My first foray into consensual poly
I think I'm not emotionally mature or sophisticated enough to handle poly.
I told Chem about Yus last weekend in bed after we finally had sex (Chem on the dance floor: "do you want to go home and screw?" - wonderful words). He was fine about it and doesn't subscribe to possessive forms of love, but it doesn't mean he doesn't feel hurt. He is also sporadically sleeping with his ex and I don't mind. The sex is reasonable. He is vanilla but he is dirty. I'm yet to put him through my training programme, but I am seeing him on Saturday to see what he can do. I don't know where this is going and I don't want to be a distraction in these last few crucial months as he prepares to leave his lab.
I saw Yus last night after 3 weeks. At first I didn't know how to react after such a long time. He tied me so I was bent over the back of a chair and he hurt me, then frogtied me and I found that I couldn't take the pain and also couldn't psychologically willow to his will or make eye contact while he was torturing my nipples. His eyes were demonic. It will take time to build up to where we were last time. Its a pity as we were getting so far. Told him about Chem, he said its not fair for him to want me all to himself. So I think we have an arrangement. It was really good to see him. I missed him.
I've never been honest in past relationships because what my mind desired and did would have hurt my partners too much. This new honesty is fragile and difficult. I feel have to be very responsible with all our feelings. Can poly work at the very beginning of new relationships and there are no primary or secondary partnerships as they are both equal?
To go into another fully committed relationship now with one person would defeat the purpose of why I broke up with Luz, however I feel very lucky that I have two wonderful wonderful boys who I don't have to choose between.
I told Chem about Yus last weekend in bed after we finally had sex (Chem on the dance floor: "do you want to go home and screw?" - wonderful words). He was fine about it and doesn't subscribe to possessive forms of love, but it doesn't mean he doesn't feel hurt. He is also sporadically sleeping with his ex and I don't mind. The sex is reasonable. He is vanilla but he is dirty. I'm yet to put him through my training programme, but I am seeing him on Saturday to see what he can do. I don't know where this is going and I don't want to be a distraction in these last few crucial months as he prepares to leave his lab.
I saw Yus last night after 3 weeks. At first I didn't know how to react after such a long time. He tied me so I was bent over the back of a chair and he hurt me, then frogtied me and I found that I couldn't take the pain and also couldn't psychologically willow to his will or make eye contact while he was torturing my nipples. His eyes were demonic. It will take time to build up to where we were last time. Its a pity as we were getting so far. Told him about Chem, he said its not fair for him to want me all to himself. So I think we have an arrangement. It was really good to see him. I missed him.
I've never been honest in past relationships because what my mind desired and did would have hurt my partners too much. This new honesty is fragile and difficult. I feel have to be very responsible with all our feelings. Can poly work at the very beginning of new relationships and there are no primary or secondary partnerships as they are both equal?
To go into another fully committed relationship now with one person would defeat the purpose of why I broke up with Luz, however I feel very lucky that I have two wonderful wonderful boys who I don't have to choose between.