What's going on..
Hello again, well.. to the people that actually read my live journal. I wrote this huge two paragraphs and my browser got really spazzy and just closed out on me. Sigh, well time to write all this again, maybe I can try to remember it all. Mosty likely I will.
Well, with that out of the way, let's just get on with most of what I said earlier. Today is probably the begining of whats to come to the next few days, or even weeks for that matter. I'll just say it into simple terms. I'm depressed. It's a kind of depression I have never felt before though, it's real weird, I can't really explain what it is, but its one of those "Depression on and off" things. I don't know really how to explain that, but thats how I felt today in the morning. Mostly through the day It was okay, and I felt normal. First let's get one thing out of the way before I really begin. There are times when I feel that I'm real annoying or maybe just a little, but I know I'm annoying. People say things like "How can you tell if your annoying, its like, impossible" Well.. I have my own way of telling this, for example, say you really really like this person and you can't get him/her out of your mind. You would always want to be with that person all the time, right? Then you might go a little too far, and this thought comes into your head "Well, wait a minute, this is too much.. I know i'm beng a little annoying" and you start to let that person breath some air and you back off. This is how I feel exactly with myself. In that one example replace "A person you really like" with "Friends that you hang out with all the time" and you will have what I feel. I know I'm annoying, I just know the feeling. People tell me that I'm not, but they just act like it and don't really feel that, It's just to get you happy and move on, and get out of their way. Now, this doesn't apply to all the friends I have. Most of them right now, are pretty cool about things. Some of the friends I don't really know, well, just don't care about it. There are three types of friends I have right now. The ones that most care about everything about you, they stand by you and help you trough the things that most affect you. You really care about them the most, don't loose them! Next that comes in line, is the simple friend. They might car about you a little, or just could help you in the simple things you do, like homework for instance, or study for a test, that kind of stuff. They hang out with you and just talk about things, funny, sad, what happend today. those are good friends yes, but don't really trust them alot. Maybe you can trust them with borrowing somthing, but dont trust them like you would trust your family. Soo, next comes the "not really" important friend of yours. Maybe he would come and talk to you for a little while but thats about much it. He see's you in the hallway and waves, says whats going on and continues on. You might bearly just know his name, if all at anything. These three types are what I have in this life.
Hmmm, I'm just going to say this, what I had in my last writing before the internet spazzed out on me. This goes to all my close friends, my best friends that I would never get anywhere else. Wouldn't change them one bit, they are the best when It comes to speaking your feeling to them, you can say anything to them and they would talk to you. This is what I need most of all, right now. I can't think of any other people to talk to when It comes down to speaking my most true feelings to them. Right now, the most understanding person that I could say whatever I wanted, whatever Is on my mind would be Melissa Smith. All this time, I could speak to her about things I wouldn't anyone else. This is not anout relationships or anything like confedence. No, this is me speaking out what I feel about anything. How depressed I am, and etc. She is one of the best friends I have right now. She doesn't have anything negative to say ever, and she is humorous when it comes to it. She really makes me happy too whenever she gives advice about things or helps with somthing. The next person that I could say anything to, about my problems, about how I feel would be Andrew.. He has always been there for me when I needed him. He is really cool when it comes to me just talking and hanging out. Whenever I have somthing to say, he understands it and also gives some advice about the thing I'm having a problem with. Whenever you need him, he is just there for you. The next person that would be like the ones I mentioned above would be Roger. Yes, him. I talked to him some time ago and thats how It all started. We would talk about anything, and everything. Even the most simple thing to talk about. Whenever I would bring up a problem that I have and If im depressed about it then, we would talk about that. He also gives advice, and some good advice. Mostly right now, he has some of the exact same problems I have currently right now. Most of all, he is a really funny guy when it comes to it. Him and andrew are really funny and cool about stuff. Theyre maybe more people along the way to becoming a real good friend I have. I'll maybe edit this later when I am reminded of more people to talk about. These three people those, are currently at the top of the list. They understand me, weither it be through God, weither it be trough Humor, or weither it be through problems I'm having. Theres just one thing I know though.. they are the best friends I have.
Well, since I have some time to spare, I might as well just update more with what happend today and what happend in my classes today. Hmm, today was, as you know, kinda depressing for me. I got up in the morning and, as usuall, got on the bus. Then when I got off the bus, as soon as I got out of the bus, this is when all the depression stuff hit me. I went to where I usally hang out and just sat down next to the wall. I didn't say a word at all, just sat down and listened to the music I had, which was Slipknot. I think the first person to notice that I was depressed, was Melissa Vallery. Then maybe after that would be andrew. Hmmm, The bell rang for first period and that's when everyone was leaving. Melissa came over next to me and Tried to make me smile. Then she got everyone near her to try and make me smile. Ehh, except Jason.. he doesn't care at all.. he just left, oh well. Tina, Andrew, Roger all were trying to make me smile. Well just to let them go, I smiled but Not a real good one, I didn't really mean it. Oh well.
