(no subject)
I am SO waiting for a change! Egads something needs to start looking up around here.
Washer exploded Sunday. So new washer and dryer need to be bought (cheeper that way and frankly at 20 years old for the two of them it is better to get both rather than have the dryer explode in a week).
And yeah i knew they would go eventually- the knobs had fallen off and we haven't been able to wash clothes in warm only cold or hot for a year or more- but why this week?
Yesterday was hell day- after the meltdowns were slightly controlled (major scary ones) I talked to shan who said that yesterdays snow was like the snow in the shining- crazy making snow... Not sure that it was true but is sure as heck felt apt after our day. I decided at one point yesterday afternoon that I could survive if I had brownies- so I got things ready- buttered the pan- measured the dry ingredients, got out the caramel and put it in a pan and then bigger said- don't we need eggs for brownies? oh crap yes we do. So i called dh and said "when you get home you need to go out and get eggs and milk right away- i need brownies to survive". Sigh- he didn't understand that I was obsessed and had decided that I could seriously only survive with brownies- they were my SALVATION. So he came home and dealt with the person waiting upstairs for more than two hours to talk with daddy and then said we should have dinner. After dinner he went to the bathroom- for an HOUR- effectively making brownies before bed impossible. Then had my meltdown.
I keep trying to take care of me and the baby and every single thing on earth gets in the way. Everything- from the tub being too dirty, and it is so hard to lean over and clean it properly that I don't end up wanting a bath once it is clean, to a lack of eggs for brownies, to my cat dying so I don't even want to read because I will just cry about not having him on the couch to read with, to never even having time for sex because the kids won't go to sleep and when they finally are in bed I know dh should be sleeping. So all in all it was a giant pity party for me last night.
In the middle of the meltdowns big learned that mommy is mean and she repeated it all day, evening and night and even said it this am. I am trying to avoid my energy going to the ridiculous- but I am still hurt that at age two my kid thinks I am mean. Shit- compared to so many parents we are freakishly nice but our kids don't think so.
And then there was the whole thing about how the hell could I let a food item have so much importance to me? I mean no wonder I am overweight. Which as happens in tear fests, made me realize how freaking large I am lately- (I know it will go down from here and always does for me in pregnancy- but still). This has been the hardest for me this time after losing weight and getting more fit, gaining weight for baby has been stressful.
So no more about that. How the hell I could have had such a pity party last night? I am so lucky.
I want this house- or some other lovely version- I think of my goats, chickens, ducks, cats, dogs, kids, running all over- a kitchen to seriously cook in.... http://lindameerkins.edinarealty.com/Listing/ListingDetail.aspx?Search=86dfc166-f32b-4e81-892b-433f9b937cdb&Listing=26168414&IRPAgentID=15883&Image=1&First=1&Last=10&pagesize=10&SearchType=&ListingDistrictTypeID=&FirstLetter=&Sort=6&Cookies=&UseColorBar=false
Homedepot is making planter boxes this weekend (seems like a perfect mothersday gift for gma to me)
Lowes is making ant farms the next week and on the 26th sail boats with wheels- not sure how they work but they look like rubberband cars
my mom took me shopping on Sunday after church. The kids hung out at their neighbors for a while with their ducklings (you can get ducklings at the robbinsdale feed store for 9 bucks- and if I thought dougie lee could keep from eating them when we were gone I would for sure get some. We went to 4 stores and my mom spent tons of money on clothes for me. I am excited to wear them- a couple things for now but mostly spring and summer items. 5 outfits some from old navy and some from motherhood. We went to mimi and the gap but I couldnt justify the prices there- even if the clothes are fab- but 78 for a skirt? Sorry even with moms money i am too cheep. With the five outfits she spent about 200. I didn't need any clothes- not really- just wanted something I would feel somewhat attractive in. And it wasn't even my idea- mom thought of it on her own. My last pregnancy so she said I should be spoiled. Plus a few of them will work well after babe is born and I start the long process back to normal clothes.
Bigger is a cowboy lately- so adorable riding the rocking horse with a rope, cowboy hat, neck bandana and SUIT... his kind of cowboy is Fancy. He sobbed loud and long about losing Spikers- it was heartbreaking.
Biggest is alternately adoringly sweet- bringing me their easter basket flowers and a drawing of baby in utero including placenta and umbilicus and lovely cards for Spike Lee to gigantic meltdowns. Today she is fixing Kaya's hair and making jam sandwiches from easter buns.
Big is wearing sunglasses and singing- turn back o man while wearing two dresses without tights, three tiny pony tails in her hair and a zillion clippies. She just came up to me and held my hands to sing by my side (my tands are told she is singing). Lately she is getting more and more understandable- but of course I am still worried about her speech.
