(no subject)
we're in the US and i keep wanting to make an entry about it because its wonderful and i want to document everything that i experience, but then i think yeah but who's going to read it? i havent written much of anything in the past year and i dont even know if anyone still has me friended.
so this is making me think about my friends and how lonely i am and whether it's healthy. i was never one to have many close friends but i find myself constantly wanting to talk to other people and get back to the fact that there's really no one apart from one or two friends that i email that i can talk to. this is certainly not healthy and i know that people in relationships tend to get like that, but i really need to make more friends. it's difficult especially when i am this shy and retiring and a hermit and its easier to hide behind a cold facade than open up and make friendships that last. i especially realised that in the past few years i've lost all of my male friends, which is a sad fact because i like the company of men. i just feel wrong somehow to have male friends while i have a boyfriend. but i miss them! ive just been a bad friend all around. bad Ana.
so i guess im just going to start posting more and hope that people read and still want to know me. i dont want to get lost in my life again and forget all about the outside world, because one day you wake up and realise you have no one to talk to other than your partner. and that realisation sucks.
so this is making me think about my friends and how lonely i am and whether it's healthy. i was never one to have many close friends but i find myself constantly wanting to talk to other people and get back to the fact that there's really no one apart from one or two friends that i email that i can talk to. this is certainly not healthy and i know that people in relationships tend to get like that, but i really need to make more friends. it's difficult especially when i am this shy and retiring and a hermit and its easier to hide behind a cold facade than open up and make friendships that last. i especially realised that in the past few years i've lost all of my male friends, which is a sad fact because i like the company of men. i just feel wrong somehow to have male friends while i have a boyfriend. but i miss them! ive just been a bad friend all around. bad Ana.
so i guess im just going to start posting more and hope that people read and still want to know me. i dont want to get lost in my life again and forget all about the outside world, because one day you wake up and realise you have no one to talk to other than your partner. and that realisation sucks.