Starstruck: Chapter 11
Title: Starstruck
Summary: At such a young age, Spike is the hottest actor around. A visit to a high school changes everything when he finally comes across the one girl he's been searching for, but she's not exactly what he expected.
Pairing(s): Buffy/Spike
Genre(s): Angst/Drama/Romance
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: None of the characters belong to me.
Chapter 11
“Hey, where did you get off to this morning? I woke up and found you gone,” Spike said with a pout.
Buffy stopped to look at him, taking in a deep breath. “Sorry, I had to get to school after assuring my mother that I was still alive. I forgot to call her last night and didn’t have the heart to wake you before I left; I knew that would have only made me later.”
He raised his eyebrows, not completely believing that was the only reason. “Are you all right? You don’t regret what happened, do you?”
“No, but I really should get to class now.”
Spike grabbed her arm before she could take off again. “What’s wrong?”
Buffy ran her fingers through her hair, deciding to just be honest with him. “Don’t you think we’re moving kind of fast? Sure, we’ve known each other since we were kids, but a lot has changed. We’re not the same people anymore, and I think we need to slow things down a bit.”
“Where was this attitude last night? I thought we were on the same page, love. You said you wanted to be with me.”
She nodded. “I do, but I think we should take a break, at least until you come back. If we still want to be together then, we’ll make it work. I just feel like we’re rushing everything, what with you choosing to give up your career just because we suddenly found each other again. Normal people don’t make that kind of decision over night, Spike. I feel like I would be holding you back and you may not think so now, but you could end up resenting me for it. You need to take more time to really think about what you want.”
“I don’t understand any of this. I already know what I want; it seems to me that I’m not the one confused here. You’re running scared again, and you’re using the fact I’m going back to London as an excuse to hide how you really feel. Do you want us to see other people while I’m gone; is that what this is about? A test to see if I’ll really stay true to you? Fine, but whether you like it or not, I’m going to London with the knowledge that I have a girlfriend in the states waiting for me. That’s exactly what I plan on telling anyone who asks, you can just do whatever the hell you want.”
Buffy felt tears in her eyes when he walked away, wondering if she did the right thing.
* * * * *
“He’s leaving in a week, Will, and he’s hardly said anything to me. Am I making a huge mistake?”
Willow shrugged, seeing how hurt her friend was and wishing she knew what to say to make her feel better. “I don’t know what to tell you, Buffy, but I do know that you’ve been a lot happier since he got here. I haven’t seen you really smile like that in a long time. You love him; anyone can see that, I think you’re just scared of what it means.”
She let out a sigh. “You sound like him; I just don’t know what to do. I’ve spent the last few months feeling like I was worthless, that I deserved everything Ted did to me. He made me feel like he was the only one I could rely on, that no one else could ever love me. It got so bad that I actually started to believe everything he said, and then Spike comes along. This amazing guy who took notice of me before he even knew who I really was, he made me feel things that I didn’t know were possible. I’m just so terrified of losing him when he goes back to England, that’s why I figured it would be safer to just end things now. He could go off for a couple of months, meet someone else and realize that I’m not the one he wants. The guy could get anyone; I’m just finding it hard to believe that he would actually choose me.”
“And here I was thinking you were a smart bird, my mistake.”
Buffy turned at the voice in her doorway, startled to see Spike standing there. “How did you get in here?”
He shrugged, stepping into her room. “You hide the spare key in the same place you used to.”
Willow picked up her books, giving him a small smile. “I’ll just let you two talk. See you later, Buffy.”
She tucked a lock of blonde hair behind her ear when Willow retreated, not knowing how to start this particular conversation, but Spike decided to break the ice.
“Is that really what you believe? You honestly have no idea what you mean to me, do you? When I first moved to LA, I absolutely hated it. I thought I could never fit in there, until a little angel came over to me out of nowhere. You befriended me when no one else would, made me realize that living there wasn’t all bad. As we got older, my feelings for you continued to grow and I started to look at you differently. I no longer only thought of you as a friend, but I knew there was no way I could tell you that. We were just kids, and you probably would have thought I was crazy. The truth of it was, I fell in love with you at first sight and when I found out we were moving away, I was distraught at the idea of never seeing you again. I played it cool for you, but I was so upset. It was never my intention to lose touch with you, and I regret that every day. We have a real second chance here, pet. I don’t know about you, but I’m not willing to throw that away. I didn’t think it was possible, but I love you even more now. To see the woman you’ve become, and know that I’m the lucky bloke who gets to be with you. So, no, I won’t have any regrets. Being an actor may have been a dream for me, but you are a once in a lifetime opportunity. I never once doubted that.”
Buffy was sobbing uncontrollably at his speech and before she knew it, she threw herself in his arms, crying against his chest and feeling content when he wrapped her in his strong embrace. “I love you,” she whispered, holding him tighter. “I always have, and I’ll be here when you get back. If anyone asks, I’ll tell them all about my wonderful boyfriend.”
He laughed, kissing her tears away. “If anyone can make this relationship work, it would be us. I love you, baby. It’s just you and me now.”
She pulled away, gracing him with a smile. “I can live with that.”
