I was going through old e-mails and found this:

[spyderspindle]

WHAT NOT TO SAY TO A POLICE OFFICER! ~~~
> >> >
> >> > 1. I can't reach my license unless you
> >> > hold my beer. (OK in Texas)
> >> >
> >> > 2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my
> >> > radar detector wasn't plugged in.
> >> >
> >> > 3. Aren't you the guy from the Village
> >> > People?
> >> >
> >> > 4. Hey, you must've been doin' about
> >> > 125 mph to keep up with me.
> >> > Good job!
> >> >
> >> > 5. Are You Andy or Barney?
> >> >
> >> > 6. I thought you had to be in
> >> > relatively good physical condition
> >> > to be a police officer.
> >> >
> >> > 7. You're not gonna check the trunk,
> >> > are you?
> >> >
> >> > 8. I pay your salary!
> >> >
> >> > 9. Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The
> >> > last officer only gave me a warning, too!
> >> >
> >> > 10. Do you know why you pulled me over?
> >> > Okay, just so one of us does.
> >> >
> >> > 11. I wa! ! s trying to keep up with
> >> > traffic. Yes, I know there are
> >> > no other cars around. That's how far ahead of me
> >> > they are.
> >> >
> >> > 12. When the Officer says "Gee
> >> > Son....Your eyes look red, have
> >> > you been drinking?" You probably shouldn't
> >> > respond with,"Gee Officer your eyes
> >> > look glazed, have you been eating
> >> > doughnuts?"

Thought we could all use a laugh!