(no subject)
I wrote this for Miss wattie76. She wanted a story with no canon, lots of UST, and a summer camp. She also mentioned, words from the song 'Summer Breeze.'
Title: ? (Working Title: Spike and Buffy Kinda Go To Camp)
Rating: R probably
Words: 3,415
PART II of III
Warning: This hasn't been beta'd yet and it is not completed.
“Who in his right mind would choose to go to Las Vegas during this time of year? Do you realize how hot it gets there, Buffy? The temperatures reach well over one hundred degrees.”
“Don't the hotels lower their prices because of the heat?”
“It would definitely make a lot of sense if they did.”
“I hope we can stay in one of the really nice ones. I've heard that the hotels are just gorgeous and that they all have different themes…”
“But why Las Vegas? We're just eighteen, pet. We can't gamble or drink legally. I'm sure there are some underage clubs, but so what? He could’ve gone to LA for that. Does your beau like twinkling neon lights that much?”
“Well, he told me why he was going there, and I didn't exactly pay attention to what he was saying.”
“Hey now, that's my girl. Ignore the man, I say,” Spike chuckled as he nibbled on the basket of fries that was between them as he and Buffy sat in their second booth of the day. Once again Buffy had ordered what she considered to be too much food and Spike was given the task of helping her finish her plate.
“I was mad at him, okay?” Buffy giggled playfully, tickled by Spike’s reaction. “I didn't want to hear about him staying in a fancy hotel, seeing shows, and eating at buffet after buffet.”
“If he was flaunting it, good for you, cutie.”
“I was jealous. Maybe it makes me a bad girlfriend, but I couldn’t be happy about his fabulous vacation while I was heading to camp.”
“So you have no idea where he is right now?”
“Not a clue.”
“But somehow you expect us to find the guy?”
“Yeah,” she shrugged. “The city can't be that big. On TV it looks like one long street.”
“Buffy, honey, you need to call him.”
“But wouldn't that ruin the surprise?”
“There won't be a surprise period if you expect to just run into Angel while we walk up and down the strip.”
“Oh. I'll call him later then.”
“Later?”
“Yeah.” Buffy smiled and took a long sip from her soft drink. “I don't want to bother him.”
“So, I've heard…”
“William, stop it.”
“Hey!” he yelped once she kicked his shin from under the table. “What was that for?
“Hush, you big baby, that didn't hurt.”
“I just don't understand it. You're Angel's girlfriend. How could a telephone call from you be a bother?”
“Come on, you never found it a little annoying when I called you over and over again? I was so clingy. If you weren't with me, I had you on the phone. I gave you zero space.”
“I was never annoyed. I wanted you in my space.”
“Well, some people might consider that smothering.”
“Does Angel?”
“Everything was so new and exciting for us,” Buffy mused, ignoring Spike's question. “You and I had puppy love to the extreme. You remember my Chem. notebook, right? It was 'Buffy hearts Spike' this and 'William and Buffy forever' that. It was crazy.”
“No, it was brilliant. We were happy and completely infatuated with each other…hey, you haven't been dating Angel for that long, are you hinting around that the newness has already worn off between you two?”
“I'm not making any hints, not one.”
“I see.”
“Stop it.”
He was ready for another kick, but instead Buffy stretched out her legs so he had a barefoot resting on each thigh. “And is there a reason why you're doing this? Using me as your footstool?”
“I'm stiff,” she explained in a groan, while stretching her arms overhead. “We've been sitting pretty much all day. We should walk around somewhere. Can we do some sightseeing? Since we're kinda going backwards from where we came from, can we go to that house or whatever that's in the shape of a shoe? I saw the sign, it looked really neat.”
“We've already got nine hours ahead of us. I'm not really looking forward to driving all night long.”
“We can stop at a hotel on the way.”
“Oh, can we? I'm sure we can do just about anything with the aid of your daddy's credit card.”
“Hey, it's my card too.”
“Do you make the payments?”
“Sometimes…”
“Sometimes? Sometimes, my ass.”
“Oh, we're talking about your ass now? Good, that so happens to be one of my most favorite things to talk about.”
“No, let's talk about yours, back to Angel…”
“Funny, Will. You're really hilarious.”
“Just tell me if you're not calling him because he accused you of smothering him. That’s all I want to know, then we’ll drop it.”
“Would it be so terrible if I waited until he called me? If I wanted him to call me first?”
“Are you playing hard to get or something?”
“You could call it that.”