First period began and everyone sat down and did some problems from the book, not that hard. Needed some help from my friends that sit next to me so we all did it as a group kind of thing. After that, that was pretty much it for the whole class, you don't really expect alot from that class I guess. For the rest of the class period, we just talked and hang out and stuff like that, again with me listening to some music while doing so. The bell rang for the Advisory class, which is where you don't do anything at all. Just sit there and that's pretty much it.
I went there and just sat down, I put my music away because I know that teacher would just take it up, and this thing I have is really expensive. I saw Phillip in there, as always. The good part about that was, he sat right infront of me. During the whole class we did this "Simpsons Trivia" thing, It was really great, amusing from the other times that We did nothing at all. Hmm, nothing in that class to do, but It really Isn't a class at all, just some stupid thing they have you go in for like Colleges and setting you up for one. It's like 45 minutes or so long. It isn't real bad, plus it beats doing alot of work and I could call it my "Break class"
The bell rang for the real second period to go to. IPC. This is my worst and I don't know why, its so easy yes I have a 79 in that class. The teacher is really retarded or somthing, somthing is wrong with her. My friend turned his paper in for corrections which had a 90 on it, and when he got it back, it had a 65 on it. Its really kinda weird if you ask me. Hmmm, in that class we didn't do much just simple work from worksheets. I was one of the first to finish everything in that class. Just easy normal stuff to work on I guess. We had like 30 minutes extra time to just sit and talk, realy boring so I kinda fell asleep in it. Mmmmm sleep, how I miss you.
The bell rang for the next class which was Animation, This class I can tell from right now, Is going to get a little harder over the next couple of weeks, or months or whatever. We had to do these modeling problems, like a Pencil and things like that. I didn't do any of those and just fooled around in that class, it's no point in that class when the teacher doesn't know any of 3ds max. Its quite funny because he just sits there, looking at us. Soo that's basically third period. the bell rang for lunch.
For lunch, I ate today so yay! Thats about it.
Fourth period came into play, well just to summorize it, Notes, go over homework, get more homework. Thats about it for the whole day and what happend at schooool.
Stupid bus, so crowded. I hate it arghhh.
Well thats it now! Finally, my hand cramps for when I go to sleep, so yay! or somthing.
Cya!
Well, with that out of the way, let's just get on with most of what I said earlier. Today is probably the begining of whats to come to the next few days, or even weeks for that matter. I'll just say it into simple terms. I'm depressed. It's a kind of depression I have never felt before though, it's real weird, I can't really explain what it is, but its one of those "Depression on and off" things. I don't know really how to explain that, but thats how I felt today in the morning. Mostly through the day It was okay, and I felt normal. First let's get one thing out of the way before I really begin. There are times when I feel that I'm real annoying or maybe just a little, but I know I'm annoying. People say things like "How can you tell if your annoying, its like, impossible" Well.. I have my own way of telling this, for example, say you really really like this person and you can't get him/her out of your mind. You would always want to be with that person all the time, right? Then you might go a little too far, and this thought comes into your head "Well, wait a minute, this is too much.. I know i'm beng a little annoying" and you start to let that person breath some air and you back off. This is how I feel exactly with myself. In that one example replace "A person you really like" with "Friends that you hang out with all the time" and you will have what I feel. I know I'm annoying, I just know the feeling. People tell me that I'm not, but they just act like it and don't really feel that, It's just to get you happy and move on, and get out of their way. Now, this doesn't apply to all the friends I have. Most of them right now, are pretty cool about things. Some of the friends I don't really know, well, just don't care about it. There are three types of friends I have right now. The ones that most care about everything about you, they stand by you and help you trough the things that most affect you. You really care about them the most, don't loose them! Next that comes in line, is the simple friend. They might car about you a little, or just could help you in the simple things you do, like homework for instance, or study for a test, that kind of stuff. They hang out with you and just talk about things, funny, sad, what happend today. those are good friends yes, but don't really trust them alot. Maybe you can trust them with borrowing somthing, but dont trust them like you would trust your family. Soo, next comes the "not really" important friend of yours. Maybe he would come and talk to you for a little while but thats about much it. He see's you in the hallway and waves, says whats going on and continues on. You might bearly just know his name, if all at anything. These three types are what I have in this life.
