So busy.
So, yeah. I'm a lot busier than I would like. I just sat here and thought of a million reasons why everything sucks, because of that. You want to know the reasons?
1. I am not getting the right amount of sleep. Now, I'm not too sleep-deprived, but my body is not getting what it needs to be healthy. This, in turn, affects my back.
2. My back. Those of you that don't know, I've got a degenerative disc in my lower back, and it basically ruins my life. Work sitting plus school sitting, plus maxing myself out every day has a profound affect on my physical happiness. I worry about it all the time and [most of the time] I am thinking about how it's going to act when I choose to become pregnant and have kids. It scares me to death.
3. No time to unwind. Absolutely none. I just typed up a big run-down of my schedule, but really, it wasn't interesting, so you're just going to have to take my word for it.
4. No time to work on myself [other than in class]. I have no time to work on art of ANY kind, writing, drawing, painting, photography [in an art sense, not photography for other people in a documentation sense]. No time to read. Not even any time to study for school.
5. No time to cook. For me, this is a big deal. I'm vegan and I've got an on-going battle with food and cooking and planning my meals is extremely important to me. Whole, good foods are what I center my body around [that and sleep] and if I can't do it, I don't feel like me. I'm just floating.
6. No time to work out. Ah, crapsticks. No time to work out. I'm not exercising. I'm trying to incorporate some small things into my day, but gooooooodddddddddddd I just want to have a stable exercise schedule.
7. No social life. None. I'm starting to "make friends" with my peers in class, but I've got no time to invite them to dinner or movie-nights. On the same note, I don't have any time to spend with people that are already my friends.
8. I MISS MY BOYFRIEND. Holy crap, I miss him. The only times I get to see him are Saturday nights and Sundays - and since we're both INCREDIBLY busy right now, Sunday is also his "get stuff done" day because he only has one day a week for that. He makes my heart beat. The time we spend together is amazing but cut so short because of our circumstances, this month.
So... complain complain complain, right? Well, in an effort to be positive [and I'm always lovingly reminded to stay positive by Brian] I started thinking about all the good things that will come from all this crap and what I get to look forward to, in the future. Ready for positivity??
1. Soon enough, I WILL be able to sleep. I will be able to sleep my right 9 hours a night and I will have the freedom of having enough time to shower EVERY morning.
2. My back is something that can be helped, a little. I'm learning great body mechanics at IPSB right now, and I've been launched into a network of healers that are specifically trained to relieve pain. I learned a few good tricks from one of my instructors, and instead of my back just always being on my mind as pain and how to manage this pain, my back is also on my mind in a preventative medicine type of way. I may not be able to heal it, but I can probably do a lot to stop it from getting worse.
3. Now, the having-no-time-for-anything-thing... there aren't that many positives to it, at all. But I WILL say that when I get to work out, do art, read, and cook again, it will be so, so sweet.
4. I will have friends again, someday! I'll be going to school with these folks for lots of time to come, and I'll be making friends and connections through my business and I WILL have DINNER NIGHTS AND MOVIE NIGHTS. Haha, but I'll be all the way in Corona. I will make friends there. :]
5. Brian Grider is the man I love. When October is over, his schedule will be a lot more clear - and when November is over, I'll have a nice break from school. School will start up again, but come the end of February, we're moving into a beautiful house and will get to sleep with each other every night. He'll be working from home [building out a studio] and soon after that, I'll be working from home and we will get to have lunch together every single day -- aside from all of the other wonderful ways you get to spend time with someone when you live with them. We're in the business of celebrating our love, and seeing each other so sparsely is not conducive to that! Soon enough.
Listen, this is all for a very good reason. I'm working hard on my weekday job and my weekend job so that I can make money. Money allows you to buy things. Money lets you live. It's shitty, but it's true. If I want to get anywhere with my businesses, I've got to put hard work into it. If I want to live in the beautiful house I'll be living in, it will cost money. It's simple - I need to make it, and I am. Going to this school is amazing. I'm learning what I need to learn to be the kind of healer I want to be, and in enough time, I'll have the certificates I need to do what I want to do. It's all for good. All of this busy is for good.
So, you make sacrifices. Working towards the better good. Growing up.
I need to try my best to keep all of these things in mind. There WILL be a time where I'm not spreading myself transparent. There WILL be a time to build a home with Brian. There WILL be a time to breathe.
