Oooh baby I'm a fool for you
So I'm at work right now wearily peeking through the window by my desk.. Scared half-to-death, I hate being alone all night in Centralia, it's very scary, and I especially hate when I get a phone call from another hotel saying "watch out, because this lady is probably coming over there tonight and she's definitely on drugs and will probably ask you for money"
It's nights like these when I wish I hadn't ever watched any scarey movie in my life because I instantly of course think of all the possible ways this encounter could go if she even does show up at all... as well as "where will I hide?, who will I call besides the police?, and of course, will I die today?" Not pleasant thoughts to think while you're at work, that's for sure. I wish I could lock the front door some nights =(
Aside from that... this writing an entry thing is mostly to keep my mind occupied and hopefully rid myself of those thoughts.. although my mind does tend to go a mile a minute, so this actually won't help at all..
But really, lately:
Not too sure what the hell I'm even doing...
I'm like hopelessly "in love" with this guy and he doesn't feel the same and I'm being really immature about it, but for some reason, even though I see myself doing these stupid things, I just can't seem to help myself.
I've tried dating other guys and all, but it's just sorta not working out for me in any way. It's not that any of these guys have anything wrong with them (except one)... In fact they have all been much better to me than this guy I can't get over..
But I find myself running straight back to him after a good or bad date... it's really pathetic... I'M pathetic.
I suppose I just need to get my head on straight and quit being such a kid all the time. I'm just too clingy/ want to be loved or at least cared about more than usual..
In other news, I have stomach ulcers.. which explains the constant nausea/vomitting I've been experiencing over the last 2 months. Which all their solution to that was: Take nausea pills so that you can eat...
Prolly not going to listen to the doctor on that one. I don't feel comfortable having to take a pill just so that my stomach can keep food down. It doesn't really prevent the problem, it just puts more chemicals into my body so that I THINK it's preventing the problem. So eff that.
I'm just now getting over a head cold... lots of grossness associated with that. Not pleasant..
And I'm very much trying to get someone to cover my shift so that I can go down to Coachella music & arts festival. For serious this year. I just need 4 days covered and the new girl is most likely going to quit before that even rolls around, so I have to make sure there's someone who will be able to cover my shift that can actually do the night audit... What a shitty deal. Hopefully things are a little more settled at my work pretty soon so I can either buy the tickets or just try to forget about it..
But I really want to go.
It's nights like these when I wish I hadn't ever watched any scarey movie in my life because I instantly of course think of all the possible ways this encounter could go if she even does show up at all... as well as "where will I hide?, who will I call besides the police?, and of course, will I die today?" Not pleasant thoughts to think while you're at work, that's for sure. I wish I could lock the front door some nights =(
Aside from that... this writing an entry thing is mostly to keep my mind occupied and hopefully rid myself of those thoughts.. although my mind does tend to go a mile a minute, so this actually won't help at all..
But really, lately:
Not too sure what the hell I'm even doing...
I'm like hopelessly "in love" with this guy and he doesn't feel the same and I'm being really immature about it, but for some reason, even though I see myself doing these stupid things, I just can't seem to help myself.
I've tried dating other guys and all, but it's just sorta not working out for me in any way. It's not that any of these guys have anything wrong with them (except one)... In fact they have all been much better to me than this guy I can't get over..
But I find myself running straight back to him after a good or bad date... it's really pathetic... I'M pathetic.
I suppose I just need to get my head on straight and quit being such a kid all the time. I'm just too clingy/ want to be loved or at least cared about more than usual..
In other news, I have stomach ulcers.. which explains the constant nausea/vomitting I've been experiencing over the last 2 months. Which all their solution to that was: Take nausea pills so that you can eat...
Prolly not going to listen to the doctor on that one. I don't feel comfortable having to take a pill just so that my stomach can keep food down. It doesn't really prevent the problem, it just puts more chemicals into my body so that I THINK it's preventing the problem. So eff that.
I'm just now getting over a head cold... lots of grossness associated with that. Not pleasant..
And I'm very much trying to get someone to cover my shift so that I can go down to Coachella music & arts festival. For serious this year. I just need 4 days covered and the new girl is most likely going to quit before that even rolls around, so I have to make sure there's someone who will be able to cover my shift that can actually do the night audit... What a shitty deal. Hopefully things are a little more settled at my work pretty soon so I can either buy the tickets or just try to forget about it..
But I really want to go.