Porn Run
Wrote this rockabilly song in an evening. Inspired by real life events.
Porn Run.
It's 2 in the mornin'
I don't have a lover
But I heard about a Playboy with Marge Simpson on the cover.
I'm goin' on a porn run
To relieve my boredom.
Though I can't afford `em,
I'm goin' on a porn run.
On my way,
I call up my posse.
Before long I've promised everyone a copy
I'm goin' on a porn run
Though I can't afford `em.
I'm goin' on a porn run
For everyone.
So I went to the newsstand
Said, "Hey, Mister Newsman,
What you got?"
He said "Everything but what you want."
"That's alright, I'm through with you
On to porn-monger number two."
After I went through 3, 4 and 5
I swear I asked every Indian alive.
Each of those fellas had something to say
About the blue-haired MILF that they wanted to lay.
"By Ganesh's tusks, that issue's a jewel,
But I tell you, my friend, you're on an errand of fools."
--Guitar and honky-tonk piano solos.
Wandered in at dawn, tired and forelorn
Met an angry mob, shoutin' "Where's my porn?"
I said, "They're all sold out, but I brought some beer."
They said "We're drunk already. We've got a problem here.
`Cause you're our friend, got till the count of two."
Got run out on a rail, I got the porn run blues!
I'm out on a porn run.
Ain't relieved my boredom,
Never-ending porn run,
I ramble from town-to-town.
I'm banished to a porn run,
Prayin' to the Lord's son
That past my mortem
Won't still be wanderin' around.
Copyright 2009.
Porn Run.
It's 2 in the mornin'
I don't have a lover
But I heard about a Playboy with Marge Simpson on the cover.
I'm goin' on a porn run
To relieve my boredom.
Though I can't afford `em,
I'm goin' on a porn run.
On my way,
I call up my posse.
Before long I've promised everyone a copy
I'm goin' on a porn run
Though I can't afford `em.
I'm goin' on a porn run
For everyone.
So I went to the newsstand
Said, "Hey, Mister Newsman,
What you got?"
He said "Everything but what you want."
"That's alright, I'm through with you
On to porn-monger number two."
After I went through 3, 4 and 5
I swear I asked every Indian alive.
Each of those fellas had something to say
About the blue-haired MILF that they wanted to lay.
"By Ganesh's tusks, that issue's a jewel,
But I tell you, my friend, you're on an errand of fools."
--Guitar and honky-tonk piano solos.
Wandered in at dawn, tired and forelorn
Met an angry mob, shoutin' "Where's my porn?"
I said, "They're all sold out, but I brought some beer."
They said "We're drunk already. We've got a problem here.
`Cause you're our friend, got till the count of two."
Got run out on a rail, I got the porn run blues!
I'm out on a porn run.
Ain't relieved my boredom,
Never-ending porn run,
I ramble from town-to-town.
I'm banished to a porn run,
Prayin' to the Lord's son
That past my mortem
Won't still be wanderin' around.
Copyright 2009.