The snow is melting off the street and the trees no longer have their lovely coated look- bare wood again.
Washer exploded Sunday. So new washer and dryer need to be bought (cheeper that way and frankly at 20 years old for the two of them it is better to get both rather than have the dryer explode in a week).
And yeah i knew they would go eventually- the knobs had fallen off and we haven't been able to wash clothes in warm only cold or hot for a year or more- but why this week?
Yesterday was hell day- after the meltdowns were slightly controlled (major scary ones) I talked to shan who said that yesterdays snow was like the snow in the shining- crazy making snow... Not sure that it was true but is sure as heck felt apt after our day. I decided at one point yesterday afternoon that I could survive if I had brownies- so I got things ready- buttered the pan- measured the dry ingredients, got out the caramel and put it in a pan and then bigger said- don't we need eggs for brownies? oh crap yes we do. So i called dh and said "when you get home you need to go out and get eggs and milk right away- i need brownies to survive". Sigh- he didn't understand that I was obsessed and had decided that I could seriously only survive with brownies- they were my SALVATION. So he came home and dealt with the person waiting upstairs for more than two hours to talk with daddy and then said we should have dinner. After dinner he went to the bathroom- for an HOUR- effectively making brownies before bed impossible. Then had my meltdown.
I keep trying to take care of me and the baby and every single thing on earth gets in the way. Everything- from the tub being too dirty, and it is so hard to lean over and clean it properly that I don't end up wanting a bath once it is clean, to a lack of eggs for brownies, to my cat dying so I don't even want to read because I will just cry about not having him on the couch to read with, to never even having time for sex because the kids won't go to sleep and when they finally are in bed I know dh should be sleeping. So all in all it was a giant pity party for me last night.
In the middle of the meltdowns big learned that mommy is mean and she repeated it all day, evening and night and even said it this am. I am trying to avoid my energy going to the ridiculous- but I am still hurt that at age two my kid thinks I am mean. Shit- compared to so many parents we are freakishly nice but our kids don't think so.
And then there was the whole thing about how the hell could I let a food item have so much importance to me? I mean no wonder I am overweight. Which as happens in tear fests, made me realize how freaking large I am lately- (I know it will go down from here and always does for me in pregnancy- but still). This has been the hardest for me this time after losing weight and getting more fit, gaining weight for baby has been stressful.
So no more about that. How the hell I could have had such a pity party last night? I am so lucky.
I want this house- or some other lovely version- I think of my goats, chickens, ducks, cats, dogs, kids, running all over- a kitchen to seriously cook in.... http://lindameerkins.edinarealty.com/Listing/ListingDetail.aspx?Search=86dfc166-f32b-4e81-892b-433f9b937cdb&Listing=26168414&IRPAgentID=15883&Image=1&First=1&Last=10&pagesize=10&SearchType=&ListingDistrictTypeID=&FirstLetter=&Sort=6&Cookies=&UseColorBar=false
Homedepot is making planter boxes this weekend (seems like a perfect mothersday gift for gma to me)
Lowes is making ant farms the next week and on the 26th sail boats with wheels- not sure how they work but they look like rubberband cars
my mom took me shopping on Sunday after church. The kids hung out at their neighbors for a while with their ducklings (you can get ducklings at the robbinsdale feed store for 9 bucks- and if I thought dougie lee could keep from eating them when we were gone I would for sure get some. We went to 4 stores and my mom spent tons of money on clothes for me. I am excited to wear them- a couple things for now but mostly spring and summer items. 5 outfits some from old navy and some from motherhood. We went to mimi and the gap but I couldnt justify the prices there- even if the clothes are fab- but 78 for a skirt? Sorry even with moms money i am too cheep. With the five outfits she spent about 200. I didn't need any clothes- not really- just wanted something I would feel somewhat attractive in. And it wasn't even my idea- mom thought of it on her own. My last pregnancy so she said I should be spoiled. Plus a few of them will work well after babe is born and I start the long process back to normal clothes.
Bigger is a cowboy lately- so adorable riding the rocking horse with a rope, cowboy hat, neck bandana and SUIT... his kind of cowboy is Fancy. He sobbed loud and long about losing Spikers- it was heartbreaking.
Biggest is alternately adoringly sweet- bringing me their easter basket flowers and a drawing of baby in utero including placenta and umbilicus and lovely cards for Spike Lee to gigantic meltdowns. Today she is fixing Kaya's hair and making jam sandwiches from easter buns.
Big is wearing sunglasses and singing- turn back o man while wearing two dresses without tights, three tiny pony tails in her hair and a zillion clippies. She just came up to me and held my hands to sing by my side (my tands are told she is singing). Lately she is getting more and more understandable- but of course I am still worried about her speech.
The snow is melting off the street and the trees no longer have their lovely coated look- bare wood again.