“I see… So after his stupid comment about smothering, you've been keeping your distance. You're waiting for him to call first because then you’ll know that he misses you.”
“Hey, how'd you know that?”
“I know you,” Spike grumbled. “Too well for my own good, I think.”
“What's wrong?”
“Damn it, Summers, is your phone even on? Do you have the ring on silence? Vibrate?”
“No, I wouldn't-oh my God, let me look.” She dug through her purse and a light blush touched her cheeks. “I did have the ring on vibrate. Aww, Spike, he's called four times, and he left four messages.”
“Oh, be still my heart.”
“Aww, he's so-Spike? Where are you going?”
“To get some air. You don't need me hanging around while you're gushing over your new honey. Send peaches my love.”
“Peaches? You don't have to-Spike!”
“I'll just be outside. No worries, love. Take your time.”
***
“So…you needed some air?” After a few minutes, Buffy emerged from the fast food restaurant with a satisfied smile on her face. “I almost feel bad for swiping your cigarettes.”
“Why?”
“I took away your excuse.”
“Come again?”
“William, you used to require a nicotine fix at the most convenient times: when you were bored, lonely, uncomfortable, upset… Smoking gave you an excuse to run and hide.”
“Hey, needing fresh air is a good excuse too.”
“Yeah, but only if you're an old lady. Who goes outside for air nowadays?”
“Ah, how about just anyone who breathes?”
“Okay,” she laughed, “I guess you’re right, smartass.”
“You're in an awfully good mood. I'm guessing your call went well.”
“He misses me,” Buffy announced with a dreamy sigh that made Spike’s stomach sick with jealousy.
“Well, that's understandable.”
“He was worried about me too.”
“Good for him.”
“William, don't be grumpy. He's excited that we're coming.”
“What about the surprise?”
“Oh, you know how I get when it comes to secrets. Angel's even trying to find you a room in our hotel.”
“Your hotel…”
“Yeah, you want to stay nearby, right?”
“You'll be staying with him… In his room…”
“Spike, he is my boyfriend--.”
“Are you sure about this joint vacation thing? I'd rather not be the third wheel.”
“What's wrong with three wheels? I had a tricycle once and, it was super fun.”
“Buffy,” Spike began, his mood darkening. “I don't know if I can do this.”
“Why not? Can't you try? For me?”
“Oh, great, you're starting that up again? I gave up smoking for you, what else could you want?”
“I want the two most important men in my life to get along and become friends.”
“I'd rather eat glass.”
“Aww! Angel's not so bad. You just need to give him a chance.”
“No, thank you.”
“William…” She stuck out her lower lip and he looked away as she pouted. “God, you're really being a pain about this!”
“I'll stay until Tuesday and that's it. I'll be there for your birthday, and then I'm off. If you want to come back with me, fine; if not, Angel can find a way to get you home.”
“Are you getting all worked up about the hotel? The sleeping arrangements? If we stay somewhere tonight, where do you think I'll be sleeping? Not in my own room.”
“Does peaches know about that?”
“I won't be sleeping in your bed, and-William, who the hell is peaches?”
“Tuesday and I'm leaving. You can pout all you want.”
“Okay, but I won't pretend like I'm not disappointed.” She hooked her left arm with his right and gave it a loving squeeze. “If you stayed a little longer, I'd give you your cigarettes back…”
“Oh, so Angel's in your good graces again and you suddenly don't care if I get lung cancer or not?”
“I care, you dope, probably more than I should. We just went over this. Just because I'd give them to you, that doesn't mean that I'd want you to smoke them.”
“You want to tease me from another angle then? Great.”
“What? I don't tease you, I--.”
“It's always 'you can look, but not touch' with you.”
“What are you talking about? We touch. Spike, we touch all the time!”
“Yeah, but it's always the same: you hug me, you hold my hand, you kiss my cheek-you initiate everything. I never make the first move, and I always follow your lead, terrified that I might overstep my bounds.”
“That's not…why are you saying this? You've never complained…”
“No, I've been selfish, but not as selfish as you.”
Buffy's mouth feel open and her smile vanished, replaced by a hurt expression. “You don't want me to touch you anymore?”
“It doesn’t matter what I want. You can't have us both. You can't hang on me while we’re on holiday with your boyfriend. It wouldn’t be right.”
“I-I hang on you?”
“You need to choose. I'm telling you this because,” he swallowed, struggling to get out the words, “because I care about you. It's got to be all or nothing; him or me.”
