I think ur tractor is hot!?!
It's Tuesday, it's all rainy, and ickie outside, yet I wanna go play in the puddles. :) I am off all day tomorrow from School and work, yet Im freakin' booked all day long..damn that sucks. I gotta make cookies, complete my portfolio, and write a stupid ass paper that Ive been putting off for like a month..LOL..what can I say Im a procastornator.
I told Jase earlier, that Im really ready to go back into my shell and hide away and not talk to ne one again, He told me he'd kick my ass...:) I guess maybe you could say that Im wondering if maybe he's not wanting to marry me because he's afraid of loosing me?!? That may not make sense, but ya know anything is possible. Im still at the stage that Im terrified of Love or even being around it or feeling it. Im still protecting my heart, surrounding it by razor wire so that it can't be harmed. I know that I love Jase and I know that I wanna be with him, but I feel like im forceing him into wanting to marry me....It may just be a me thing, but it's a thought thats been running thru my head the past few days. I know that he loves me, he proved this becaues he didn't give up on me nor did he give up on us..he kept the faith alive...:)
The past few days/weeks Ive done so much thinking that Im not sure how to make everything ok or how to make myself ok. Maybe I should go back to isolation, but thats not fair on me nor is it fair on Jase. I just love him so much, that it scares me to no end. Guess what really bothers me is if he's only marrying me out of a fear of loosing me. Ne whos, Im gonna work on some homework.
I told Jase earlier, that Im really ready to go back into my shell and hide away and not talk to ne one again, He told me he'd kick my ass...:) I guess maybe you could say that Im wondering if maybe he's not wanting to marry me because he's afraid of loosing me?!? That may not make sense, but ya know anything is possible. Im still at the stage that Im terrified of Love or even being around it or feeling it. Im still protecting my heart, surrounding it by razor wire so that it can't be harmed. I know that I love Jase and I know that I wanna be with him, but I feel like im forceing him into wanting to marry me....It may just be a me thing, but it's a thought thats been running thru my head the past few days. I know that he loves me, he proved this becaues he didn't give up on me nor did he give up on us..he kept the faith alive...:)
The past few days/weeks Ive done so much thinking that Im not sure how to make everything ok or how to make myself ok. Maybe I should go back to isolation, but thats not fair on me nor is it fair on Jase. I just love him so much, that it scares me to no end. Guess what really bothers me is if he's only marrying me out of a fear of loosing me. Ne whos, Im gonna work on some homework.