Ill always be right here waiting!!!!
Today is Sunday!! 29 more days til halloween! YAYNESS!!!! Im excited for halloween!!! I have been talking to my mom the past few days bout stuff, and she's actually accepting the fact that Im not going to be here for the rest of my life and that I am my own person. It's actually been pretty interesting!!! I unno, I got like an hour and I gotta leave for work which sucks majorly. I decided today that I am ugly so I did my nails...and well now they are alot longer then they were, but hey!!! I feel like a cat!!! WOOOOOOHHHHOOOOOO!!!
I have been haveing really werid dreams lately....I dreamt that it's my wedding...and Im not the bride...and I saw Jase leave infront of me. I woke up bawling my eyes out yesterday morning! Then last night I recieved a threat at work, and when I went home and made it to bed, I dreamt that I died, but no body missed me or even noticed I was gone. Its like life didn't even stop for a second. It was just so real........ The only thing I have left...was taken from me. I don't think I could life without Jase in my life, maybe thats wut my dreams are telling me, I dunno..but they are freakin me out. Jase is the first guy I haven't cheated on, and he's the first guy that has ever truely loved me...and that Ive fully trusted! I unno..guess maybe it's life.
I have finally admited to myself, and my family that Im stuck in depression! Ive lost my grip on life, and everything else. Only thing that I haven't lost is Jase. Its like I told my mom next weekend im off, Im leaving!!! No and if buts bout it, Im gone. Also told her if I could afford my own insurance, I'd already be gone. She told me that I can't run away from wuts bothering me, b/c its still gonna be there hitting me in the face. I know that she's right, but I belong with Jase, not here!!! As long as he wants me there..that is where I belong!!! I belong with the one I love....not here where all i have is family and my bitch...which is leaving me ne ways!
I love him being protective of me, I love him listening, I love him voiceing his opinion...I just love everything bout him...except when he doesn't shave..that bugs me!!! ;) but I love him!!!! Im glad hes in my life!!!!
I have been haveing really werid dreams lately....I dreamt that it's my wedding...and Im not the bride...and I saw Jase leave infront of me. I woke up bawling my eyes out yesterday morning! Then last night I recieved a threat at work, and when I went home and made it to bed, I dreamt that I died, but no body missed me or even noticed I was gone. Its like life didn't even stop for a second. It was just so real........ The only thing I have left...was taken from me. I don't think I could life without Jase in my life, maybe thats wut my dreams are telling me, I dunno..but they are freakin me out. Jase is the first guy I haven't cheated on, and he's the first guy that has ever truely loved me...and that Ive fully trusted! I unno..guess maybe it's life.
I have finally admited to myself, and my family that Im stuck in depression! Ive lost my grip on life, and everything else. Only thing that I haven't lost is Jase. Its like I told my mom next weekend im off, Im leaving!!! No and if buts bout it, Im gone. Also told her if I could afford my own insurance, I'd already be gone. She told me that I can't run away from wuts bothering me, b/c its still gonna be there hitting me in the face. I know that she's right, but I belong with Jase, not here!!! As long as he wants me there..that is where I belong!!! I belong with the one I love....not here where all i have is family and my bitch...which is leaving me ne ways!
I love him being protective of me, I love him listening, I love him voiceing his opinion...I just love everything bout him...except when he doesn't shave..that bugs me!!! ;) but I love him!!!! Im glad hes in my life!!!!