Anime night.
I am not very happy with our current system. Doing the math - 6 hours = 360 minutes. At 20-30 minutes an episode, if each person chooses 2 episodes, that should be 40-60 minutes a person. That's 6-9 people's worth of anime, and we got through 3 tonight.
That is not the issue. The issue is that I have been trying to show Haibane Renmei for 2 years and have failed. The point of showing Haibane Renmei is not to watch it myself - I can do that however much I want at home. The point is to share it with other people. I have an intense emotional attachment to the series, so not being able to share it makes me react in more intense and less rational ways. I understand this. I understand that my problems with anime night exist solely within me, and that the bulk of the anime night participants simply approach anime night in a very different way that how I approach it.
I want people to understand that I understand this is entirely my issue, my fault. I am taking full responsibility for my unhappiness.
There are three basic ways, as I see it, to try and cope with this. One is to try and change the external influence. The "everyone have two episodes ahead of time picked out" thing was an attempt towards that. It obviously didn't work. Even granting that Kelsey's selection was 90 minutes long, we watched 200 minutes of anime, out of the 360 minutes set aside. That's not so good, more than two hours wasted. So I could try to strengthen this. Put a bunch of numbers in a pot - everyone there within the first half hour takes a number, and people are ordered that way. Everyone arriving after 6:30 gets added to the end of the "batting order". People can voluntarilly self-exempt - that is, decide not to draw a number.
That is a way to strengthen the process, and possibly change the outside influences. It would make me feel less self-conscious about asserting myself in an attempt to watch Haibane. That would help. It would also, I think, turn off a lot of the particpants. I will try and broach the issue to the list, and see what kind of feedback I get.
The second option is to try and learn to live with the way people are and the way anime night is. The third option is to simply stop attending. Both of those will require a lot of thinking before I make a decision. Essentially, that question boils down to whether I think my reaction is an actual problem; if it is not, I need to decide whether I value my individuality more, or the social contact more. The tragedy of individuality; the hedgehogs dilemma.
It feels good to actually get this out.
That is not the issue. The issue is that I have been trying to show Haibane Renmei for 2 years and have failed. The point of showing Haibane Renmei is not to watch it myself - I can do that however much I want at home. The point is to share it with other people. I have an intense emotional attachment to the series, so not being able to share it makes me react in more intense and less rational ways. I understand this. I understand that my problems with anime night exist solely within me, and that the bulk of the anime night participants simply approach anime night in a very different way that how I approach it.
I want people to understand that I understand this is entirely my issue, my fault. I am taking full responsibility for my unhappiness.
There are three basic ways, as I see it, to try and cope with this. One is to try and change the external influence. The "everyone have two episodes ahead of time picked out" thing was an attempt towards that. It obviously didn't work. Even granting that Kelsey's selection was 90 minutes long, we watched 200 minutes of anime, out of the 360 minutes set aside. That's not so good, more than two hours wasted. So I could try to strengthen this. Put a bunch of numbers in a pot - everyone there within the first half hour takes a number, and people are ordered that way. Everyone arriving after 6:30 gets added to the end of the "batting order". People can voluntarilly self-exempt - that is, decide not to draw a number.
That is a way to strengthen the process, and possibly change the outside influences. It would make me feel less self-conscious about asserting myself in an attempt to watch Haibane. That would help. It would also, I think, turn off a lot of the particpants. I will try and broach the issue to the list, and see what kind of feedback I get.
The second option is to try and learn to live with the way people are and the way anime night is. The third option is to simply stop attending. Both of those will require a lot of thinking before I make a decision. Essentially, that question boils down to whether I think my reaction is an actual problem; if it is not, I need to decide whether I value my individuality more, or the social contact more. The tragedy of individuality; the hedgehogs dilemma.
It feels good to actually get this out.