If humans are machines than I have a virus
I feel very lost at this moment. I'm such a jerk, I can't even rationalize it, I don't know what the deal is. I see myself a very unappreciative right now, and very irrational in this bad way, and I have to make it stop right now before I completely ruin everything and become a completely unvaluable human being, no longer able to function properly and very useless altogether. I need more control over myself because I don't feel like myself at all. But thats ending. I don't know why I'm even saying all this.
I mostly came back to make some cds so I could go paint in the studio with some new unscathed discs.
This is going to be one long weekend and maybe for the benefit of everyone I'll just chill and have some alone time bc I have such a conflict with myself at this moment that perhaps needs to be sorted out first.
Critique didn't go too badly today, which is relieving, and to knock the stress level down I've decided to enter an entirely different piece into the student show because my painting just isn't drying at all. It's in this limbo stage, which seems pretty current with my mindset.
Maybe I need to eat better, maybe it's my birth control pills, maybe I'm just so...I'm sure I'll figure it out.
Just a rant...
I did notice today a mannerism that Nick dislikes in my way of speech is that I turn many sentences into questions and I noticed today that Laura and Chelsea do the same thing and I think it's quite interesting. Perhaps we don't notice. I currently think of the whole matter as a characteristic of painter types- very inquiring.
I just don't want to lose everything.
I mostly came back to make some cds so I could go paint in the studio with some new unscathed discs.
This is going to be one long weekend and maybe for the benefit of everyone I'll just chill and have some alone time bc I have such a conflict with myself at this moment that perhaps needs to be sorted out first.
Critique didn't go too badly today, which is relieving, and to knock the stress level down I've decided to enter an entirely different piece into the student show because my painting just isn't drying at all. It's in this limbo stage, which seems pretty current with my mindset.
Maybe I need to eat better, maybe it's my birth control pills, maybe I'm just so...I'm sure I'll figure it out.
Just a rant...
I did notice today a mannerism that Nick dislikes in my way of speech is that I turn many sentences into questions and I noticed today that Laura and Chelsea do the same thing and I think it's quite interesting. Perhaps we don't notice. I currently think of the whole matter as a characteristic of painter types- very inquiring.
I just don't want to lose everything.