damn it to hell
i just read something that amanda wrote about relationshisp and it struck a chord. For the past year i have been living life relentlessly and carelessly, being a happy lush with my best friends, partying and dancing the night away in the city of sin til i dropped. My nights usualy ended up with one of the boys i was having pseudo dating situations with that only took part from midnght to sunrise and let me tell you i was perfectly content, I wasnt lonely, I didnt yearn for affection, and life was perfect.
My thoughts on this situation are usually the same; I dont believe in relationships now bc its pointless. We are too young to understand love and too naive to accept the resposabilities that come along with it. I see it every day all around me, issues of commitment, of whats going to happen after we graduate, of loyalty, so on and so forth. We have been educated to understand that now our careers are more important and theres no way in hell we are going to see anybody compromising themselves for a relationship no matter how in love you are with a person bc it scares us and terrifies us that we might be making the illogical mistake. Which is stupid if you ask me, bc love is important, but who is going to admitt themselves that....not many of us
so why bother dating if i dont see myself settling anytime soon? why bother dating the ppl I have crushes on when i know its just a crush and I'll be over it quite soon (sometime in a couple of months or so, no worthy of the time and effort a real relationship takes) I havent yet met a guy that'll sweep me off my ft with brilliance and until the situation present itself i doubt i'll be giving anyone the time of day unless its for my favorite past time: casual sex.
so why now? is it bc my life literally sucks now that I'm back in miami and in seeking some sort of entertainment or anyting to do really... am I feeling lonely and wish or think that perhaps I should put myself out there and start dating again? I mean we can forget about the sex whilst in my parents house, but why these thoughts? why this nostalgia over something thats been out of my mind for so long? I'm not going to lie it bothers the hell out of me that Im getting like this. I dont know how to date really, I'm too abbrassive, too opinionated, i have a big mouth and more often than not I tend to scare people..not that i care really i dont mind that part about me as much as i mind others...but this is really starting to suck specially bc i have no interest in meeting ppl from miami. I have this very biased idea of the kind of ppl they all are and its such a turn off. what the hell am I supposed to do? I dont believe in love anymore, everytime i watch or read romantic anythings i realize how much of it is bullshit. ughh have i just become bitter bc i had a bad experience? (which needless to say consumed two years of my life so its not like i can wake up and disregard it like that and go date someone else...I'm not that shallow) this is so ufortunate...the truth of the matter is that...
I HAVE REPLACED SEX WITH OBAMA.
My thoughts on this situation are usually the same; I dont believe in relationships now bc its pointless. We are too young to understand love and too naive to accept the resposabilities that come along with it. I see it every day all around me, issues of commitment, of whats going to happen after we graduate, of loyalty, so on and so forth. We have been educated to understand that now our careers are more important and theres no way in hell we are going to see anybody compromising themselves for a relationship no matter how in love you are with a person bc it scares us and terrifies us that we might be making the illogical mistake. Which is stupid if you ask me, bc love is important, but who is going to admitt themselves that....not many of us
so why bother dating if i dont see myself settling anytime soon? why bother dating the ppl I have crushes on when i know its just a crush and I'll be over it quite soon (sometime in a couple of months or so, no worthy of the time and effort a real relationship takes) I havent yet met a guy that'll sweep me off my ft with brilliance and until the situation present itself i doubt i'll be giving anyone the time of day unless its for my favorite past time: casual sex.
so why now? is it bc my life literally sucks now that I'm back in miami and in seeking some sort of entertainment or anyting to do really... am I feeling lonely and wish or think that perhaps I should put myself out there and start dating again? I mean we can forget about the sex whilst in my parents house, but why these thoughts? why this nostalgia over something thats been out of my mind for so long? I'm not going to lie it bothers the hell out of me that Im getting like this. I dont know how to date really, I'm too abbrassive, too opinionated, i have a big mouth and more often than not I tend to scare people..not that i care really i dont mind that part about me as much as i mind others...but this is really starting to suck specially bc i have no interest in meeting ppl from miami. I have this very biased idea of the kind of ppl they all are and its such a turn off. what the hell am I supposed to do? I dont believe in love anymore, everytime i watch or read romantic anythings i realize how much of it is bullshit. ughh have i just become bitter bc i had a bad experience? (which needless to say consumed two years of my life so its not like i can wake up and disregard it like that and go date someone else...I'm not that shallow) this is so ufortunate...the truth of the matter is that...
I HAVE REPLACED SEX WITH OBAMA.