Where's the love?
This week I decided I'm not sleeping at Moose's house anymore. Christ, so much happened. I could hash through all the events but know this - we did not fight -. There was no fight. For all extensive purposes, this weekend went fine. It was fine. But several things stood out to me on Saturday around 3:42 p.m. that I just could not deal with anymore. So for now sleepovers may still happen but I'm bringing my car so I can leave as soon as I wake up. If he want's to sleep away the entire day and then spend the rest of it eating in front of his computer - that's his choice. But I don't want to be stuck there while this happens.
Yesterday we were watching House M.D. with my dad and I was talking excitedly about the new job (which I start on Dec 8th!!) When Steve busts in asking me how much time off I'd taken in between jobs. Actually I'm out of work from the 27 - 30. Then I only work two days and my last day is the third. So I have thursday, friday, saturday, sunday before I start. Lots of time - right? Well apparently not enough for Mr. Know-it-all. "I really think you should take more time to get everything in order before your new job..." He went on like that for at least a minute or two. I could see my dad seething on the sofa, shooting daggars at him with his eyes.
This morning I was talking to my father more about "the steve situation" as we referr to it in my house. He said he was biting his toung because all he wanted to say was "oh you the boy with no ambtions, no job, no direction is trying to tell my daughter the girl who has a new job and is going back to school career advice."
Needless to say, I'm getting kind of depressed about the situation. I feel sad because I know steve has a problem but he won't adress it and GOD FORBID anyone try to talk to him about it. His damn parents are just coddling him and - - - dammit the whole situation just disgusts me.
So I've decided to pull back. Waaaay back. Not in a vindictive way. But in a way that will preserve my sanity. No more sleepovers, no more waiting for him... nothing. I just can't do it anymore. I still love him very much. Will this lead to us breaking up? Possibly. I just want to take some time right now.
I am sad. But I'm also ok. It's probably because he is my 10th-ish boyfriend (how funny is it that I've lost count?) and i know this isn't the end of my life OR my lovelife. But I am sad because when things were good it was the most amazing wonderful, perfect relationship I've ever been in. I know it's impossible to have that all the time. The honeymoon will end. That is enevetable but what should always be there is a mutual love and respect for your partner.
I'm not sure if that's there anymore.....
Yesterday we were watching House M.D. with my dad and I was talking excitedly about the new job (which I start on Dec 8th!!) When Steve busts in asking me how much time off I'd taken in between jobs. Actually I'm out of work from the 27 - 30. Then I only work two days and my last day is the third. So I have thursday, friday, saturday, sunday before I start. Lots of time - right? Well apparently not enough for Mr. Know-it-all. "I really think you should take more time to get everything in order before your new job..." He went on like that for at least a minute or two. I could see my dad seething on the sofa, shooting daggars at him with his eyes.
This morning I was talking to my father more about "the steve situation" as we referr to it in my house. He said he was biting his toung because all he wanted to say was "oh you the boy with no ambtions, no job, no direction is trying to tell my daughter the girl who has a new job and is going back to school career advice."
Needless to say, I'm getting kind of depressed about the situation. I feel sad because I know steve has a problem but he won't adress it and GOD FORBID anyone try to talk to him about it. His damn parents are just coddling him and - - - dammit the whole situation just disgusts me.
So I've decided to pull back. Waaaay back. Not in a vindictive way. But in a way that will preserve my sanity. No more sleepovers, no more waiting for him... nothing. I just can't do it anymore. I still love him very much. Will this lead to us breaking up? Possibly. I just want to take some time right now.
I am sad. But I'm also ok. It's probably because he is my 10th-ish boyfriend (how funny is it that I've lost count?) and i know this isn't the end of my life OR my lovelife. But I am sad because when things were good it was the most amazing wonderful, perfect relationship I've ever been in. I know it's impossible to have that all the time. The honeymoon will end. That is enevetable but what should always be there is a mutual love and respect for your partner.
I'm not sure if that's there anymore.....