“Is this because of what happened at camp? Because I wanted to stay in Angel's room? I won't, Will. I'll stay in an entirely different hotel. Please don’t do this.”
“Kitten, you knew this was coming. It was just a matter of time.”
“But why now?” she asked, warm tears sliding down her cheeks. “I’m not ready… What if I can't stay away? I don't think I'll be able to just stop…”
“Then maybe you should use the next nine hours to think through some things.”
“Are you not going to talk to me again? I won't be able to handle nine hours of silence.”
“I'll talk to you, sweetheart. About anything, everything.”
“No touching period?” she whispered while wiping her eyes. “If I trip, you'll just let me fall on my face? You won’t catch me?”
“Buffy…”
“Sorry, that wasn’t fair. I just wasn't expecting this. I don’t know how to react. I don’t know what to do. What should I do, Will?”
“I've found in similar situations that it's best to just quit and to not look back.”
“In certain situations… So there isn’t a patch for this? Something that could help me do this in stages,” she laughed weakly. “Like first we’ll cut out anything that involves our lips and then in a week or two, we’ll take out something else.” Frowning, her gaze went from his eyes to his mouth and back. “I’m being melodramatic about this, I know that, but it feels like we’re breaking up again. I always…it didn’t hurt so bad before because I knew I could still bring you close. I miss you so much sometimes, and it helps, knowing that I can be near you…”
“Without being with me,” Spike finished for her softly. “Not all the way. We’ve cut it close, but we’ve never crossed the line--.”
“Until today. I kissed you today.”
“It was just a peck.”
“But then I was in your lap. I knew what it was doing to you, and I didn’t stop. I didn’t want to.”
Spike swallowed, not sure what to say and equally uncertain of where Buffy was heading with their conversation. “We should get out of here.” He took several steps across the parking lot and turned back once she failed to follow. “Buffy?”
Without saying a word, she chewed her bottom lip.
“Honey, are you alright?”
“I need to make a call. Wait in the car.”
“Who are you going to call?” His eyes narrowed, struggling to read her blank expression. “Buffy, baby…”
“My mom,” she replied shortly before turning on her heel and walking away.
***
Half an hour crawled by and Spike’s forehead never left the steering wheel as he analyzed and reanalyzed his prior conversation with Buffy.
“I was too hard on her,” he said, announcing his final verdict to the empty car. “She’s already made a decision, she’s with Angel. So what if we’re affectionate? It wasn’t a problem until I made it one. I need to apologize.”
Leaving the car, he walked into the fast food joint and tried not to panic when he didn’t see Buffy’s petite form in any of the booths. He took a deep breath and headed straight for the women’s bathroom. After checking each empty stall, he questioned the cashier before jogging out of the building.
***
“What the bloody hell are you doing? Are you out of your mind?”
“What does it look like?” Buffy responded, lifting her thumb higher as her eyes stayed on the road. “I’m trying to get a ride.”
“Why?”
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
“You don’t want to talk about it?” William shouted out the window, competing with the noise of passing traffic. “Oh, yes you are!
He pulled over and jumped out of the car. “Do you have any idea how dangerous it is for a girl like you to be hitching a ride?”
“A girl like me? Go to hell, Spike.”
“I didn’t mean anything by it! What’s going on? Where are you trying to go?”
“Home, maybe even back to camp. I’ll go wherever I can.”
“What about Vegas?”
“I don’t want to go there anymore. I have no reason to.”
“What? Why not?”
“Go away, William. Leave me alone.”
“Summers, we need to talk about this.” He walked up to her and tried to lower her arm. “Please get in the car.”
“No.”
“God damn it! Why are you doing this?”
Ignoring him, she ran down the street and turned to flash her best smile for an upcoming car. “Please help me!” she cried. “Please, I just need a ride!”
A lump gathered in Spike’s throat, watching in disbelief as Buffy leaned over to speak to a random driver. Before she could get into the stranger’s vehicle, he slammed the door and grabbed her by the wrists.
“I won’t let you do this,” he hissed. “Whatever made you so upset, love, it’s not worth taking this kind of risk. This guy could hurt you.”
“Let go! I just want to go home!”
“I’ll take you home!”
“I don’t want to be near you right now!”
“Hey, buddy,” the driver began, but Spike didn’t listen, all his attention on Buffy.
“Please…just talk to me, Buffy.”
“Your girlfriend doesn’t have to go anywhere if she doesn’t want to. And if you have a problem with that, we’ll have a bigger problem on our hands.”
