Last few days...
My updates are becoming few and far between. However, this last week has been semi-eventful; mostly because of funny events which occured in close proximity to Ben. If you ever read this, which you probably will when you're left to 'revise' (strictly in inverted commas) by Mr Fogg on the computers, then you should know you turned my week from being mediocre into quite a funny week. Thankyou.
I shall start about Thursday, on Thursday we had Business Studies, like every other Thursday, but coincidentally, not next Thursday, because we are W to the A to the G to the G to the I to the N to the motherfucking G. But yeah, we went to Business Studies with this old faggot of a Business Studies, aptly named Mr Higginbotham. Needless to say, Ben and I gave him hell, kid. It was one of the funniest lessons I had the priveledge of staying in, it was very funny.
Ben and the Higginboner fought over someone's leavers book, because it wasn't his.
I asked him how many times he got laid in the last six months.
We just generally took the piss, which resulted in Ben and I being put on a lesson report, and when asked to sign his name on the top of the report card, he asked what it was. When not recieving an answer he said "I ain't signing it until you tell me what it is." Which is fair enough, as he could have been secretly putting his name down to be the next victim in Higginbotham's bum-fun crew, along with Matty Catherall. Now we all know why he's so traumatized the whole time, the truth has been exposed kids.
At the end of the first lesson of the double period, Chow, Ben and I ran out of the room, to find Jake. We found him, I stole his hat, and went back into class wearing it. When asked to take it off, it was claimed I was sunburnt and needed it.
Ben then, to support his Rebellion régime tried to instigate everyone to charge out of the class-room at once. We only got 6 volunteers though, which was short of the target of 10 that he aimed for, so we didn't do anything. Then at 15:22, and Mr.Higginbotham refusing to let us go those few minutes early, and with a congregation of people gathering outside the lesson, Ben said "Fuck this, later sir," and dashed for the door only to be greeted by a diving Mr.Higginbotham yelling "noooooooo" that you see in really cheesy movies, completely blocking him off. Haha, I've not laughed so hard in a while.
On Friday, to celebrate the 2nd to last Business lesson that we would be attending, I brought boozy into school, and drunk it at lunch time, except a little bit at the end of the photographs and having my ear plug removed by the horse that is Ms. Bennison. Went to Business Studies, giggled a lot, and that was all. Went to Chemistry, had fun with my '1234quadmethylcumstains" gained lots of laughs because everybody, except Mr Jones, knew I was drunk. Hilarious really.
Then after school, I was gonna go to Eccleston with Marc and Dave and Jake, cos Marc and Dave said they probs would, and because Jake usually does if there's an opportunity to have fun. Needless to say, I ended up going on my own. :)
Met up with Amy, met up with Ben and SPG and others. We then drank quite a bit of my buttercup vodka, and Ben's cheap minging vodka, but we were only allowed to drink some if we "blessed the shot, for it is evil." We got kinda very drunk, but Ben wasn't as used to it as I am, so he felt it worse.
Me and Ben rugby tackle dueled, meaning we ran at each other and tackled the shit out of each other. It hurt, but the hilarity of it was worth it.
Ben tried to wheelie also, and failed, muchly badly.
He also picked a fight with SPG because he was taking the piss, and with Jonny Roberts cos he called him a german.
He also repeated himself over and over, which was ace. Three of his best used phrases were:-
"Dave, I thought you were a sound guy. I'm well sound with you all the time, and you're just taking the piss."
and
"Dave, Amy, Dave. Promise me this. Next time I see you you've got to promise to get stoned with me, Dave and Amy. Because all my mates, they're sound, but they're chavs and like dance music."
and
"Dave, and Amy. If I ever say anything nasty to you I didn't mean it."
and
"Dave, you like good music. All my mates are chavs, and listen to dance shit."
And those went round and round, much like Amy's media player, judging by her last played songs.
1 Alexisonfire - 44. Caliber Love Letter
2 Alexisonfire - 44. Caliber Love Letter
3 Alexisonfire - 44. Caliber Love Letter
4 Alexisonfire - 44. Caliber Love Letter
5 Alexisonfire - 44. Caliber Love Letter
6 Alexisonfire - 44. Caliber Love Letter
It was funny.
Then the cops came, the highlight of my night. Ben was sat on his bike, telling us how his mates like dance music, when the policeman came up behind him.
Dave: "Ben, theres a copper behind you, put your vodka away."
Ben: "My mates, yeah? They all listen to dance music."
Dave: "Fucking put it away."
The copper taps him on his back, and he falls off his bike.
Copper: "You drunk?"
Ben: "No."
Copper: "What's that in your hand?"
Ben: "Urrrrrrm... vodka."
Copper: "You shouldn't be drinking that, give it here."
Ben tried the sneaky snake tactic he'd used yesterday. in Mr Higginbotham's lesson.
Ben: "No, not yours."
Eventually he handed it over, after much persuasion, being asked if he wanted to spend the night in a police cell. He was then told to get out of his sight.
Copper: "Get out my sight."
Ben : "Can I just tell you one thing, yeah? You're a sound guy, and if I ever insulted you, yeah? I didn't mean it."
Copper: "Get out my sight."
Ben: "Or your family too."
Copper: "Now."
Ben: "K."
He got back on his bike, started to ride, straight into the nearest tree, went over his handle bars and went "owwwww."
Was ace.
I found out Shawn Hughes had been expelled, and then Ben passed out in his pisseded state, and shivered, so I lent him my hoody cos I'm nice. I then missed my bus, so I slept at Amy's, and we learnt about rising oil prices and watched Jackass throw cricket balls at each other crotch area.
Saturday, we lazed because of lack of sleep.
Sunday, fuck all, but I witnessed an argument between Jake and his Dad. We couldn't arrange a piss-up in a brewery apparantely.
