karma
for some reason i've upset the balance of the universe for my karma is horrible and i'm on the receiving end of everything that is bad and hurtful...
i don't know what i did to deserve this but it must've been a doozy...
it's 1 am and i'm trying to study for a test on thurs and i can't sleep b/c i was an idiot and drank a latte and 2 i keep thinking about my situation with lee and how to remedy it an as to how to not scathe myself in the process.
school is bugging me, i wish it were over yet i don't want to leave the comfort and stability of this place that has become my home. they really don't prepare u for the real world it feels like i'm going to be thrown right into the seas of adulthood w/o a life preserver... sink or swim
still up in the air about what to do with my life... the thought of living abroad for a year teaching excites me and scares me. i want to do it b/c i've never done anything like this in my life ever before it also scares me b/c if i leave will i leave behind something that could be loss if i leave? do i want to pursue something in the my chosen field? i wish i had the finances and motivation to be a permanent travelor and i wish i had somene there to share the experience with me, what is the point of seeing something wonderful w/o someone to take in the moment with you... who will u talk to that will know what u mean if you're by urself...
cliches are so right but i guess that's how they become cliches b/c they happen more often than not. u never know what you've lost till it's gone... so why do they say if it comes back it's meant to be urs...but they also say don't wait around b/c life will pass you by and to take life by the horns... how can u do that when ur supposed to wait to see if it comes back???
school sucks, boys suck, life is boring right now... nothing interesting..no one intersting
the bar i've set for guys are too high and i'm afraid no one will ever be able to meet it and i'm not willing to lower it b/c then i feel as if i'm cheating myself out of something that i deserve. i want the simple life back...back when all i have to worry about is a test and making it to an event on time...
i want my summer after freshman year... that was honestly the best summer of my life... free as a bird, living the life with someone i love and doing what we wanted to do when we wanted to do it and not having to worry about what was to come except when we could see eachother again. i want it back and i know it's never going to be like that. life changes, ppl changed, feelings are too hard and life is too bumpy...
i think if i had a choice i'd go back to senior year of highschool... honestly probably the most carefree time while not being so naiive as being in middle school.... but naiive enough to be happy
is it wrong to want to live at home and let my parents take care of me so i don't have to become and adult? sounds pathetic... but at this point i don't care. i want to sleep all day, party at night and do it again till i can't do it anymore then maybe, just maybe i'll be ready to grow up and take on the responsibilities that are being thrown at me with both hands with amazing speed
i want to be something i'm not and everything that i am
fuck the life that holds me to these standards that i can not live up to, the standards i set upon myself and the life my parents want for me, that i can not possibly achieve and that i am destined to fail
maybe i can become a country singer.... haha an asian country singer... that's a new one
i don't know what i did to deserve this but it must've been a doozy...
it's 1 am and i'm trying to study for a test on thurs and i can't sleep b/c i was an idiot and drank a latte and 2 i keep thinking about my situation with lee and how to remedy it an as to how to not scathe myself in the process.
school is bugging me, i wish it were over yet i don't want to leave the comfort and stability of this place that has become my home. they really don't prepare u for the real world it feels like i'm going to be thrown right into the seas of adulthood w/o a life preserver... sink or swim
still up in the air about what to do with my life... the thought of living abroad for a year teaching excites me and scares me. i want to do it b/c i've never done anything like this in my life ever before it also scares me b/c if i leave will i leave behind something that could be loss if i leave? do i want to pursue something in the my chosen field? i wish i had the finances and motivation to be a permanent travelor and i wish i had somene there to share the experience with me, what is the point of seeing something wonderful w/o someone to take in the moment with you... who will u talk to that will know what u mean if you're by urself...
cliches are so right but i guess that's how they become cliches b/c they happen more often than not. u never know what you've lost till it's gone... so why do they say if it comes back it's meant to be urs...but they also say don't wait around b/c life will pass you by and to take life by the horns... how can u do that when ur supposed to wait to see if it comes back???
school sucks, boys suck, life is boring right now... nothing interesting..no one intersting
the bar i've set for guys are too high and i'm afraid no one will ever be able to meet it and i'm not willing to lower it b/c then i feel as if i'm cheating myself out of something that i deserve. i want the simple life back...back when all i have to worry about is a test and making it to an event on time...
i want my summer after freshman year... that was honestly the best summer of my life... free as a bird, living the life with someone i love and doing what we wanted to do when we wanted to do it and not having to worry about what was to come except when we could see eachother again. i want it back and i know it's never going to be like that. life changes, ppl changed, feelings are too hard and life is too bumpy...
i think if i had a choice i'd go back to senior year of highschool... honestly probably the most carefree time while not being so naiive as being in middle school.... but naiive enough to be happy
is it wrong to want to live at home and let my parents take care of me so i don't have to become and adult? sounds pathetic... but at this point i don't care. i want to sleep all day, party at night and do it again till i can't do it anymore then maybe, just maybe i'll be ready to grow up and take on the responsibilities that are being thrown at me with both hands with amazing speed
i want to be something i'm not and everything that i am
fuck the life that holds me to these standards that i can not live up to, the standards i set upon myself and the life my parents want for me, that i can not possibly achieve and that i am destined to fail
maybe i can become a country singer.... haha an asian country singer... that's a new one