“He’s not my boyfriend! I don’t have one anymore!”
“What?” Spike asked. “What do you mean?”
“Miss, is this jerk hurting you?”
“You heard me, William. Aren’t you happy now?”
He released her wrists, never breaking their intense eye contact. “Tell the nice man that we’re fine here,” he spoke calmly. “You can take the next ride, alright? You can’t go without giving me an explanation. You were going to leave me?”
“I… You can go. Thanks, but I’ve changed my mind. He won’t hurt me. He loves me.”
“I do, pet, more than anything. You’ll get in the car, won’t you?”
“I love you too,” Buffy whispered, watching as the stranger, her would-be hero drove away.
***
“You nearly gave me a heart attack.”
“I didn’t mean to. I wanted to get away.”
Spike ran all ten fingers through his hair and sighed heavily. “What happened back there?”
“I dumped Angel. I did it over the phone. I told him everything.”
“What? What everything?”
“About camp, about not being able to keep my hands off you… That I cheated on him.”
“But you haven’t-God, what did he say?”
“Nothing. I hung up before he could.”
“And you did this because…why, pet?”
“You said it yourself; we cut it close all the time. We’re always a kiss and a fuck away.”
Spike swallowed, a larger more unbearable lump in his throat.
“I care about Angel,” Buffy continued. “No, not as much as you, but I won’t hurt him like you hurt me. No one deserves to go through that.”
“You did it because of me…”
“I bet that makes your day, knowing that my pitiful life revolves around you.”
“That’s why you left me?”
“I wanted to be alone. I wanted to go home.”
“I’ll take you home,” he mumbled, watching a fresh crop of tears slide down her face. He reached for the keys in the ignition and instead of starting the car; he slipped the keys into his pocket.
“What are you doing? Don’t touch me.”
“I’ll talk to him.” Ignoring her protests, he scooped Buffy into his arms and held her as she cried. “I’ll take care of this. If he’s worth your tears, he’ll understand.”
“He won’t. I’m a slut and I’m selfish. I’m a selfish slut.”
“No. Buffy, I will fix this.”
“It’s done. It’s over. You win.”
“This isn’t about winning-God, Buffy, please stop crying.”
“I can’t,” she whimpered, snuggling deeper into his chest. “Shouldn’t we be driving? It’s a long way home.”
“Not yet. Not until you feel better.”
“We’ll be here forever.”
“That’s alright with me,” he said, holding Buffy tighter each time she trembled.
***
“This is not a good idea.”
“It’s a great idea.”
“If this is your way of trying to make up something to me, save it.”
“You wanted a vacation, right? We can make do with what we have here. This is the nicest place in town, love. It’s got free movie channels, a pool, a little refrigerator…” As Spike trailed on, Buffy curled into a ball on the bed closest to the bathroom. “At least the sheets aren’t scratchy, right?”
“No. They’re comfy.”
“Let me do this for you,” Spike pleaded quietly. He sat on the edge of the bed and took her hand in his. “We can hang out here for a little, or we can do some shopping. It’s up to you. You saw that mall, yes? Tonight, we’ll have a nice meal and tomorrow, we’ll leave for Sunnydale.”
“I wouldn’t mind taking a bath. Then we should probably get you something clean to wear for tomorrow.”
“Sure, sure,” he whispered, kissing her temple. “We’ll do that.”
“Spike…you kissed me.”
“I…sorry… I’m sorry.”
“No, it’s okay. It’s not like Angel cares anymore.”
“About that, can I have his number? I’ll give him a ring as soon as possible.”
“Really?”
“Yeah,” he swallowed. “I said I would straighten everything out.”
“Why bother? We can date again.”
“You say that like it’s the last thing you’d want to do, Buffy.” Avoiding her eyes, he let go of her hand. “I never imagined you’d break up with him because of what I said. If I could take it back…”
“You wouldn’t.”
“I’ve been waiting for days for you to leave him, why do I feel like shit?”
“Because you’re a good guy.”
“ A good guy that you tried to leave in the parking lot of a fucking McDonald’s.”
“I am sorry about that.”
“I would’ve given you space. Just because you dumped him… I won’t make a move on you.”
“I’ve been treating you and Angel so badly.” Reaching forward, Buffy cupped the side of his face. “Thank you for pointing that out. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry. I just wanted you to be happy, and I knew if you were torn between him and me…”
“Spike, I--.”
“Shhh,” he interrupted once he saw her chin wobble. “You need your bags from the car, right?”
