....today....
Today has been a little fucked up. I called steve today to see if he was home so I could bring him the xmas presents. It was a short conversation. He wasn't home but he was doing well, started helping his friend fix cars for work. He sounded very happy and he sounded genuinely happy to hear from me. I didn't get halfway through the conversation before I had tears in my eyes. I guess I didn't realize how much I miss him. It's really heartbreaking to be so in love with someone but know, in your heart, that you do not go together.
I'm trying to write the next chapter of Nightminds right now but I can't really think. I've got a headache. I can't stop thinking about differnt boys in my life and how none of the pieces fit together. People are so fucking inconsiderate. The only male I can trust is my cat Patrick. He's cuddled up next to me now, cleaning his back with his cat food breath.
I think i'm going out on new years. I have no idea. I know there is always an invitation for me with several people I know. But I'm not quite sure if I want to do the party thing this year. Not having someone to kiss just seems depressing. I know there are millions of other people who don't have someone to kiss. But somehow this year: being single and 25........ it's just another turn of the knife. Perhaps I can get too drunk to care. No matter what happens you can be sure I'll report it back to you cold nano bites in cyberspace.
I'm trying to write the next chapter of Nightminds right now but I can't really think. I've got a headache. I can't stop thinking about differnt boys in my life and how none of the pieces fit together. People are so fucking inconsiderate. The only male I can trust is my cat Patrick. He's cuddled up next to me now, cleaning his back with his cat food breath.
I think i'm going out on new years. I have no idea. I know there is always an invitation for me with several people I know. But I'm not quite sure if I want to do the party thing this year. Not having someone to kiss just seems depressing. I know there are millions of other people who don't have someone to kiss. But somehow this year: being single and 25........ it's just another turn of the knife. Perhaps I can get too drunk to care. No matter what happens you can be sure I'll report it back to you cold nano bites in cyberspace.