3 years ago. maybe i was happy...or maybe i just wasnt sober for a year
OCTOBER 23rd 2005
loong weekend. actually just one insanely long night. a nightthat leads me to nights like this- sitting at home watching CHARMED on the WB.
feelling weird and restless this weekend. frusterated that it takes me about an hour longerthan everyone else to finsih a meal or even a snack...that i can only eat baby food and other food that dissinegrates easily. i have no idea how to fucking spell that word. but so everyonetold me not to get dry socketS so i got one. it hurt...but now the cavity i have on the other side of my mouth does. whoopeee
this girl friom oside that goes to school with me called me this weekend. she was with another kid named steven who thought it'd be a smart idea in the middle of on'es saturday night to call them up and remind them of how cool their friend was who killed himself. yeah man, he was aweseom...too bad we'll never see him again.
oh yeah. found out this kid i used to chill with when i hung out with huff back in the day is dead now. wow. news was broken amazingly- god i love my friends on drugs
getting pulled deeper into the world of needed drugs to keep going. give me something to alter my state of being cu reality is sucha turn off. speaking of which what makes boys think they ncan hiook up with you your friends or your sisters with the other one's already been hoooked up with. sketchy to me. kate's right though- it seems like you can't trust anyone they always have alterior motives. girls are just way craftier.
a boy yesterday told me i'd have an amazing singing voice and he wanted to hear my stuff. i'm flattered. however my voice is a crap hole plus cigarrettes. so i dont see anything of the musical sort happeneing in my future. except for broadway. me. wicked. elphaba. i'd shit my pants
the closer i get to feeling confrotable at this lousy school- the further i feel from home. i dont even regisetr on people's party plots cuz no ones knows when im in town. i like it better that way though. im sick of being a towny. i still need another more part time LMU boyfriend though. someone to occupy my time a bit more thouroughly. although i think im starting to take some dance clasess on the weekends. and im going to make more of an effort to buckle down and get work down. last year i got an ipod mini for goo dgrades. maybe this year ill get something else engraved with "star student"
my friend's dad died this week out of the blue. and i havent figured out how to react. i want to talk to him so bad. but i feel like anything i say will be the wrong thing. im most likely right.
ahh still so restless, wondering whatto do with myself craving a cigarette and maybe a bit of LA action. hung out with ronson last night and today.
i went to the goofy v. regular skate contest and had fun with ronson for the first time in a while, it was like we were going out again. and then we saw bijan. and i felt awkward. and i kind of wishes i was holding bijans hand. but then i remembered the lack of penis he has haha. and ew then i saw justin who was wearing no underwear of course and had a hole across the butt of his jeans....guhhh if he wants to be bijan so bad he shoud practice being hot and not scum.
kate lost her hat and i lost my scarf this weekend- we should really meet more responsible people to look out for us.
word of the weekend is beak. if i heear you say it you get shot
i love you all. i have nothing else to say surprisingly
oh yeah
I AM AMAZING you love me
more ways to be cool on an LMU holiday weekend [Oct. 23rd, 2005|10:25 pm]
*get drunk and ask friends to hit you in the face
*have your jaw wired shut
*say beak
*be way too young for the coolest girls ever
*make out with youre friend's ex's
*try to hold their hands
*yell at little boys
*climb through hotel vents
*put pretzels in the baby's ass
*burn bibles
*set off the smoke alarm
*jump off the hotel balcony into the pool
*throw the remote in the pool
*get ugly within 4 hours
*have a big fourhead
*make friends with the girl who's ex bf youve been trying to fuck
*say beak 5 times fast
*dance to B. Spears
*be old fat and bald
*drive a purple mini van
*yell at little girls from your purple minivan
*poke needles through your skin even when not injecting drugs
*say "you're really pisses me off right now" to everyone
*eat cake with skeleton hands
*share with me and kate
*say beak again for good measure
*carry little gilrs around
*fall down on top of them
*wonder later who it was that fucked you up
*try to fight the cement
*break into other hotel rooms
*fuck shit up
*fall asleep wit your hand in an ice bucket
*sleep in your car
*adopt a new older sister
*smoke all your cigs
*forget
*blame your life problems on J cotton III
*don't shower between thursday and sunday
*eat the tops of pizza
*complain about gas endlessly
*say beak beak beaken beakers
*make a stupid internet list
loong weekend. actually just one insanely long night. a nightthat leads me to nights like this- sitting at home watching CHARMED on the WB.
