(no subject)
Thy name is Failure....
I've gotten to the point of no return. The only option in life is failure. I know it doesn't seem right that I should be feeling this way. I mean I'm happy at school most of the time, infact it seems as though I'm happy all of the time. I feel like the depression is pushing back into my life, fighting for control, and I'm losing that fight. I get home and all I can think about is wanting to go to sleep because I'm so tired and mentally drained.
I am not smart, nor will I ever be the smartest person, I mean seriously every moment I sit down to do homework in Algebra II I get so confused, as if I were a wall you were trying to teach, I am nothing. Chemistry, everyday in Chemistry my self esteem lowers. I mean I just give up in that class. I don't understand it, the teacher scares me so I'm afraid to ask for help and she yells at anyone who makes a mistake. It's like whatever she says, I have to get it on the spot, but I am learning and I will make mistakes, numerous mistakes. I suppose being a junior you aren't entitled to making mistakes any longer. Especially in on level classes.
American History, it's like hey look at the stupid kid in Honors. Every class I have makes me feel unintelligent, even English,a nd I have awesome friends in these classes.
I'm being a drama Queen, I know, but some days you just need a place to act like a big bundle of drama and I rather write it out instead of talking to people because then they can't point out how stupid my drama queen is being loling.
I've gotten to the point of no return. The only option in life is failure. I know it doesn't seem right that I should be feeling this way. I mean I'm happy at school most of the time, infact it seems as though I'm happy all of the time. I feel like the depression is pushing back into my life, fighting for control, and I'm losing that fight. I get home and all I can think about is wanting to go to sleep because I'm so tired and mentally drained.
I am not smart, nor will I ever be the smartest person, I mean seriously every moment I sit down to do homework in Algebra II I get so confused, as if I were a wall you were trying to teach, I am nothing. Chemistry, everyday in Chemistry my self esteem lowers. I mean I just give up in that class. I don't understand it, the teacher scares me so I'm afraid to ask for help and she yells at anyone who makes a mistake. It's like whatever she says, I have to get it on the spot, but I am learning and I will make mistakes, numerous mistakes. I suppose being a junior you aren't entitled to making mistakes any longer. Especially in on level classes.
American History, it's like hey look at the stupid kid in Honors. Every class I have makes me feel unintelligent, even English,a nd I have awesome friends in these classes.
I'm being a drama Queen, I know, but some days you just need a place to act like a big bundle of drama and I rather write it out instead of talking to people because then they can't point out how stupid my drama queen is being loling.