“My hot pink duffle has my bubble bath in it.”
“Alright, one hot pink duffle, coming up.”
***
Title: ? (Working Title: Spike and Buffy Kinda Go To Camp)
Rating: R probably
Words: 3,415
PART II of III
Warning: This hasn't been beta'd yet and it is not completed.
“Who in his right mind would choose to go to Las Vegas during this time of year? Do you realize how hot it gets there, Buffy? The temperatures reach well over one hundred degrees.”
“Don't the hotels lower their prices because of the heat?”
“It would definitely make a lot of sense if they did.”
“I hope we can stay in one of the really nice ones. I've heard that the hotels are just gorgeous and that they all have different themes…”
“But why Las Vegas? We're just eighteen, pet. We can't gamble or drink legally. I'm sure there are some underage clubs, but so what? He could’ve gone to LA for that. Does your beau like twinkling neon lights that much?”
“Well, he told me why he was going there, and I didn't exactly pay attention to what he was saying.”
“Hey now, that's my girl. Ignore the man, I say,” Spike chuckled as he nibbled on the basket of fries that was between them as he and Buffy sat in their second booth of the day. Once again Buffy had ordered what she considered to be too much food and Spike was given the task of helping her finish her plate.
“I was mad at him, okay?” Buffy giggled playfully, tickled by Spike’s reaction. “I didn't want to hear about him staying in a fancy hotel, seeing shows, and eating at buffet after buffet.”
“If he was flaunting it, good for you, cutie.”
“I was jealous. Maybe it makes me a bad girlfriend, but I couldn’t be happy about his fabulous vacation while I was heading to camp.”
“So you have no idea where he is right now?”
“Not a clue.”
“But somehow you expect us to find the guy?”
“Yeah,” she shrugged. “The city can't be that big. On TV it looks like one long street.”
“Buffy, honey, you need to call him.”
“But wouldn't that ruin the surprise?”
“There won't be a surprise period if you expect to just run into Angel while we walk up and down the strip.”
“Oh. I'll call him later then.”
“Later?”
“Yeah.” Buffy smiled and took a long sip from her soft drink. “I don't want to bother him.”
“So, I've heard…”
“William, stop it.”
“Hey!” he yelped once she kicked his shin from under the table. “What was that for?
“Hush, you big baby, that didn't hurt.”
“I just don't understand it. You're Angel's girlfriend. How could a telephone call from you be a bother?”
“Come on, you never found it a little annoying when I called you over and over again? I was so clingy. If you weren't with me, I had you on the phone. I gave you zero space.”
“I was never annoyed. I wanted you in my space.”
“Well, some people might consider that smothering.”
“Does Angel?”
“Everything was so new and exciting for us,” Buffy mused, ignoring Spike's question. “You and I had puppy love to the extreme. You remember my Chem. notebook, right? It was 'Buffy hearts Spike' this and 'William and Buffy forever' that. It was crazy.”
“No, it was brilliant. We were happy and completely infatuated with each other…hey, you haven't been dating Angel for that long, are you hinting around that the newness has already worn off between you two?”
“I'm not making any hints, not one.”
“I see.”
“Stop it.”
He was ready for another kick, but instead Buffy stretched out her legs so he had a barefoot resting on each thigh. “And is there a reason why you're doing this? Using me as your footstool?”
“I'm stiff,” she explained in a groan, while stretching her arms overhead. “We've been sitting pretty much all day. We should walk around somewhere. Can we do some sightseeing? Since we're kinda going backwards from where we came from, can we go to that house or whatever that's in the shape of a shoe? I saw the sign, it looked really neat.”
“We've already got nine hours ahead of us. I'm not really looking forward to driving all night long.”
“We can stop at a hotel on the way.”
“Oh, can we? I'm sure we can do just about anything with the aid of your daddy's credit card.”
“Hey, it's my card too.”
“Do you make the payments?”
“Sometimes…”
“Sometimes? Sometimes, my ass.”
“Oh, we're talking about your ass now? Good, that so happens to be one of my most favorite things to talk about.”
“No, let's talk about yours, back to Angel…”
“Funny, Will. You're really hilarious.”
“Just tell me if you're not calling him because he accused you of smothering him. That’s all I want to know, then we’ll drop it.”
“Would it be so terrible if I waited until he called me? If I wanted him to call me first?”
“Are you playing hard to get or something?”
“You could call it that.”
“I see… So after his stupid comment about smothering, you've been keeping your distance. You're waiting for him to call first because then you’ll know that he misses you.”