feelling weird and restless this weekend. frusterated that it takes me about an hour longerthan everyone else to finsih a meal or even a snack...that i can only eat baby food and other food that dissinegrates easily. i have no idea how to fucking spell that word. but so everyonetold me not to get dry socketS so i got one. it hurt...but now the cavity i have on the other side of my mouth does. whoopeee
this girl friom oside that goes to school with me called me this weekend. she was with another kid named steven who thought it'd be a smart idea in the middle of on'es saturday night to call them up and remind them of how cool their friend was who killed himself. yeah man, he was aweseom...too bad we'll never see him again.
oh yeah. found out this kid i used to chill with when i hung out with huff back in the day is dead now. wow. news was broken amazingly- god i love my friends on drugs
getting pulled deeper into the world of needed drugs to keep going. give me something to alter my state of being cu reality is sucha turn off. speaking of which what makes boys think they ncan hiook up with you your friends or your sisters with the other one's already been hoooked up with. sketchy to me. kate's right though- it seems like you can't trust anyone they always have alterior motives. girls are just way craftier.
a boy yesterday told me i'd have an amazing singing voice and he wanted to hear my stuff. i'm flattered. however my voice is a crap hole plus cigarrettes. so i dont see anything of the musical sort happeneing in my future. except for broadway. me. wicked. elphaba. i'd shit my pants
the closer i get to feeling confrotable at this lousy school- the further i feel from home. i dont even regisetr on people's party plots cuz no ones knows when im in town. i like it better that way though. im sick of being a towny. i still need another more part time LMU boyfriend though. someone to occupy my time a bit more thouroughly. although i think im starting to take some dance clasess on the weekends. and im going to make more of an effort to buckle down and get work down. last year i got an ipod mini for goo dgrades. maybe this year ill get something else engraved with "star student"
my friend's dad died this week out of the blue. and i havent figured out how to react. i want to talk to him so bad. but i feel like anything i say will be the wrong thing. im most likely right.
ahh still so restless, wondering whatto do with myself craving a cigarette and maybe a bit of LA action. hung out with ronson last night and today.
i went to the goofy v. regular skate contest and had fun with ronson for the first time in a while, it was like we were going out again. and then we saw bijan. and i felt awkward. and i kind of wishes i was holding bijans hand. but then i remembered the lack of penis he has haha. and ew then i saw justin who was wearing no underwear of course and had a hole across the butt of his jeans....guhhh if he wants to be bijan so bad he shoud practice being hot and not scum.
kate lost her hat and i lost my scarf this weekend- we should really meet more responsible people to look out for us.
word of the weekend is beak. if i heear you say it you get shot
i love you all. i have nothing else to say surprisingly
oh yeah
I AM AMAZING you love me
more ways to be cool on an LMU holiday weekend [Oct. 23rd, 2005|10:25 pm]
*get drunk and ask friends to hit you in the face
*have your jaw wired shut
*say beak
*be way too young for the coolest girls ever
*make out with youre friend's ex's
*try to hold their hands
*yell at little boys
*climb through hotel vents
*put pretzels in the baby's ass
*burn bibles
*set off the smoke alarm
*jump off the hotel balcony into the pool
*throw the remote in the pool
*get ugly within 4 hours
*have a big fourhead
*make friends with the girl who's ex bf youve been trying to fuck
*say beak 5 times fast
*dance to B. Spears
*be old fat and bald
*drive a purple mini van
*yell at little girls from your purple minivan
*poke needles through your skin even when not injecting drugs
*say "you're really pisses me off right now" to everyone
*eat cake with skeleton hands
*share with me and kate
*say beak again for good measure
*carry little gilrs around
*fall down on top of them
*wonder later who it was that fucked you up
*try to fight the cement
*break into other hotel rooms
*fuck shit up
*fall asleep wit your hand in an ice bucket
*sleep in your car
*adopt a new older sister
*smoke all your cigs
*forget
*blame your life problems on J cotton III
*don't shower between thursday and sunday
*eat the tops of pizza
*complain about gas endlessly
*say beak beak beaken beakers
*make a stupid internet list