I'm slipping into a funk and the year has just started!
I think it’s safe to say I’m caught in that endless cycle
wake up, played Little Big Planet, eat, play some more Little Big Planet, fret about not making enough money for bills, play Little Big Planet to ignore reality, sleep.
To top it off, I got a disheartening email informing me that a position I’ve applied for in a medical setting has been filled… And my dad isn't making it any better. Telling me not to get in that comfort zone and to get up and expand. He just doesn't realize I am trying but there are only so many options.
Then he asked me about school and I just shut down. I told him I can't go back until summer. He came up with the reasons himself but after that I didn't feel like talking anymore even though he just got home after being gone for 2 days. I really really wish I were in school myself. I feel like I won't be able to climb back on the horse after a while.
But I did get some encouragement from a collegue. First, she told me that the class I have to take in the summer is very easy and the professor is excellent. The only major thing she turned in was a ten page paper. Of course, he could change the curriculum by the time I get in the course but it's still encouraging. There won't be any references to any of the courses I've already taken. It's the very first class students in the program are supposed to take. Secondly, she also encouraged me to pick my internship back up. They are looking for help. But I’m worried about what kind of help. I already know I can’t deal with kids. That was a disaster. But if its the "set up and get information together" kind of help, I can build on those baby steps.
I try so hard to be hopeful and I just hope that this time next year I'm in a position where I won't have to worry about money or my career. In order for that to happen, though, alot would have to occur. *crosses fingers and toes*
wake up, played Little Big Planet, eat, play some more Little Big Planet, fret about not making enough money for bills, play Little Big Planet to ignore reality, sleep.
To top it off, I got a disheartening email informing me that a position I’ve applied for in a medical setting has been filled… And my dad isn't making it any better. Telling me not to get in that comfort zone and to get up and expand. He just doesn't realize I am trying but there are only so many options.
Then he asked me about school and I just shut down. I told him I can't go back until summer. He came up with the reasons himself but after that I didn't feel like talking anymore even though he just got home after being gone for 2 days. I really really wish I were in school myself. I feel like I won't be able to climb back on the horse after a while.
But I did get some encouragement from a collegue. First, she told me that the class I have to take in the summer is very easy and the professor is excellent. The only major thing she turned in was a ten page paper. Of course, he could change the curriculum by the time I get in the course but it's still encouraging. There won't be any references to any of the courses I've already taken. It's the very first class students in the program are supposed to take. Secondly, she also encouraged me to pick my internship back up. They are looking for help. But I’m worried about what kind of help. I already know I can’t deal with kids. That was a disaster. But if its the "set up and get information together" kind of help, I can build on those baby steps.
I try so hard to be hopeful and I just hope that this time next year I'm in a position where I won't have to worry about money or my career. In order for that to happen, though, alot would have to occur. *crosses fingers and toes*