Frustration 1/3
Frustration 1/3
Pairing: Fernando Torres/Daniel Agger - with cameos from Pepe Reina and Xabi Alonso (but not sexual cameos because that would be getting a little weird)
Rating: PG14 for excessive references to sexual acts
EDIT: Disclaimer: not true, not meant to offend (wow, I forgot the disclaimer, it has been a while)
A/N: I'm baaaaack lol, it's been a while, I'm a little rusty, be gentle
Summary: Dan's not getting what he needs, so he's understandably a little, well, frustrated
“It’s been three MONTHS” Daniel groaned, “and he hasn’t let me anywhere near his lower back, let alone anything else I’m interested in. I mean, yeah it takes a while to get used to being gay or whatever, but seriously. THREE MONTHS.” His head hit the table with an audible *thunk*.
Pepe stroked his back consolingly, “You can’t rush our Nando, Danny boy.”
“Have you seen his ass?!” Dan asked desperately, sitting up and clenching and unclenching his hands around an invisible, round, Fernando-bottom, “Have you seen it!?”
Xabi clucked his tongue sympathetically. They were sitting in the canteen after training, the older men quietly amused at the Dane’s frustrations.
“I don’t know what to do. I don’t. What can I do? I’ve done everything!” Dan looked from Spaniard to Spaniard as they sipped their coffee in silence. “Maybe he’s not gay. That’s the only explanation, right? I mean, men need sex; they at least need to be touched, this just isn’t normal. It’s not. He can’t be gay; he was drunk when we got together after all-”
Pepe gave a snort of laughter, “Oh, Daniel, that boy is bent, no need to worry about that. He may have needed a little liquid courage, but he’s just begging for the cock-”
“Pepe!” Xabi scolded.
“Åh gud, I just want him so much!” Dan cried out, head sinking on to the pillow of his arms in despair. “I’m going to explode if I spend one more night alone with my hand.”
Xabi wrinkled his nose in distaste, “Daniel, too much.”
“I’m past being embarrassed about this, Xabi,” Dan sat up and grabbed the Basque by the shoulder, “I’ve jerked off so much in the last couple of months that my cock is going to fall off!”
Xabi set his coffee mug down with a sigh, “Dan, you have to understand that Fernando’s never been with anyone before, you must be patient and ease him into the idea, and besides,” Xabi took a careful sip from his mug, “He’s shy.”
“No, I’ve been patient, I’ve been understanding, I’ve been everything! And I know you Spaniards aren’t shy, I’ve roomed next to you and Stevie for Christsakes!” He threw his hands in the air. “It must be me. It’s me.”
“It’s not you,” Pepe assured him, “You just need to be patient, I know it’s hard but it’s all you can do.”
“But- but-” Dan grabbed fitfully at the air again before sinking down in his seat, defeated.
Xabi and Pepe exchanged a look, Pepe’s imploring and Xabi’s resigned.
“Fine.” Xabi said reluctantly and Dan raised his eyebrows hopefully in the midfielder’s direction. “I don’t condone trickery as a conduit to sex…”
“Buuuut?” Dan rose a little in his chair.
“But Fernando needs to be eased into it, he needs to be charmed, he needs to feel like it’s the big scene in the movie where the boy and the girl- or the boy and the boy, I suppose- get together and make passionate love in the dim light of scented candles.” Pepe finished for the Basque.
“That was almost poetic.” Dan smirked.
“Watch yourself, boy, I’m trying to help.” But the keeper was smiling, “So go. Woo. Save that dick of yours from evisceration.”
Dan jumped up, clapped the other men on the shoulders, “Thanks guys.” And tore out of the building.
Xabi looked over at the keeper, “You’re terrible.”
Pepe just smiled into his coffee cup.
~!~!
After a couple of pit stops Dan was home with a bag full of supplies and a plan. And, prompted by a text from the defender, Fernando arrived a few hours later.
“Dan?” He called, swinging open the unlocked door.
“In here!” Dan carefully positioned himself to look his most alluring, holding two wine glasses leaning up against his kitchen counter.
“Hey, you.” Fernando greeted, dropping a kiss on Dan’s cheek and snagging a wine glass.
“Hey.” Dan’s voice was husky and his arm snaked around the Spaniard’s waist to keep him near.
He nuzzled into the crook of Fernando’s neck and the striker, predictably, blushed and turned his head to look away. Dan sighed inwardly but slipped a hand into Fernando’s and drew him out on to the balcony where the sun was setting; Fernando gasped and leant forward on the railing, marvelling at the view. Dan knew he bought this house for a reason when he used the other man’s distraction to slide behind the Spaniard, hooking his chin over Fernando’s shoulder and wrapping an arm around his waist again.
“It’s beautiful.” Fernando breathed.
“Mmm.” Dan agreed, sipping his wine over the blonde’s shoulder.
Ease him into it, Pepe’s advice echoed in his head as Dan’s hand slipped underneath Fernando’s t-shirt and slowly stroked the soft skin of his side. When Fernando leaned back into it and set his empty wine glass on the railing Dan was encouraged. When Fernando murmured his name softly, Dan was even more encouraged and nipped gently at Fernando’s neck, pulling himself tight against his back.
“No, Dan…” Fernando sounded a little more insistent.
“Shhh…” Dan lipped his way around the back of the blonde’s neck, writing words across his skin with his breath.
Fernando’s back stiffened and Dan’s mouth stopped its decent. He sighed against the thin material of the striker’s t-shirt, “Let’s have some dinner.”
Over wine and a laboriously crafted roast, they talked and Dan pined. After dinner they had their usual cuddle on the couch during a movie with a side of light kissing but Dan could tell the opportunity to push things just wasn’t there. But he couldn’t help but try his luck as they were kissing goodbye, pressing Fernando against the wall of his entranceway and integrating a leg in between the Spaniard’s. But Fernando just blushed and laughed a little uncomfortably as he slipped out of the Dane’s embrace and out his door.
Dan slammed his fist against the closed door with a shout of frustration, then looked despairingly down at his tented pants and whimpered.