Zsenya's REAL Diary
Dear MoonBoy,
Only you understand me. My so-called "friends" are really getting on my nerves. I was sitting in the library today, trying to work on Chapter 29 of After the End. I had just done something phenomenal...
AROOOOO!
Heh, you always know how to make me feel better, MoonBoy. Anyway, I had just written a THREE-SENTENCE PARAGRAPH!!!
AROOOOO!
I know! Arabella had stomped into my bedroom last week with her 87 pages, and instructed me to write the "middle eight" a la Lennon and McCartney. So I sat down with it, but it was pretty difficult. I mean, people have their tongues down each other's throats immediately before my scene and immediately after, and no one is really going to care if Norbert gets hungry out at Azkaban and eats Mordor and Mick. They'll just be like "Oh no! Harry must be so upset about Norbert! When is Ginny going to molest him and make him feel better???! MORE SEXXXXXX!!!"
AROOOOO! AROOOOO! AR! AR! AROOOOO!!!
I don't *know* if Sirius is there. Shut up.
So, anyway, I had written my one paragraph - my ONE paragraph. Get it? Heh. That'll never stop being funny. Anyway, when Arabella comes in the library, muttering, and clasping an empty flask of vodka. Now, how can I concentrate when she's doing that? If the dragons in this chapter all make strange moaning noises and mutter, you'll know where I got my inspiration.
AROOOOO!
Yeah, for once, it's not from you.
And THEN, when I woke up this morning, there were three VOLUMES more of After the End. I don't know how she does it. I mean, she kept me up all night with her snorting and giggling. Maybe JK Rowling really DOES come to her in a dream. I had a dream that my not-mother-in-law tried to cook paper in her microwave yesterday. The smell was terrible. Why can't *I* dream about Ron and Hermione making out under the bleachers at a Sticklebats game?
WHY? WHY? WHY?
AROOOOOooooooo!
Ew! That's sweet, MoonBoy, but I told you not to try to virtually lick me through the diary. It just makes the ink run. And I'm still not talking to B. ROSE IS AN ESTJ. Her whole theory and program is WHAXED. If 30% of the population are supposedly ESTJs, then why does it wig out if there's one in a Harry Potter fan fiction? Next, she'll have redesigned the longitude lines on earth into 16 equal parts and stuck the entire population in the different regions according to personality type. Can you imagine? My idea of HELL. 87 million ESTJs in one place. I expect we'd spend most of our time standing on the border laughing at the INFPs as their whole society crumbled within a matter of days because they, you know, forgot to turn on the electricity generators or ended up starving to death because in truth, TALKING to plants only gets them so far when you have fields full of crops.
AR! AR! AR! AR!
I don't know. She's never bothered to personality type Remus or Sirius. Remus is VERY practical though. I'm sure he'd get a good rating.
Elanor Gamgee Elanor Gamgee Elanor Gamgee Elanor Gamgee
I think that's enough to make her feel loved, don't you? She hasn't quite forgiven me for not making it through "The Two Towers", even though I told her I really like the Ents. I DO want to see the movie, but mainly because I think Viggo Mortenson would make a good Sirius, don't you?
I've got to get ready to go down to the kitchens. If it weren't for me.... The rest of my "friends" seem to think that living off of Nutter Butters and onion dip will somehow sustain them. Moey and Jedi will be pissed, but I am going to put some fruit and vegetables in the fridge this morning, just to freax them out.
AROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
I love you too, MoonBoy.
Only you understand me. My so-called "friends" are really getting on my nerves. I was sitting in the library today, trying to work on Chapter 29 of After the End. I had just done something phenomenal...
AROOOOO!
Heh, you always know how to make me feel better, MoonBoy. Anyway, I had just written a THREE-SENTENCE PARAGRAPH!!!
AROOOOO!
I know! Arabella had stomped into my bedroom last week with her 87 pages, and instructed me to write the "middle eight" a la Lennon and McCartney. So I sat down with it, but it was pretty difficult. I mean, people have their tongues down each other's throats immediately before my scene and immediately after, and no one is really going to care if Norbert gets hungry out at Azkaban and eats Mordor and Mick. They'll just be like "Oh no! Harry must be so upset about Norbert! When is Ginny going to molest him and make him feel better???! MORE SEXXXXXX!!!"
AROOOOO! AROOOOO! AR! AR! AROOOOO!!!
I don't *know* if Sirius is there. Shut up.
So, anyway, I had written my one paragraph - my ONE paragraph. Get it? Heh. That'll never stop being funny. Anyway, when Arabella comes in the library, muttering, and clasping an empty flask of vodka. Now, how can I concentrate when she's doing that? If the dragons in this chapter all make strange moaning noises and mutter, you'll know where I got my inspiration.
AROOOOO!
Yeah, for once, it's not from you.
And THEN, when I woke up this morning, there were three VOLUMES more of After the End. I don't know how she does it. I mean, she kept me up all night with her snorting and giggling. Maybe JK Rowling really DOES come to her in a dream. I had a dream that my not-mother-in-law tried to cook paper in her microwave yesterday. The smell was terrible. Why can't *I* dream about Ron and Hermione making out under the bleachers at a Sticklebats game?
WHY? WHY? WHY?
AROOOOOooooooo!
Ew! That's sweet, MoonBoy, but I told you not to try to virtually lick me through the diary. It just makes the ink run. And I'm still not talking to B. ROSE IS AN ESTJ. Her whole theory and program is WHAXED. If 30% of the population are supposedly ESTJs, then why does it wig out if there's one in a Harry Potter fan fiction? Next, she'll have redesigned the longitude lines on earth into 16 equal parts and stuck the entire population in the different regions according to personality type. Can you imagine? My idea of HELL. 87 million ESTJs in one place. I expect we'd spend most of our time standing on the border laughing at the INFPs as their whole society crumbled within a matter of days because they, you know, forgot to turn on the electricity generators or ended up starving to death because in truth, TALKING to plants only gets them so far when you have fields full of crops.
AR! AR! AR! AR!
I don't know. She's never bothered to personality type Remus or Sirius. Remus is VERY practical though. I'm sure he'd get a good rating.
Elanor Gamgee Elanor Gamgee Elanor Gamgee Elanor Gamgee
I think that's enough to make her feel loved, don't you? She hasn't quite forgiven me for not making it through "The Two Towers", even though I told her I really like the Ents. I DO want to see the movie, but mainly because I think Viggo Mortenson would make a good Sirius, don't you?
I've got to get ready to go down to the kitchens. If it weren't for me.... The rest of my "friends" seem to think that living off of Nutter Butters and onion dip will somehow sustain them. Moey and Jedi will be pissed, but I am going to put some fruit and vegetables in the fridge this morning, just to freax them out.
AROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
I love you too, MoonBoy.