Well....I was having a good day
Until I learned my cousin in law, who made a scathing remark on how tiny I am some years ago, is coming to visit. I voiced this to mama and she told me that overweight people tend to speak ugly out of jealousy. For an instant I felt like she was going to say "just pray for her" like a cure all. Thankfully she didn't because it would have been flippant for how I am feeling right now. I'm pissed and I'm not in the mood for forgiveness. Is it bad that I hope that she is still the same sishe was then? Wtf does she want? Just married into the family and don't know a thing about me yet has a comment about my appearance. Don't worry about me. Be concerned about your happiness. She is married to a supportive husband. Why is she so concerned about how other family members look compared to her? I can't wait to get out of here and go to work tomorrow so I don't have to play nice and fake smile in her face.
What I don't get is why it still hurts and makes me so angry after all this time!? I have a mind to wear my best form fitting clothing just to show I haven't gained a pound since that day. But then another part of me is trying desperately reign me in to have empathy: Imagine carrying all that extra weight around as she may have had for a significant part of her life and getting disapproving stares and unkind words and whispers. So my taking one jab versus the many she has probably taken shouldn't be a big deal. For all the stares she may recieve or feels she recieves, I recieve approving glances and get hit on more times than I care for.
They are supposed to arrive at noon. Everyone is coming to our house because Grandma is here. She is like a magnet for all the family. Some family we would never see if it weren't for her being here for the holidays. How crazy is that?
What I don't get is why it still hurts and makes me so angry after all this time!? I have a mind to wear my best form fitting clothing just to show I haven't gained a pound since that day. But then another part of me is trying desperately reign me in to have empathy: Imagine carrying all that extra weight around as she may have had for a significant part of her life and getting disapproving stares and unkind words and whispers. So my taking one jab versus the many she has probably taken shouldn't be a big deal. For all the stares she may recieve or feels she recieves, I recieve approving glances and get hit on more times than I care for.
They are supposed to arrive at noon. Everyone is coming to our house because Grandma is here. She is like a magnet for all the family. Some family we would never see if it weren't for her being here for the holidays. How crazy is that?