(no subject)
The confusion is overwhelming. I wish things were easy. I just wish I knew. Or I wish that I could be satisfied with the right choice. I know it is, but why do I always question it? Why is it that I am reminded of the what ifs when I see his name or when I think of long term? Sometimes I wish I was alone just so that this would all sink in. This is really retarded. Whatever happens happens. To other things I am so ready to get out of Korea. I am suppose to get back on the Jul6-10 time frame but I am kind of hopeing that it is later so that I can see Shari one more time. I know when she gets back to the states it would be easier to go visit her. I am quite nervous of going to Ft. Drum. I would have rather gone to Ft. Bragg but I didn't do much to get it and when I did try it was pointless. Well I have 2 more years left in the service. I can't wait till 2007. I will be a civilian again. I will be able to do whatever I want with my hair, nails, cloth, pierce my nose if I want. Go where ever I want when ever I want oh and the best part not having to deal with bull shit. Don't get me wrong serving my country is been great. But at what cost. I mean there is so many people that don't have to deal with the crap. I know I volunteered and that is the beauty of this country is that you choose to do what you want. YOu are not forced to do anything. But my expectations of the military where not met. Maybe it is this place or the great transition that the Army is going through because of this war. This war that seems to have no ending. This war that I don't want part in. But from the looks of where I will be stationed I will probably end up going. But who knows it is all up in the air. I don't make any sense I've been up since 04:30. I need sleep