Just need to get this all out
I feel like I'm angry, frustrated, and annoyed by the rest of the world. Everywhere I look in my house, it's dusty, dirty, cluttered, or something needs fixing. My kids are making me crazy. Last night, Owen woke up once an hour almost the entire night. He's teething, and it appears to be all the molars at once. Elliot is just in push-and-test-my-parents mode more often than not. Carl, bless his heart, is trying to help, but I even find myself irritated with him too.
The rain is not making any of this easier. The kids can't go outside as often. My garden is not in very good shape--a couple of really big storms knocked my popcorn down and there are slugs eating my tomatoes. I'd put beer out to kill the slugs, but it keeps raining, so the beer just gets washed away.
We are currently in the middle of trying to find a new babysitter since our current one is starting nursing school soon. Gah.
I have a mole that my dermatologist says is likely basal cell carcinoma. I was supposed to find out the results of the biopsy yesterday, but she never called. I'm worried and stressed about it, wondering if I'm going to find out that I didn't catch it soon enough. After all, I had my GP look at it years ago and she said there was nothing going on. I didn't totally believe her, but since she's a doctor and I'm not, I took her word for it. I hope I won't be sorry I did that.
I turn on the radio or TV, and all I hear/see is global-climate-change-this and war-in-Iraq that. I am so pissed that we're fucking up this world so badly. I feel like there's nothing I can do that won't ruin the world further.
And then there's the post on Craigslist that I saw the other day, where the poster (who was not even a parent, much less a parent of an autistic child) said she believed that TV exposure is causing the rise in autism, which set my blood to boil. We were very careful about the amount of TV Elliot watched as a toddler. I'm sure that that's not why he's autistic. I don't know, it just really rubbed me the wrong way. I firmly believe that he didn't get autism because we vaccinated him, either. I wish that people could keep their opinions on this subject to themselves.
And why the hell isn't my zoloft helping? Do I really have to up my dosage again? I have a feeling that the answer is that I need to go back to my shrink, but I just don't know where I could possibly get the time to do it.
Fuck the world. That's how I feel right now.
I need a vacation, and bad.
The rain is not making any of this easier. The kids can't go outside as often. My garden is not in very good shape--a couple of really big storms knocked my popcorn down and there are slugs eating my tomatoes. I'd put beer out to kill the slugs, but it keeps raining, so the beer just gets washed away.
We are currently in the middle of trying to find a new babysitter since our current one is starting nursing school soon. Gah.
I have a mole that my dermatologist says is likely basal cell carcinoma. I was supposed to find out the results of the biopsy yesterday, but she never called. I'm worried and stressed about it, wondering if I'm going to find out that I didn't catch it soon enough. After all, I had my GP look at it years ago and she said there was nothing going on. I didn't totally believe her, but since she's a doctor and I'm not, I took her word for it. I hope I won't be sorry I did that.
I turn on the radio or TV, and all I hear/see is global-climate-change-this and war-in-Iraq that. I am so pissed that we're fucking up this world so badly. I feel like there's nothing I can do that won't ruin the world further.
And then there's the post on Craigslist that I saw the other day, where the poster (who was not even a parent, much less a parent of an autistic child) said she believed that TV exposure is causing the rise in autism, which set my blood to boil. We were very careful about the amount of TV Elliot watched as a toddler. I'm sure that that's not why he's autistic. I don't know, it just really rubbed me the wrong way. I firmly believe that he didn't get autism because we vaccinated him, either. I wish that people could keep their opinions on this subject to themselves.
And why the hell isn't my zoloft helping? Do I really have to up my dosage again? I have a feeling that the answer is that I need to go back to my shrink, but I just don't know where I could possibly get the time to do it.
Fuck the world. That's how I feel right now.
I need a vacation, and bad.