(no subject)

[spudanne]

i've been in london for close to two months. and i have a little less than 2 months left. it's all well and good. i manage fine. i'm independent here in the sense that i do what i want and don't care what the others do as much. i don't like the idea of being a collective person, which is what i feel like alot of people are expecting. i don't do groups well. i like to be inconspicuous in this city, blend around, smell the smells and watch everyone. i miss having a best friend here though. there's wonderful people in the house i can talk to. and jacks here, which is lovely, except when i want to punch him for being such a loudmouth show boy. but he knows it, so its fine. but i miss having my core people. i miss annie, and blair. sarah. and luke. luke luke. we talk a bunch. i'll spend my two months before going back to eckerd with him in brooklyn. argh, it's so frustrating that i can't have him whenever i need him. which is most of the time. but at least we don't get bored by eachother with this situation.
dunno. i just feel like i can't be vulnerable here. i'm "Anne" not me. playing a part that i cut for myself, because it takes too much effort to let down the guards. oh yeah, and i drink too much. and i smoke to many roll ups, to the point my finger is nicotene stained.
oh and i'm infatuated with my art history teacher, she's lovely. we went out with beers last week and talked about life and philosophy and politics and all that jazz that makes me feel so good about knowing.
dunno the point of this entry. i just realized that my last one was 3 months ago. felt the need to share.