“Hey, how'd you know that?”
“I know you,” Spike grumbled. “Too well for my own good, I think.”
“What's wrong?”
“Damn it, Summers, is your phone even on? Do you have the ring on silence? Vibrate?”
“No, I wouldn't-oh my God, let me look.” She dug through her purse and a light blush touched her cheeks. “I did have the ring on vibrate. Aww, Spike, he's called four times, and he left four messages.”
“Oh, be still my heart.”
“Aww, he's so-Spike? Where are you going?”
“To get some air. You don't need me hanging around while you're gushing over your new honey. Send peaches my love.”
“Peaches? You don't have to-Spike!”
“I'll just be outside. No worries, love. Take your time.”
***
“So…you needed some air?” After a few minutes, Buffy emerged from the fast food restaurant with a satisfied smile on her face. “I almost feel bad for swiping your cigarettes.”
“Why?”
“I took away your excuse.”
“Come again?”
“William, you used to require a nicotine fix at the most convenient times: when you were bored, lonely, uncomfortable, upset… Smoking gave you an excuse to run and hide.”
“Hey, needing fresh air is a good excuse too.”
“Yeah, but only if you're an old lady. Who goes outside for air nowadays?”
“Ah, how about just anyone who breathes?”
“Okay,” she laughed, “I guess you’re right, smartass.”
“You're in an awfully good mood. I'm guessing your call went well.”
“He misses me,” Buffy announced with a dreamy sigh that made Spike’s stomach sick with jealousy.
“Well, that's understandable.”
“He was worried about me too.”
“Good for him.”
“William, don't be grumpy. He's excited that we're coming.”
“What about the surprise?”
“Oh, you know how I get when it comes to secrets. Angel's even trying to find you a room in our hotel.”
“Your hotel…”
“Yeah, you want to stay nearby, right?”
“You'll be staying with him… In his room…”
“Spike, he is my boyfriend--.”
“Are you sure about this joint vacation thing? I'd rather not be the third wheel.”
“What's wrong with three wheels? I had a tricycle once and, it was super fun.”
“Buffy,” Spike began, his mood darkening. “I don't know if I can do this.”
“Why not? Can't you try? For me?”
“Oh, great, you're starting that up again? I gave up smoking for you, what else could you want?”
“I want the two most important men in my life to get along and become friends.”
“I'd rather eat glass.”
“Aww! Angel's not so bad. You just need to give him a chance.”
“No, thank you.”
“William…” She stuck out her lower lip and he looked away as she pouted. “God, you're really being a pain about this!”
“I'll stay until Tuesday and that's it. I'll be there for your birthday, and then I'm off. If you want to come back with me, fine; if not, Angel can find a way to get you home.”
“Are you getting all worked up about the hotel? The sleeping arrangements? If we stay somewhere tonight, where do you think I'll be sleeping? Not in my own room.”
“Does peaches know about that?”
“I won't be sleeping in your bed, and-William, who the hell is peaches?”
“Tuesday and I'm leaving. You can pout all you want.”
“Okay, but I won't pretend like I'm not disappointed.” She hooked her left arm with his right and gave it a loving squeeze. “If you stayed a little longer, I'd give you your cigarettes back…”
“Oh, so Angel's in your good graces again and you suddenly don't care if I get lung cancer or not?”
“I care, you dope, probably more than I should. We just went over this. Just because I'd give them to you, that doesn't mean that I'd want you to smoke them.”
“You want to tease me from another angle then? Great.”
“What? I don't tease you, I--.”
“It's always 'you can look, but not touch' with you.”
“What are you talking about? We touch. Spike, we touch all the time!”
“Yeah, but it's always the same: you hug me, you hold my hand, you kiss my cheek-you initiate everything. I never make the first move, and I always follow your lead, terrified that I might overstep my bounds.”
“That's not…why are you saying this? You've never complained…”
“No, I've been selfish, but not as selfish as you.”
Buffy's mouth feel open and her smile vanished, replaced by a hurt expression. “You don't want me to touch you anymore?”
“It doesn’t matter what I want. You can't have us both. You can't hang on me while we’re on holiday with your boyfriend. It wouldn’t be right.”
“I-I hang on you?”
“You need to choose. I'm telling you this because,” he swallowed, struggling to get out the words, “because I care about you. It's got to be all or nothing; him or me.”
“Is this because of what happened at camp? Because I wanted to stay in Angel's room? I won't, Will. I'll stay in an entirely different hotel. Please don’t do this.”
