Well stocked
Everyone brought the loveliest things to my mini-chateau kitchen, and then they left them behind for me to eat and drink. Moey left the chocolate Cheerios, which were delicious and are now all gone. Moey also left the rose wine, which was delicious and is all gone. Moey also left her Elderflower mead, which I have not had time yet to imbibe, but I know it is delicious, and it will soon be all gone. Some other sick individual left two Twix bars in my refrigerator to tempt me. And B Bennett taught me to fry-poach an egg, which is a delicious technique, and then she bought a carton of cage-free eggs, and now the eggs are all gone. There was also a bit of chocolate cake, a bar of dark chocolate, a piece of whoopie pie, and half a bag of Reese's Pieces. They are all gone.
I also had to finish the champagne, because otherwise it would have gone flat, and that's simply not acceptable. And I can't drink three bottles of wine at once (no, not even I can do that), but there are two bottles of red and a bottle of Chocolate Shop left behind that eventually I will be forced to consume so as not to waste anything.
The only person who left anything "healthy" for me was Zsenya, who left a large bag of utterly delightful banana chips. Of course they are delightful. They are shiny and rich with coconut oil. They are not healthy! Zsenya has lied.
Jedi B. is the only one not trying to kill me. All she left was half a bottle of Life Water. Whatever that is. It probably tastes all right with a shot of vodka in.
In conclusion, everyone is gone, and I am depressed, and I have gained nearly 87 pounds in the hours since their departures. Damn them all.
Damn even Dark Ale, Zsenya's regent, who somehow transferred his back pain to me. I don't know how he did it, but it is cruel magic, and now he owes me a beer.
I also had to finish the champagne, because otherwise it would have gone flat, and that's simply not acceptable. And I can't drink three bottles of wine at once (no, not even I can do that), but there are two bottles of red and a bottle of Chocolate Shop left behind that eventually I will be forced to consume so as not to waste anything.
The only person who left anything "healthy" for me was Zsenya, who left a large bag of utterly delightful banana chips. Of course they are delightful. They are shiny and rich with coconut oil. They are not healthy! Zsenya has lied.
Jedi B. is the only one not trying to kill me. All she left was half a bottle of Life Water. Whatever that is. It probably tastes all right with a shot of vodka in.
In conclusion, everyone is gone, and I am depressed, and I have gained nearly 87 pounds in the hours since their departures. Damn them all.
Damn even Dark Ale, Zsenya's regent, who somehow transferred his back pain to me. I don't know how he did it, but it is cruel magic, and now he owes me a beer.