Damn Health Lab...

[sprinks]

So I'm all fitness obbsessed 'cause I went to my health lab today (and my lower back will be killing me tomorrow...). I dunno, I was thinking about body fat and BMI and whatnot and it was just like... Huh, I'm underweight... this bothers me. I know, why the hell am I complaining in a land where x% of the population is Obese? I hate to say it, but I

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P.S.:

[hewhofightsself]

It is my opinion that BMI is not a very accurate statistic anyway because it doesn't make concessions for body type, gender, size, etc. According to the conventional BMI calculation, Michael Jordan is less than 1 BMI point shy of Obese Type II.

Sure.

So don't feel bad. I'M supposed to be just this side of Obese Type I, but I don't even have an extra chin. Then again, I guess that's what I get for being 6'3". The BMI doesn't account for extenuating circumstances, such as especially dense bones from a high-calcium diet, extra skeletal weight for people 5'9" and taller, individuals with enlarged organs, and muscle mass...just a few among the many things that renders the implications of a low (or high) BMI virtually inert.

Go to Carl's Jr. Grab a BBQ Bacon Six Dollar Burger and eat as much of it as you can before you go to bed on each night before you work out at the Health Lab. Why? The copious quantities of meat and cheese will provide you with enough protein to glean some gains in overall muscle mass, and the fat will enter your system. When you work out, DON'T do cardio like running and biking because these burn the most fat and extra calories. Lift weights instead to give your muscles a reason to metabolize all the protein from this humongous burger. People won't laugh at you for using little weights because you're a little guy. It's cool. I'm a monster and I use the smaller weights because big weights just make you swell up too fast for your bones to handle. And your bones won't be able to handle too much if you're drinking Monsters and Rockstars and Lost all the damn time. Viv broke a grip of bones at boot camp because she bulked up too fast for her bones to handle. Don't repeat her mistake.

Repeat this process for about six weeks. Your metabolism will slow down *just enough* and you'll bulk up to the point where you're not fat, but you'll have just the littlest amount of excess, not to mention somewhat bigger muscles and a great deal more strength.

Take care, dude.