“Kitten, you knew this was coming. It was just a matter of time.”
“But why now?” she asked, warm tears sliding down her cheeks. “I’m not ready… What if I can't stay away? I don't think I'll be able to just stop…”
“Then maybe you should use the next nine hours to think through some things.”
“Are you not going to talk to me again? I won't be able to handle nine hours of silence.”
“I'll talk to you, sweetheart. About anything, everything.”
“No touching period?” she whispered while wiping her eyes. “If I trip, you'll just let me fall on my face? You won’t catch me?”
“Buffy…”
“Sorry, that wasn’t fair. I just wasn't expecting this. I don’t know how to react. I don’t know what to do. What should I do, Will?”
“I've found in similar situations that it's best to just quit and to not look back.”
“In certain situations… So there isn’t a patch for this? Something that could help me do this in stages,” she laughed weakly. “Like first we’ll cut out anything that involves our lips and then in a week or two, we’ll take out something else.” Frowning, her gaze went from his eyes to his mouth and back. “I’m being melodramatic about this, I know that, but it feels like we’re breaking up again. I always…it didn’t hurt so bad before because I knew I could still bring you close. I miss you so much sometimes, and it helps, knowing that I can be near you…”
“Without being with me,” Spike finished for her softly. “Not all the way. We’ve cut it close, but we’ve never crossed the line--.”
“Until today. I kissed you today.”
“It was just a peck.”
“But then I was in your lap. I knew what it was doing to you, and I didn’t stop. I didn’t want to.”
Spike swallowed, not sure what to say and equally uncertain of where Buffy was heading with their conversation. “We should get out of here.” He took several steps across the parking lot and turned back once she failed to follow. “Buffy?”
Without saying a word, she chewed her bottom lip.
“Honey, are you alright?”
“I need to make a call. Wait in the car.”
“Who are you going to call?” His eyes narrowed, struggling to read her blank expression. “Buffy, baby…”
“My mom,” she replied shortly before turning on her heel and walking away.
***
Half an hour crawled by and Spike’s forehead never left the steering wheel as he analyzed and reanalyzed his prior conversation with Buffy.
“I was too hard on her,” he said, announcing his final verdict to the empty car. “She’s already made a decision, she’s with Angel. So what if we’re affectionate? It wasn’t a problem until I made it one. I need to apologize.”
Leaving the car, he walked into the fast food joint and tried not to panic when he didn’t see Buffy’s petite form in any of the booths. He took a deep breath and headed straight for the women’s bathroom. After checking each empty stall, he questioned the cashier before jogging out of the building.
***
“What the bloody hell are you doing? Are you out of your mind?”
“What does it look like?” Buffy responded, lifting her thumb higher as her eyes stayed on the road. “I’m trying to get a ride.”
“Why?”
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
“You don’t want to talk about it?” William shouted out the window, competing with the noise of passing traffic. “Oh, yes you are!
He pulled over and jumped out of the car. “Do you have any idea how dangerous it is for a girl like you to be hitching a ride?”
“A girl like me? Go to hell, Spike.”
“I didn’t mean anything by it! What’s going on? Where are you trying to go?”
“Home, maybe even back to camp. I’ll go wherever I can.”
“What about Vegas?”
“I don’t want to go there anymore. I have no reason to.”
“What? Why not?”
“Go away, William. Leave me alone.”
“Summers, we need to talk about this.” He walked up to her and tried to lower her arm. “Please get in the car.”
“No.”
“God damn it! Why are you doing this?”
Ignoring him, she ran down the street and turned to flash her best smile for an upcoming car. “Please help me!” she cried. “Please, I just need a ride!”
A lump gathered in Spike’s throat, watching in disbelief as Buffy leaned over to speak to a random driver. Before she could get into the stranger’s vehicle, he slammed the door and grabbed her by the wrists.
“I won’t let you do this,” he hissed. “Whatever made you so upset, love, it’s not worth taking this kind of risk. This guy could hurt you.”
“Let go! I just want to go home!”
“I’ll take you home!”
“I don’t want to be near you right now!”
“Hey, buddy,” the driver began, but Spike didn’t listen, all his attention on Buffy.
“Please…just talk to me, Buffy.”
“Your girlfriend doesn’t have to go anywhere if she doesn’t want to. And if you have a problem with that, we’ll have a bigger problem on our hands.”
“He’s not my boyfriend! I don’t have one anymore!”
“What?” Spike asked. “What do you mean?”
