family. If something happened to her mother, well, she didn't know what she'd do. Sometimes she wondered how Harry did it. He had McCoy, of course, but she knew that couldn't be the same.

"But, like I already said, she's fine now. I came to see you and I'd rather not think about the past few weeks right this moment."

[notthatharry]

"Right, sorry." He was supposed to not be dwelling on the past, and yet here he was doing it again.

Silence stretched on for a minute, before he sighed and admitted, "I have no clue what to talk about."

[sakeofthescoop]

Kazumi looked thoughtful for a moment. Even she was coming up blank on things to talk about. Especially since they both seemed to be a little on the depressed side. Suddenly she snapped her finger and smiled, "We don't have to talk. How about I give you a shoulder massage instead?" They hadn't really done a lot of "couple stuff" in awhile. This would be good, right?

[notthatharry]

Not having to talk, and getting a shoulder rub from his girlfriend on top of things. Something told Harry this was a good deal. Perhaps he did have a entrepreneurial side after all.

"I guess that would be alright, but you owe me one," he teased gently, smiling over at her.

[sakeofthescoop]

"I owe you one? Who is giving whom a back rub?" Kazumi retorted with a teasing eye roll. She shifted around and made her way behind Harry, getting back onto her knees because even though Harry was sitting on the floor she couldn't exactly reach his shoulders by sitting in the same position. She brushed her bangs out of her eyes and then shook her fingers out before putting her hands on his shoulders.

It didn't take a professional masseur to feel how tense he was.

[notthatharry]

He'd carried the weight of the world on his shoulders, and of late that weight had grown too great for him to bear. He'd never realized how much his body ached from restrained tension, probably because he'd gotten used to just pushing pain aside and charging recklessly forward.

Or maybe it was because no one had ever touched him so gently in a very long time.

When her fingers first brushed his shoulder he tensed, his body unconsciously readying itself to accept some blow, but unlike in the past this time he forced himself to relax, closing his eyes and leaning back into her touch. He had to trust her, no, he did trust her, and it was time his body got with the program.