In this post-NFA fic, Buffy learns that Spike never died in the hellmouth only when she's summoned to help him after he's discovered in the aftermath of the L.A. apocalypse, where he alone has survived, amnesiac and psychotic.
When love develops anew, they must struggle with all she remembers of the past, and all he doesn't know about himself and her.
This part NC-17.
Read it
here (open to all) or at
herself_nyc_fic (locked comm, must be 18).