presenting a paper at the psych conference
as i decide to hide under the sheets and regain my confidence, i figured i'll let everyone else know about the hyped presentation pertaining to my dearest research project.
in the same conference room my advisor chris wickens was up first to present yet another paper today. if you need to know how godly he is, practically everyone came up to talk and shake hands with him. should that not be enough picture the whole room packed with attendees and on top of that others stood at the back and right out at the door as though it's a sunday service.
and i was third in line to present. prior to all that i did tons of last minute work, read and re-read the paper, looked through the slides three times over, and all i could hear was my heart beating so fast.
and the room remained full, filled with professors, professionals, NASA scientists, product developers, military personnel, and a sprinkle of graduate students. i was the only undergrad, and i stood before them like any other paper presenter did.
the super undergrad that eventually flawed.
i took a deep breath, and let loose whatever i was suppose to say, at a speed faster than what i wanted it to be. i couldn't hold it, the words just kept wanting to come out and i made all the conscious effort to slow down as and when possible.
and all of a sudden my mind went blank. my mouth just stopped moving. it took me 3 seconds to pick myself up and when i did i stuttered on the next word like a car in a cold winter morning.
grammar was out the window. i spoke like english was a foreign language to me. the passive american accent never came. i felt like a nerve-wreck.
i redeemed myself during the QnA. i spoke like i should and answered with detailed explanations like any other professional. chris, who was ever-ready to rescue me from all the questions, sat there in the front row nodding his head away.
but no matter how many "well done"s or "good job"s thrown at me, my fear got the better of me and while i've conquered yet another milestone in life, i'll need some time to pick myself up.
i'll hide under the sheets alone, for a change. hush.
in the same conference room my advisor chris wickens was up first to present yet another paper today. if you need to know how godly he is, practically everyone came up to talk and shake hands with him. should that not be enough picture the whole room packed with attendees and on top of that others stood at the back and right out at the door as though it's a sunday service.
and i was third in line to present. prior to all that i did tons of last minute work, read and re-read the paper, looked through the slides three times over, and all i could hear was my heart beating so fast.
and the room remained full, filled with professors, professionals, NASA scientists, product developers, military personnel, and a sprinkle of graduate students. i was the only undergrad, and i stood before them like any other paper presenter did.
the super undergrad that eventually flawed.
i took a deep breath, and let loose whatever i was suppose to say, at a speed faster than what i wanted it to be. i couldn't hold it, the words just kept wanting to come out and i made all the conscious effort to slow down as and when possible.
and all of a sudden my mind went blank. my mouth just stopped moving. it took me 3 seconds to pick myself up and when i did i stuttered on the next word like a car in a cold winter morning.
grammar was out the window. i spoke like english was a foreign language to me. the passive american accent never came. i felt like a nerve-wreck.
i redeemed myself during the QnA. i spoke like i should and answered with detailed explanations like any other professional. chris, who was ever-ready to rescue me from all the questions, sat there in the front row nodding his head away.
but no matter how many "well done"s or "good job"s thrown at me, my fear got the better of me and while i've conquered yet another milestone in life, i'll need some time to pick myself up.
i'll hide under the sheets alone, for a change. hush.