(no subject)
I'm happy right now. I'm at a good place. But I won't fool myself into thinking that this is as deep as I wish it was. I know that a temporary lapse isn't getting past things.
I find myself excited for the future and for getting things together. I find myself glad to be back among friends here and in my comfort zone.
I realize I have hurt someone and theres no re-do or take-backs in life. The one person who I would never want to hurt is hurt. They may not come out and say it but actions and small things have shown it. I can't take back what I said because what I said is true and will play out like I said. I cannot change my plans to ensure the happiness of others, yet how do I maintain that balance. I realize that I will become secondary, or maybe lower, and that its going to take a while to heal from that. I'm not prepared for it and I'm already torn up about it and it hasn't even happened.
I can't explain how much the one bad thing in my life is tearing me down. No matter how happy I am about everything else, this just hurts.
I find myself excited for the future and for getting things together. I find myself glad to be back among friends here and in my comfort zone.
I realize I have hurt someone and theres no re-do or take-backs in life. The one person who I would never want to hurt is hurt. They may not come out and say it but actions and small things have shown it. I can't take back what I said because what I said is true and will play out like I said. I cannot change my plans to ensure the happiness of others, yet how do I maintain that balance. I realize that I will become secondary, or maybe lower, and that its going to take a while to heal from that. I'm not prepared for it and I'm already torn up about it and it hasn't even happened.
I can't explain how much the one bad thing in my life is tearing me down. No matter how happy I am about everything else, this just hurts.