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[spryng]

I'm feeling increasingly panicked about this deadline. The worst part is it's not hard and fast, I could ask to move it, but my stubbornness REFUSES. I want to prove I can do this, even as I keep getting sick and the baby keeps getting sick and no one sleeps and work is eating my brain and then I guess I need to still do stuff around the house and

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[dreamsrundeep]

Year 1. It's a struggle. A joyful struggle at times. A miserable and lonely struggle at others. Even with friends in town, unless they made the effort to come see us, we didn't have the time, energy, or even the fucks to give because of being touched-out by tiny humans. As an introvert, parenting requires a LOT of my energy and even now with the boys at age 6 there are days where I just want to shut the door and have no one talk to me ever again.

Now that they're in school and I work from home twice a week, I kind of get that break that I need. I say that to encourage you: Balance will find you. It will. And once the Tiny is a wee bit bigger and the weather is nicer and the deadlines are less deadline-y, you will venture out into the warm world of spring and maybe meet a mom or two at the park. Or walking around your neighborhood. We discovered *amazing* parents right across the street from us with a daughter the boys age (exactly six months younger) THREE YEARS after we both moved in! It's like this nesting/all-encompassing-parenting period suddenly breaks and you can see people again.

The face of the earth misses you, but I promise it'll still be here when you find your balance. You do you the best way you know how and you'll make it!

[dreamsrundeep]

Also - many hugs to you!