giving my all
no matter how much of my life, love and soul i give to try and make a person happy, its just never going to work if they don't want to be happy. he has so many issues, and i've been trying my hardest to help him, and be there for him. but for some reason, i still always feel like the bad guy. he's always mad at me, and i dont know why. i read all these books and watch these shows and movies about people being so inlove, they look at each other with such passion and tenderness. i'm starting to feel cold inside. he doesn't even talk to me with any kind of tenderness at all. unless he gets what he wants of course. i'm only getting older...and i feel like im losing everything i've been working so hard on keeping. there's nothing else i want in life than to have a happy family...but it doesn't look like it will go that way. he is so volatile and unstable, i'm scared of what will happen to him if i actually try to search for happiness. and my kids..god knows how much they love him. i can't take that away from them. i feel so hopeless.
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