i need a time machine and common sense
I can’t fucking believe this. I made a conscious effort this weekend not to drink. Basically because I am a horrible drunk who can’t stop myself from saying things I really don’t mean and really don’t want to say. Sober things got even worse, to a depth I am unsure I can even begin to climb out of.
Yes Nick and Dan will tell me tomorrow that it doesn’t matter what I say, who cares? I would like to be able to walk out side of my room without having someone see me and be pissed of at me. I would like to be able to visit the few people on the second floor who would not like me dead. Quite frankly I would rather that right now they thought nothing of me instead of hating me.
The worst part is that it makes no sense what I do when I am drunk. It isn’t something I would say when I am sober. When I am sober I think nothing of the sort. I t is just crazy shit that pops into my head when I am drunk because I know it will piss someone off. And the only reason I say it is because I am a stupid prick.
I am sitting here listening to my roommate on the phone talk\ yell at Pam, his girlfirend. He is saying some very mean things to this girl. I fucking hate myself for being like this.
Yes Nick and Dan will tell me tomorrow that it doesn’t matter what I say, who cares? I would like to be able to walk out side of my room without having someone see me and be pissed of at me. I would like to be able to visit the few people on the second floor who would not like me dead. Quite frankly I would rather that right now they thought nothing of me instead of hating me.
The worst part is that it makes no sense what I do when I am drunk. It isn’t something I would say when I am sober. When I am sober I think nothing of the sort. I t is just crazy shit that pops into my head when I am drunk because I know it will piss someone off. And the only reason I say it is because I am a stupid prick.
I am sitting here listening to my roommate on the phone talk\ yell at Pam, his girlfirend. He is saying some very mean things to this girl. I fucking hate myself for being like this.