~ Tales & Fragments Of A Broken Heart ~ 20th Feb 2008
Tales & Fragments Of A Broken Heart.
Author: Spudacus
Length: Short Series - Journal style. - 7 Entries
Rating: PG - 18
Pairings: Yoosu/JunChun JaeHo/YoonJae, MinSu
Genre: Random, angst, romance (occasionally)
Summary: a short series, of journal/diary like entries, talking about anything really, things that are happening in this persons life, be they good, bad, ugly or funny.
A/N: some of the events and thoughts and feelings in this are based off of me, my friends, things I have read, seen or heard of, so its all a mash up of all things. Btw, not all of it’s me! lol please enjoy, I haven’t tried this style before!
12th May 2006 14th October 2006
14th February 2007 20th September 2007
20th February 2008 22nd September 2008
1st January 2009
~ Open ~
20th February 2008
Today, I got a message on the internet from my boyfriend, he wanted to break up with me… in the end I let him fly off away out of my hands and into the sunset, to do what or who he wants to. He said he’s not ready to commit, the ‘man-whore’ in him came back, he just couldn’t hold down a relationship at the moment with the way he travels a lot in his time off and sees his friends and family in that time too, he said it was not fair on me.
I understand that and I’m not going to hold him down or make him feel guilty, its not for me to do that to him. He cares for me a lot and I for him, that won’t change, though he said maybe if I’m single in a few months we could talk about ‘us’, I would like that very much, as he is my first.
I had to cry otherwise it would have become too much form e to bear without crying my arse off. I'm sad, of course and I will miss him in all the ways it is possible to miss a person, but I am strong and I will survive, we are going to remain friends and we can get to know each other even more.
I'm calmer about it now than I was earlier, after talking to him, I feel calmer and more optimistic, I now have experience as my friend had said, she has lived a lot, she has experienced unimaginable pain and loss over the years, yet she is still one of the most loving, caring and giving person, I look u to her so much, she is a fantastic friend to me and any who meet her.
He said that I am intelligent, cute, sexy, awesome, amazing and nice, also well cultured, ‘thank you’.
“I only ever wanted someone to love me for me, to like me for me, to want all of me, to think the world of me… and you gave that to me, if only for a short while, and you still say that I am awesome and amazing… thank you for that”.
I can’t picture anyone else on you or you on anyone else, it hurts too much to think of that, but my mind attacks me with these images and I have no defence, no one to hold me and no one to wipe away my tears, what am I to do now? I'm alone in this world again, until the next person comes along… if he comes along.
At least we have ended on a good note and there is no bitterness between us, we can live our lives as friends and who knows maybe sometime in the future we could get back together, that would be nice.
Goodbye Yoochun, my first.
Love Junsu
XxX
~ Close ~