“Miss, is this jerk hurting you?”
“You heard me, William. Aren’t you happy now?”
He released her wrists, never breaking their intense eye contact. “Tell the nice man that we’re fine here,” he spoke calmly. “You can take the next ride, alright? You can’t go without giving me an explanation. You were going to leave me?”
“I… You can go. Thanks, but I’ve changed my mind. He won’t hurt me. He loves me.”
“I do, pet, more than anything. You’ll get in the car, won’t you?”
“I love you too,” Buffy whispered, watching as the stranger, her would-be hero drove away.
***
“You nearly gave me a heart attack.”
“I didn’t mean to. I wanted to get away.”
Spike ran all ten fingers through his hair and sighed heavily. “What happened back there?”
“I dumped Angel. I did it over the phone. I told him everything.”
“What? What everything?”
“About camp, about not being able to keep my hands off you… That I cheated on him.”
“But you haven’t-God, what did he say?”
“Nothing. I hung up before he could.”
“And you did this because…why, pet?”
“You said it yourself; we cut it close all the time. We’re always a kiss and a fuck away.”
Spike swallowed, a larger more unbearable lump in his throat.
“I care about Angel,” Buffy continued. “No, not as much as you, but I won’t hurt him like you hurt me. No one deserves to go through that.”
“You did it because of me…”
“I bet that makes your day, knowing that my pitiful life revolves around you.”
“That’s why you left me?”
“I wanted to be alone. I wanted to go home.”
“I’ll take you home,” he mumbled, watching a fresh crop of tears slide down her face. He reached for the keys in the ignition and instead of starting the car; he slipped the keys into his pocket.
“What are you doing? Don’t touch me.”
“I’ll talk to him.” Ignoring her protests, he scooped Buffy into his arms and held her as she cried. “I’ll take care of this. If he’s worth your tears, he’ll understand.”
“He won’t. I’m a slut and I’m selfish. I’m a selfish slut.”
“No. Buffy, I will fix this.”
“It’s done. It’s over. You win.”
“This isn’t about winning-God, Buffy, please stop crying.”
“I can’t,” she whimpered, snuggling deeper into his chest. “Shouldn’t we be driving? It’s a long way home.”
“Not yet. Not until you feel better.”
“We’ll be here forever.”
“That’s alright with me,” he said, holding Buffy tighter each time she trembled.
***
“This is not a good idea.”
“It’s a great idea.”
“If this is your way of trying to make up something to me, save it.”
“You wanted a vacation, right? We can make do with what we have here. This is the nicest place in town, love. It’s got free movie channels, a pool, a little refrigerator…” As Spike trailed on, Buffy curled into a ball on the bed closest to the bathroom. “At least the sheets aren’t scratchy, right?”
“No. They’re comfy.”
“Let me do this for you,” Spike pleaded quietly. He sat on the edge of the bed and took her hand in his. “We can hang out here for a little, or we can do some shopping. It’s up to you. You saw that mall, yes? Tonight, we’ll have a nice meal and tomorrow, we’ll leave for Sunnydale.”
“I wouldn’t mind taking a bath. Then we should probably get you something clean to wear for tomorrow.”
“Sure, sure,” he whispered, kissing her temple. “We’ll do that.”
“Spike…you kissed me.”
“I…sorry… I’m sorry.”
“No, it’s okay. It’s not like Angel cares anymore.”
“About that, can I have his number? I’ll give him a ring as soon as possible.”
“Really?”
“Yeah,” he swallowed. “I said I would straighten everything out.”
“Why bother? We can date again.”
“You say that like it’s the last thing you’d want to do, Buffy.” Avoiding her eyes, he let go of her hand. “I never imagined you’d break up with him because of what I said. If I could take it back…”
“You wouldn’t.”
“I’ve been waiting for days for you to leave him, why do I feel like shit?”
“Because you’re a good guy.”
“ A good guy that you tried to leave in the parking lot of a fucking McDonald’s.”
“I am sorry about that.”
“I would’ve given you space. Just because you dumped him… I won’t make a move on you.”
“I’ve been treating you and Angel so badly.” Reaching forward, Buffy cupped the side of his face. “Thank you for pointing that out. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry. I just wanted you to be happy, and I knew if you were torn between him and me…”
“Spike, I--.”
“Shhh,” he interrupted once he saw her chin wobble. “You need your bags from the car, right?”
“My hot pink duffle has my bubble bath in it.”
“Alright, one hot pink duffle, coming up.”
***