Just not yet :]
1. I am not getting the right amount of sleep. Now, I'm not too sleep-deprived, but my body is not getting what it needs to be healthy. This, in turn, affects my back.
2. My back. Those of you that don't know, I've got a degenerative disc in my lower back, and it basically ruins my life. Work sitting plus school sitting, plus maxing myself out every day has a profound affect on my physical happiness. I worry about it all the time and [most of the time] I am thinking about how it's going to act when I choose to become pregnant and have kids. It scares me to death.
3. No time to unwind. Absolutely none. I just typed up a big run-down of my schedule, but really, it wasn't interesting, so you're just going to have to take my word for it.
4. No time to work on myself [other than in class]. I have no time to work on art of ANY kind, writing, drawing, painting, photography [in an art sense, not photography for other people in a documentation sense]. No time to read. Not even any time to study for school.
5. No time to cook. For me, this is a big deal. I'm vegan and I've got an on-going battle with food and cooking and planning my meals is extremely important to me. Whole, good foods are what I center my body around [that and sleep] and if I can't do it, I don't feel like me. I'm just floating.
6. No time to work out. Ah, crapsticks. No time to work out. I'm not exercising. I'm trying to incorporate some small things into my day, but gooooooodddddddddddd I just want to have a stable exercise schedule.
7. No social life. None. I'm starting to "make friends" with my peers in class, but I've got no time to invite them to dinner or movie-nights. On the same note, I don't have any time to spend with people that are already my friends.
8. I MISS MY BOYFRIEND. Holy crap, I miss him. The only times I get to see him are Saturday nights and Sundays - and since we're both INCREDIBLY busy right now, Sunday is also his "get stuff done" day because he only has one day a week for that. He makes my heart beat. The time we spend together is amazing but cut so short because of our circumstances, this month.
So... complain complain complain, right? Well, in an effort to be positive [and I'm always lovingly reminded to stay positive by Brian] I started thinking about all the good things that will come from all this crap and what I get to look forward to, in the future. Ready for positivity??
1. Soon enough, I WILL be able to sleep. I will be able to sleep my right 9 hours a night and I will have the freedom of having enough time to shower EVERY morning.
2. My back is something that can be helped, a little. I'm learning great body mechanics at IPSB right now, and I've been launched into a network of healers that are specifically trained to relieve pain. I learned a few good tricks from one of my instructors, and instead of my back just always being on my mind as pain and how to manage this pain, my back is also on my mind in a preventative medicine type of way. I may not be able to heal it, but I can probably do a lot to stop it from getting worse.
3. Now, the having-no-time-for-anything-thing... there aren't that many positives to it, at all. But I WILL say that when I get to work out, do art, read, and cook again, it will be so, so sweet.
4. I will have friends again, someday! I'll be going to school with these folks for lots of time to come, and I'll be making friends and connections through my business and I WILL have DINNER NIGHTS AND MOVIE NIGHTS. Haha, but I'll be all the way in Corona. I will make friends there. :]
5. Brian Grider is the man I love. When October is over, his schedule will be a lot more clear - and when November is over, I'll have a nice break from school. School will start up again, but come the end of February, we're moving into a beautiful house and will get to sleep with each other every night. He'll be working from home [building out a studio] and soon after that, I'll be working from home and we will get to have lunch together every single day -- aside from all of the other wonderful ways you get to spend time with someone when you live with them. We're in the business of celebrating our love, and seeing each other so sparsely is not conducive to that! Soon enough.
Listen, this is all for a very good reason. I'm working hard on my weekday job and my weekend job so that I can make money. Money allows you to buy things. Money lets you live. It's shitty, but it's true. If I want to get anywhere with my businesses, I've got to put hard work into it. If I want to live in the beautiful house I'll be living in, it will cost money. It's simple - I need to make it, and I am. Going to this school is amazing. I'm learning what I need to learn to be the kind of healer I want to be, and in enough time, I'll have the certificates I need to do what I want to do. It's all for good. All of this busy is for good.
So, you make sacrifices. Working towards the better good. Growing up.
I need to try my best to keep all of these things in mind. There WILL be a time where I'm not spreading myself transparent. There WILL be a time to build a home with Brian. There WILL be a time to breathe.
Just not yet :]