new year, new life
i write this entry
it is my last
this past year
has gone to fast
a new year for others
a new life for me
it took all this time
for me to finally see
i sit here today
eyes full of tears
trying to forget
the painful last years
ive watched as my kingdom
all fell apart
im glad it did
i still have my heart
I start this week
with regret on my mind
regret for loving thoose
with nothing to find
i have great people
on my side
with them i am comfortable
and dont have to hide
i dont have to worry
about them telling lies
instead we can love eachother
under the nights dark sky
these people i speak of
are the greatest people of all
they where there to help me
and to make sure i dont fall
yesterday we met
and tommorow we finally run away
all of us laughing
as we finally get the fuck out of carriage way
```````
wow guys.. what a year huh.. im not going to get to deep with it or anything but no matter how shitty it was for me, no matter how many of my good/best friends fucked me over, no matter how many times i cried, got to fucked up, wished i was dead, was abused and used, lied to, betrayed, ignored, let down.. now matter how much of anything.. i am glad it happened.. ive seen everyones true colors.. and i have learned alot about myself.. 2002 was a year of a lot of inner self thinking which has led to me cutting myself off with contact with almost everyone.. i can honestly say that i trust 100%
with out a doubt only two people.. and im sure its not the people anyone thinks it is.. i am not friends with anyone anymore.. and im happy with it, actually i prefer it.. i dont need to be surronded by FAKE people anymore.. im moving out soon.. within 6 weeks.. found a great roomie.. i can tell already.. carreer is changing.. going to nyc in march/april to look for a job bartending, if, i pass bartending school.. this is my last live journal entry under this name.. my new user is sadomasochryst and it will only contain my poetry and comments about my poetry.. anyone is also welcome to email me at sadomasochryst@hotmail.com ... i check it atleast 2 a month... a few messages..
roy.. our time was fun.. your words mean nothing.. you are so last year.
eric.. what a fuckin bitch.. your jaw will get broken
laurie.. wow.. i thought we were tight.. i told you shit i never told anyone else.. you wanted everyone to be real.. and you never where.. you are a liar and should not be trusted.. you are a cheat.. and you are a WHORE.. the only thing i have to say about this past two weeks is this.. i am like a rose.. as pretty as i am if you touch me the wrong wy you will bleed.. which you will..
steph.. i thank you for not disrespecting my journals and i also thank you for encouraging me to get them published.. when i do i will send you a copy.. until then pretend like i dont exist
tom and amanda - with our forces combined we will destroy everything.. thanks for being real.. together we make a patwhich...
thats it.. more than welcome to email me.. i would like everyones snail mail address.. i am moving and would like to atleast write and recieve letteres a few times a year.. i leave everything behind me except my shadow
it is my last
this past year
has gone to fast
a new year for others
a new life for me
it took all this time
for me to finally see
i sit here today
eyes full of tears
trying to forget
the painful last years
ive watched as my kingdom
all fell apart
im glad it did
i still have my heart
I start this week
with regret on my mind
regret for loving thoose
with nothing to find
i have great people
on my side
with them i am comfortable
and dont have to hide
i dont have to worry
about them telling lies
instead we can love eachother
under the nights dark sky
these people i speak of
are the greatest people of all
they where there to help me
and to make sure i dont fall
yesterday we met
and tommorow we finally run away
all of us laughing
as we finally get the fuck out of carriage way
```````
wow guys.. what a year huh.. im not going to get to deep with it or anything but no matter how shitty it was for me, no matter how many of my good/best friends fucked me over, no matter how many times i cried, got to fucked up, wished i was dead, was abused and used, lied to, betrayed, ignored, let down.. now matter how much of anything.. i am glad it happened.. ive seen everyones true colors.. and i have learned alot about myself.. 2002 was a year of a lot of inner self thinking which has led to me cutting myself off with contact with almost everyone.. i can honestly say that i trust 100%
with out a doubt only two people.. and im sure its not the people anyone thinks it is.. i am not friends with anyone anymore.. and im happy with it, actually i prefer it.. i dont need to be surronded by FAKE people anymore.. im moving out soon.. within 6 weeks.. found a great roomie.. i can tell already.. carreer is changing.. going to nyc in march/april to look for a job bartending, if, i pass bartending school.. this is my last live journal entry under this name.. my new user is sadomasochryst and it will only contain my poetry and comments about my poetry.. anyone is also welcome to email me at sadomasochryst@hotmail.com ... i check it atleast 2 a month... a few messages..
roy.. our time was fun.. your words mean nothing.. you are so last year.
eric.. what a fuckin bitch.. your jaw will get broken
laurie.. wow.. i thought we were tight.. i told you shit i never told anyone else.. you wanted everyone to be real.. and you never where.. you are a liar and should not be trusted.. you are a cheat.. and you are a WHORE.. the only thing i have to say about this past two weeks is this.. i am like a rose.. as pretty as i am if you touch me the wrong wy you will bleed.. which you will..
steph.. i thank you for not disrespecting my journals and i also thank you for encouraging me to get them published.. when i do i will send you a copy.. until then pretend like i dont exist
tom and amanda - with our forces combined we will destroy everything.. thanks for being real.. together we make a patwhich...
thats it.. more than welcome to email me.. i would like everyones snail mail address.. i am moving and would like to atleast write and recieve letteres a few times a year.. i leave everything behind me except my shadow