Pathetic.

[wood_the_keeper]

Never in my life have I seen such a sorry excuse for a Quidditch team. You paid me to come out here and whip you into shape, and by Merlin that's what I'm going to do! You whine and moan and complain about a tiny bit of practice and dare to call yourselves professionals?? We're not baking cakes here, you sad lot of whingers - we are playing QUIDDITCH. And we are going to WIN the match tomorrow if I have to personally beat every single one of you into the ground to do it. We've got the best side in this League, damned if we don't, and I will not accept excuses for bollocky flying OR shoddy attitude. Cut your groaning and face your sport like a man - all of you! There WILL be a six am practice, and a broom inspection to boot! If I find out that any of you are still using that craxleberry polish you won't need a Bludger to knock out your teeth - that goes triple for you, Jedi, after that fiasco at today's practice! And if I find even a SLIVER of ONE more BILLYWIG stinger, I am putting the whole team through a Cleansing Regime at the Salem Center for Sorcerous Addictions. There'll be no giggling on MY watch!

SIX AM!!!!!

I'll be casting Summoning Charms and your sorry arses at 6:01.

We WILL win. I'm taking the Sticklebats all the way to the championships, with or without you.