Hmmm, I'm just going to say this, what I had in my last writing before the internet spazzed out on me. This goes to all my close friends, my best friends that I would never get anywhere else. Wouldn't change them one bit, they are the best when It comes to speaking your feeling to them, you can say anything to them and they would talk to you. This is what I need most of all, right now. I can't think of any other people to talk to when It comes down to speaking my most true feelings to them. Right now, the most understanding person that I could say whatever I wanted, whatever Is on my mind would be Melissa Smith. All this time, I could speak to her about things I wouldn't anyone else. This is not anout relationships or anything like confedence. No, this is me speaking out what I feel about anything. How depressed I am, and etc. She is one of the best friends I have right now. She doesn't have anything negative to say ever, and she is humorous when it comes to it. She really makes me happy too whenever she gives advice about things or helps with somthing. The next person that I could say anything to, about my problems, about how I feel would be Andrew.. He has always been there for me when I needed him. He is really cool when it comes to me just talking and hanging out. Whenever I have somthing to say, he understands it and also gives some advice about the thing I'm having a problem with. Whenever you need him, he is just there for you. The next person that would be like the ones I mentioned above would be Roger. Yes, him. I talked to him some time ago and thats how It all started. We would talk about anything, and everything. Even the most simple thing to talk about. Whenever I would bring up a problem that I have and If im depressed about it then, we would talk about that. He also gives advice, and some good advice. Mostly right now, he has some of the exact same problems I have currently right now. Most of all, he is a really funny guy when it comes to it. Him and andrew are really funny and cool about stuff. Theyre maybe more people along the way to becoming a real good friend I have. I'll maybe edit this later when I am reminded of more people to talk about. These three people those, are currently at the top of the list. They understand me, weither it be through God, weither it be trough Humor, or weither it be through problems I'm having. Theres just one thing I know though.. they are the best friends I have.
Well, since I have some time to spare, I might as well just update more with what happend today and what happend in my classes today. Hmm, today was, as you know, kinda depressing for me. I got up in the morning and, as usuall, got on the bus. Then when I got off the bus, as soon as I got out of the bus, this is when all the depression stuff hit me. I went to where I usally hang out and just sat down next to the wall. I didn't say a word at all, just sat down and listened to the music I had, which was Slipknot. I think the first person to notice that I was depressed, was Melissa Vallery. Then maybe after that would be andrew. Hmmm, The bell rang for first period and that's when everyone was leaving. Melissa came over next to me and Tried to make me smile. Then she got everyone near her to try and make me smile. Ehh, except Jason.. he doesn't care at all.. he just left, oh well. Tina, Andrew, Roger all were trying to make me smile. Well just to let them go, I smiled but Not a real good one, I didn't really mean it. Oh well.
First period began and everyone sat down and did some problems from the book, not that hard. Needed some help from my friends that sit next to me so we all did it as a group kind of thing. After that, that was pretty much it for the whole class, you don't really expect alot from that class I guess. For the rest of the class period, we just talked and hang out and stuff like that, again with me listening to some music while doing so. The bell rang for the Advisory class, which is where you don't do anything at all. Just sit there and that's pretty much it.
I went there and just sat down, I put my music away because I know that teacher would just take it up, and this thing I have is really expensive. I saw Phillip in there, as always. The good part about that was, he sat right infront of me. During the whole class we did this "Simpsons Trivia" thing, It was really great, amusing from the other times that We did nothing at all. Hmm, nothing in that class to do, but It really Isn't a class at all, just some stupid thing they have you go in for like Colleges and setting you up for one. It's like 45 minutes or so long. It isn't real bad, plus it beats doing alot of work and I could call it my "Break class"
The bell rang for the real second period to go to. IPC. This is my worst and I don't know why, its so easy yes I have a 79 in that class. The teacher is really retarded or somthing, somthing is wrong with her. My friend turned his paper in for corrections which had a 90 on it, and when he got it back, it had a 65 on it. Its really kinda weird if you ask me. Hmmm, in that class we didn't do much just simple work from worksheets. I was one of the first to finish everything in that class. Just easy normal stuff to work on I guess. We had like 30 minutes extra time to just sit and talk, realy boring so I kinda fell asleep in it. Mmmmm sleep, how I miss you.
The bell rang for the next class which was Animation, This class I can tell from right now, Is going to get a little harder over the next couple of weeks, or months or whatever. We had to do these modeling problems, like a Pencil and things like that. I didn't do any of those and just fooled around in that class, it's no point in that class when the teacher doesn't know any of 3ds max. Its quite funny because he just sits there, looking at us. Soo that's basically third period. the bell rang for lunch.
For lunch, I ate today so yay! Thats about it.
Fourth period came into play, well just to summorize it, Notes, go over homework, get more homework. Thats about it for the whole day and what happend at schooool.
Stupid bus, so crowded. I hate it arghhh.
Well thats it now! Finally, my hand cramps for when I go to sleep, so yay! or somthing.
Cya!