When the light leaves my eyes...
remember me how I used to be and put me out of my misery please.
We just came home from visiting my grandfather in the nursing home... I've never experienced anything sadder than that... my dad and I went to bring him to see the rest of the family and the first words out of his mouth were "I want to die"... it just broke my heart... his heart is getting weaker and he's refusing to eat... I don't know what else we can do for him honestly... he was only with us for a hour and when we took him back to his room I looked around and saw people with eyes that once shone full of life now dull in comparison to what they once were... we don't want him to be there anymore that he wants to be there... my grandmother died the day my grandfather had to put her in a nursing home... I remember the call we got and then walking in the room and seeing her lifeless body... I think that if its time for my grandfather to go he should be here with his family in the house that he built...
I'm worried about my parents... they are running themselves ragged trying to make sure my grandfather is alright and having to go on with their daily lives... I've had to pick up more cooking shifts and sister duties at home and having to deal with my school work and the radio station... I'm so drained by the end of the week I almost fell asleep driving home today... I go to the radio station just to take refuge and bury myself in the music... I'm afraid to answer the phone when my mom or dad calls... there's this paralyzing fear that I'll never see or speak to my grandfather again... I know that one day the fear will be come a reality... I don't know if I'm strong enough to handle this... one good thing is that I have 3 great friends who are there for me and maybe more, but three that have been a support for me and always have some words of encouragement for me... thank you CJ, Maria and Jenna... I'm taking this time out to say thanks just in case I forget... I'm going to go to bed now... hopefully I can sleep in, probably not but I can try
We just came home from visiting my grandfather in the nursing home... I've never experienced anything sadder than that... my dad and I went to bring him to see the rest of the family and the first words out of his mouth were "I want to die"... it just broke my heart... his heart is getting weaker and he's refusing to eat... I don't know what else we can do for him honestly... he was only with us for a hour and when we took him back to his room I looked around and saw people with eyes that once shone full of life now dull in comparison to what they once were... we don't want him to be there anymore that he wants to be there... my grandmother died the day my grandfather had to put her in a nursing home... I remember the call we got and then walking in the room and seeing her lifeless body... I think that if its time for my grandfather to go he should be here with his family in the house that he built...
I'm worried about my parents... they are running themselves ragged trying to make sure my grandfather is alright and having to go on with their daily lives... I've had to pick up more cooking shifts and sister duties at home and having to deal with my school work and the radio station... I'm so drained by the end of the week I almost fell asleep driving home today... I go to the radio station just to take refuge and bury myself in the music... I'm afraid to answer the phone when my mom or dad calls... there's this paralyzing fear that I'll never see or speak to my grandfather again... I know that one day the fear will be come a reality... I don't know if I'm strong enough to handle this... one good thing is that I have 3 great friends who are there for me and maybe more, but three that have been a support for me and always have some words of encouragement for me... thank you CJ, Maria and Jenna... I'm taking this time out to say thanks just in case I forget... I'm going to go to bed now... hopefully I can sleep in, probably not but I can try