Random boredom if you couldn't tell
comedic phrases for the past week:
Jan 2-7
"In California, a beer is being sold called the Governator in honor of Arnold Schwarzenegger. Apparently, after six of them you start to talk like Arnold."- Conan O Brien
Would any of you be as scare as me if you walked in a bar and everyone was talking like him? I'd think I lost it.
"If you want to know the truth, I blame the microwave for most of our problems. Anything that gets food that hot without fire is from the devil. If you don't believe me, put a Hot Pocket in your microwave for 3 or 4 minutes, then pop that thing in your mouth. If that's not hell, my friend, I don't know what is."- Ellen DeGeneres
"A good man just doesn't just happen. They have to be created by us women....So, first you gotta get rid of all the stuff his mom did to him. And then you gotta get rid of all that macho crap that they pick up from beer commercials." - Roseanne Barr
lol, I know some of my friends like that last quote
"Marriage should be like the mafia--once you're in, you're in. Ban divorce. The murder rate would go up, but the institution of marriage would be strong and healthy."- Wanda Sykes
"It was reported that on her upcoming tour, Madonna will include a dance number that will reenact battle scenes to illustrate the tragedy of war. Madonna will also wear a camouflage bikini top to illustrate the tragedy of time."- Tina Fey
"A homeless guy came up to me on the street, said he hadn't eaten in four days. I told him, "Man, I wish I had your willpower.""- Rodney Dangerfield
The last one I find pretty stupid but eh well thought I share them all.
Jan 2-7
"In California, a beer is being sold called the Governator in honor of Arnold Schwarzenegger. Apparently, after six of them you start to talk like Arnold."- Conan O Brien
Would any of you be as scare as me if you walked in a bar and everyone was talking like him? I'd think I lost it.
"If you want to know the truth, I blame the microwave for most of our problems. Anything that gets food that hot without fire is from the devil. If you don't believe me, put a Hot Pocket in your microwave for 3 or 4 minutes, then pop that thing in your mouth. If that's not hell, my friend, I don't know what is."- Ellen DeGeneres
"A good man just doesn't just happen. They have to be created by us women....So, first you gotta get rid of all the stuff his mom did to him. And then you gotta get rid of all that macho crap that they pick up from beer commercials." - Roseanne Barr
lol, I know some of my friends like that last quote
"Marriage should be like the mafia--once you're in, you're in. Ban divorce. The murder rate would go up, but the institution of marriage would be strong and healthy."- Wanda Sykes
"It was reported that on her upcoming tour, Madonna will include a dance number that will reenact battle scenes to illustrate the tragedy of war. Madonna will also wear a camouflage bikini top to illustrate the tragedy of time."- Tina Fey
"A homeless guy came up to me on the street, said he hadn't eaten in four days. I told him, "Man, I wish I had your willpower.""- Rodney Dangerfield
The last one I find pretty stupid but eh well thought I share them all.