Summary: At such a young age, Spike is the hottest actor around. A visit to a high school changes everything when he finally comes across the one girl he's been searching for, but she's not exactly what he expected.
Pairing(s): Buffy/Spike
Genre(s): Angst/Drama/Romance
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: None of the characters belong to me.
Chapter 11
“Hey, where did you get off to this morning? I woke up and found you gone,” Spike said with a pout.
Buffy stopped to look at him, taking in a deep breath. “Sorry, I had to get to school after assuring my mother that I was still alive. I forgot to call her last night and didn’t have the heart to wake you before I left; I knew that would have only made me later.”
He raised his eyebrows, not completely believing that was the only reason. “Are you all right? You don’t regret what happened, do you?”
“No, but I really should get to class now.”
Spike grabbed her arm before she could take off again. “What’s wrong?”
Buffy ran her fingers through her hair, deciding to just be honest with him. “Don’t you think we’re moving kind of fast? Sure, we’ve known each other since we were kids, but a lot has changed. We’re not the same people anymore, and I think we need to slow things down a bit.”
“Where was this attitude last night? I thought we were on the same page, love. You said you wanted to be with me.”
She nodded. “I do, but I think we should take a break, at least until you come back. If we still want to be together then, we’ll make it work. I just feel like we’re rushing everything, what with you choosing to give up your career just because we suddenly found each other again. Normal people don’t make that kind of decision over night, Spike. I feel like I would be holding you back and you may not think so now, but you could end up resenting me for it. You need to take more time to really think about what you want.”
“I don’t understand any of this. I already know what I want; it seems to me that I’m not the one confused here. You’re running scared again, and you’re using the fact I’m going back to London as an excuse to hide how you really feel. Do you want us to see other people while I’m gone; is that what this is about? A test to see if I’ll really stay true to you? Fine, but whether you like it or not, I’m going to London with the knowledge that I have a girlfriend in the states waiting for me. That’s exactly what I plan on telling anyone who asks, you can just do whatever the hell you want.”
Buffy felt tears in her eyes when he walked away, wondering if she did the right thing.
* * * * *
“He’s leaving in a week, Will, and he’s hardly said anything to me. Am I making a huge mistake?”
Willow shrugged, seeing how hurt her friend was and wishing she knew what to say to make her feel better. “I don’t know what to tell you, Buffy, but I do know that you’ve been a lot happier since he got here. I haven’t seen you really smile like that in a long time. You love him; anyone can see that, I think you’re just scared of what it means.”
She let out a sigh. “You sound like him; I just don’t know what to do. I’ve spent the last few months feeling like I was worthless, that I deserved everything Ted did to me. He made me feel like he was the only one I could rely on, that no one else could ever love me. It got so bad that I actually started to believe everything he said, and then Spike comes along. This amazing guy who took notice of me before he even knew who I really was, he made me feel things that I didn’t know were possible. I’m just so terrified of losing him when he goes back to England, that’s why I figured it would be safer to just end things now. He could go off for a couple of months, meet someone else and realize that I’m not the one he wants. The guy could get anyone; I’m just finding it hard to believe that he would actually choose me.”
“And here I was thinking you were a smart bird, my mistake.”
Buffy turned at the voice in her doorway, startled to see Spike standing there. “How did you get in here?”
He shrugged, stepping into her room. “You hide the spare key in the same place you used to.”
Willow picked up her books, giving him a small smile. “I’ll just let you two talk. See you later, Buffy.”
She tucked a lock of blonde hair behind her ear when Willow retreated, not knowing how to start this particular conversation, but Spike decided to break the ice.
“Is that really what you believe? You honestly have no idea what you mean to me, do you? When I first moved to LA, I absolutely hated it. I thought I could never fit in there, until a little angel came over to me out of nowhere. You befriended me when no one else would, made me realize that living there wasn’t all bad. As we got older, my feelings for you continued to grow and I started to look at you differently. I no longer only thought of you as a friend, but I knew there was no way I could tell you that. We were just kids, and you probably would have thought I was crazy. The truth of it was, I fell in love with you at first sight and when I found out we were moving away, I was distraught at the idea of never seeing you again. I played it cool for you, but I was so upset. It was never my intention to lose touch with you, and I regret that every day. We have a real second chance here, pet. I don’t know about you, but I’m not willing to throw that away. I didn’t think it was possible, but I love you even more now. To see the woman you’ve become, and know that I’m the lucky bloke who gets to be with you. So, no, I won’t have any regrets. Being an actor may have been a dream for me, but you are a once in a lifetime opportunity. I never once doubted that.”
Buffy was sobbing uncontrollably at his speech and before she knew it, she threw herself in his arms, crying against his chest and feeling content when he wrapped her in his strong embrace. “I love you,” she whispered, holding him tighter. “I always have, and I’ll be here when you get back. If anyone asks, I’ll tell them all about my wonderful boyfriend.”
He laughed, kissing her tears away. “If anyone can make this relationship work, it would be us. I love you, baby. It’s just you and me now.”
She pulled away, gracing him with a smile. “I can live with that.”