In a few hours I get to see Boysetsfire, you wouldn't believe how long I have waited. Should be good.
Late.x
I shall start about Thursday, on Thursday we had Business Studies, like every other Thursday, but coincidentally, not next Thursday, because we are W to the A to the G to the G to the I to the N to the motherfucking G. But yeah, we went to Business Studies with this old faggot of a Business Studies, aptly named Mr Higginbotham. Needless to say, Ben and I gave him hell, kid. It was one of the funniest lessons I had the priveledge of staying in, it was very funny.
Ben and the Higginboner fought over someone's leavers book, because it wasn't his.
I asked him how many times he got laid in the last six months.
We just generally took the piss, which resulted in Ben and I being put on a lesson report, and when asked to sign his name on the top of the report card, he asked what it was. When not recieving an answer he said "I ain't signing it until you tell me what it is." Which is fair enough, as he could have been secretly putting his name down to be the next victim in Higginbotham's bum-fun crew, along with Matty Catherall. Now we all know why he's so traumatized the whole time, the truth has been exposed kids.
At the end of the first lesson of the double period, Chow, Ben and I ran out of the room, to find Jake. We found him, I stole his hat, and went back into class wearing it. When asked to take it off, it was claimed I was sunburnt and needed it.
Ben then, to support his Rebellion régime tried to instigate everyone to charge out of the class-room at once. We only got 6 volunteers though, which was short of the target of 10 that he aimed for, so we didn't do anything. Then at 15:22, and Mr.Higginbotham refusing to let us go those few minutes early, and with a congregation of people gathering outside the lesson, Ben said "Fuck this, later sir," and dashed for the door only to be greeted by a diving Mr.Higginbotham yelling "noooooooo" that you see in really cheesy movies, completely blocking him off. Haha, I've not laughed so hard in a while.
On Friday, to celebrate the 2nd to last Business lesson that we would be attending, I brought boozy into school, and drunk it at lunch time, except a little bit at the end of the photographs and having my ear plug removed by the horse that is Ms. Bennison. Went to Business Studies, giggled a lot, and that was all. Went to Chemistry, had fun with my '1234quadmethylcumstains" gained lots of laughs because everybody, except Mr Jones, knew I was drunk. Hilarious really.
Then after school, I was gonna go to Eccleston with Marc and Dave and Jake, cos Marc and Dave said they probs would, and because Jake usually does if there's an opportunity to have fun. Needless to say, I ended up going on my own. :)
Met up with Amy, met up with Ben and SPG and others. We then drank quite a bit of my buttercup vodka, and Ben's cheap minging vodka, but we were only allowed to drink some if we "blessed the shot, for it is evil." We got kinda very drunk, but Ben wasn't as used to it as I am, so he felt it worse.
Me and Ben rugby tackle dueled, meaning we ran at each other and tackled the shit out of each other. It hurt, but the hilarity of it was worth it.
Ben tried to wheelie also, and failed, muchly badly.
He also picked a fight with SPG because he was taking the piss, and with Jonny Roberts cos he called him a german.
He also repeated himself over and over, which was ace. Three of his best used phrases were:-
"Dave, I thought you were a sound guy. I'm well sound with you all the time, and you're just taking the piss."
and
"Dave, Amy, Dave. Promise me this. Next time I see you you've got to promise to get stoned with me, Dave and Amy. Because all my mates, they're sound, but they're chavs and like dance music."
and
"Dave, and Amy. If I ever say anything nasty to you I didn't mean it."
and
"Dave, you like good music. All my mates are chavs, and listen to dance shit."
And those went round and round, much like Amy's media player, judging by her last played songs.
1 Alexisonfire - 44. Caliber Love Letter
2 Alexisonfire - 44. Caliber Love Letter
3 Alexisonfire - 44. Caliber Love Letter
4 Alexisonfire - 44. Caliber Love Letter
5 Alexisonfire - 44. Caliber Love Letter
6 Alexisonfire - 44. Caliber Love Letter
It was funny.
Then the cops came, the highlight of my night. Ben was sat on his bike, telling us how his mates like dance music, when the policeman came up behind him.
Dave: "Ben, theres a copper behind you, put your vodka away."
Ben: "My mates, yeah? They all listen to dance music."
Dave: "Fucking put it away."
The copper taps him on his back, and he falls off his bike.
Copper: "You drunk?"
Ben: "No."
Copper: "What's that in your hand?"
Ben: "Urrrrrrm... vodka."
Copper: "You shouldn't be drinking that, give it here."
Ben tried the sneaky snake tactic he'd used yesterday. in Mr Higginbotham's lesson.
Ben: "No, not yours."
Eventually he handed it over, after much persuasion, being asked if he wanted to spend the night in a police cell. He was then told to get out of his sight.
Copper: "Get out my sight."
Ben : "Can I just tell you one thing, yeah? You're a sound guy, and if I ever insulted you, yeah? I didn't mean it."
Copper: "Get out my sight."
Ben: "Or your family too."
Copper: "Now."
Ben: "K."
He got back on his bike, started to ride, straight into the nearest tree, went over his handle bars and went "owwwww."
Was ace.
I found out Shawn Hughes had been expelled, and then Ben passed out in his pisseded state, and shivered, so I lent him my hoody cos I'm nice. I then missed my bus, so I slept at Amy's, and we learnt about rising oil prices and watched Jackass throw cricket balls at each other crotch area.
Saturday, we lazed because of lack of sleep.
Sunday, fuck all, but I witnessed an argument between Jake and his Dad. We couldn't arrange a piss-up in a brewery apparantely.
In a few hours I get to see Boysetsfire, you wouldn't believe how long I have waited. Should be good.
Late.x