(no subject)
ok so imma try this. it may help.
dear jt,
i dont think you realize that i seriously still cant stop thinking about you. i cant get you out of my head. little things remind me of you, like the way some people say things, like when i say "yo" in the way that you did, gold vans for fuck sake theyre everywhere, any kind of hip hop, i think you get the picture. i feel creepy and i feel like im stalking you, which is why i have to continue to let that go. things between us could have been great because we were so fucking perfect together, but maybe im just seeing this entirely from my side. you were everything i wanted in a guy, like seriously. you were even that guy that people say will "find you when youre not looking and will be amazing and wonderful and sweep you off your feet." yeah that was you. and then you never let me catch my fucking footing again.
i cant go a day without thinking about you. i cant fucking drive by sways street (which is a fucking block away AND i can see his house from my fucking front yard for fucks sake!!! duh im gonna look for you) without seeing if youre there. and when you are my throat kind of chokes up a little. i want to text you and say hi. i want to see you somewhere and have you smile at me again. i want to feel less crazy about this.
i like to think that you think about me too. i like to think that you put that picture up on facebook because it was my favorite. and that you havent been online much because you dont want to see my shit or something. i like to think this. because i cant think of any thing else.
we werent even really together. we didnt even see each other for long. so why cant i get rid of you? why must i be your fucking creepy ex? just you were everything i wanted, and you were so fucking amazing to me that i cant let it go. ive tried to move on, and i dont know anyone that i want to date at all. and those that i have tried to, dont even come close to comparing to you. i see happy couples and i think it could have been me and you. it really could have. so what did i do wrong? is it seriously that you dont care about me? so why did you say all those things then? i dunno. i dont know how ill ever get these answers. or if i even want them. honestly i probably dont want them. i just remember the things you said, and even when you said that you thought of me everyday the first time we stopped talking. was that a lie? i hope not.
i dont know. i feel like a complete fucking nutcase. i should be able to get over you. but i really really cant. i mean, im better, im not constantly sad but especially today i find myself thinking of you consistantly. i just really hope that either i get over you soon or you call me soon because im tired of feeling like a crazy person.
i see why you didnt want to be with me. yes, it was going to be very serious and i understand that you cant do that, but i would really enjoy it if when you think youre ready, you call me. because im completely retarded for you darlin. i miss my tall skinny boy.
love,
me.
dear jt,
i dont think you realize that i seriously still cant stop thinking about you. i cant get you out of my head. little things remind me of you, like the way some people say things, like when i say "yo" in the way that you did, gold vans for fuck sake theyre everywhere, any kind of hip hop, i think you get the picture. i feel creepy and i feel like im stalking you, which is why i have to continue to let that go. things between us could have been great because we were so fucking perfect together, but maybe im just seeing this entirely from my side. you were everything i wanted in a guy, like seriously. you were even that guy that people say will "find you when youre not looking and will be amazing and wonderful and sweep you off your feet." yeah that was you. and then you never let me catch my fucking footing again.
i cant go a day without thinking about you. i cant fucking drive by sways street (which is a fucking block away AND i can see his house from my fucking front yard for fucks sake!!! duh im gonna look for you) without seeing if youre there. and when you are my throat kind of chokes up a little. i want to text you and say hi. i want to see you somewhere and have you smile at me again. i want to feel less crazy about this.
i like to think that you think about me too. i like to think that you put that picture up on facebook because it was my favorite. and that you havent been online much because you dont want to see my shit or something. i like to think this. because i cant think of any thing else.
we werent even really together. we didnt even see each other for long. so why cant i get rid of you? why must i be your fucking creepy ex? just you were everything i wanted, and you were so fucking amazing to me that i cant let it go. ive tried to move on, and i dont know anyone that i want to date at all. and those that i have tried to, dont even come close to comparing to you. i see happy couples and i think it could have been me and you. it really could have. so what did i do wrong? is it seriously that you dont care about me? so why did you say all those things then? i dunno. i dont know how ill ever get these answers. or if i even want them. honestly i probably dont want them. i just remember the things you said, and even when you said that you thought of me everyday the first time we stopped talking. was that a lie? i hope not.
i dont know. i feel like a complete fucking nutcase. i should be able to get over you. but i really really cant. i mean, im better, im not constantly sad but especially today i find myself thinking of you consistantly. i just really hope that either i get over you soon or you call me soon because im tired of feeling like a crazy person.
i see why you didnt want to be with me. yes, it was going to be very serious and i understand that you cant do that, but i would really enjoy it if when you think youre ready, you call me. because im completely retarded for you darlin. i miss my tall skinny boy.
love,
me.