Three in the Bed [Bleach, Ichigo/Renji/Rukia, R]
Title: Three in the bed
Author: shimyaku
Rating: R
Warnings: Crack!, language, oral sex -nothing explicit
Word count: ~2360
Prompt: Bleach, ichigo/rukia/renji: unconventional, "they had their own brand of affection"
A/N: Late late late, and a shoddy ending. XD
Rukia couldn't have felt more at home than she was right then, with her legs wrapped tightly around Ichigo's waist, and her arms slung around his broad shoulders. Or at least, that's what she supposed, until a certain freshly-showered redhead sauntered up from behind her, sliding his arms around her waist and daringly pressing a certain hardness against her backside. Her resulting moan was barely more than a whisper, her cheeks instantly flushing pink - the fact that Ichigo had his fingertips digging into her upper thighs, and that there was a decidedly unmade bed barely a metre away, didn't help her mental images in the slightest.
A sudden roll of the hips from the front, coupled with Renji's still-damp skin clinging to her back, jolted her from her dreamy reverie, reminding her of the time - she should have been heading out the door already! But without warning the man behind her joined in with the hip-rolling, awakening that warm tingle she often got in her stomach, drawing another moan from her lips... Oh, this was just terrible! She couldn't get distracted now, she was meant to be getting ready for the day's work - they all were - and she really didn't have time for this!
"Spanky... what do you think you're doing?" Rukia levelled her best semi-aroused death glare straight at the Sixth-Division Lieutenant.
Renji pouted. "Hey, Chokeadick here was getting a cuddle, why can't I?"
"Strangely enough he has a little more self control when it comes to his hands, that's why." The girl did her best to ignore the heat still gathered in her loins. "Now move along."
Ichigo smirked at him from over Rukia's shoulder. "Yeah. And lay off with the nicknames, Spanky."
"You first, tomato-head!"
"Look who's talking!"
"OI!"
Both males were silenced abruptly and turned to look at the petite, black-haired girl wedged between their bodies, one of her hands raised and on the verge of shaking a very irritated finger at them. Again the two glanced at each other, but this time a certain knowing look was shared between them, and the next thing Rukia knew she had been flung onto the mussed-up bed at her side, her limbs suddenly pinned to the mattress.
"We're going to... nghh... gonna be late," Rukia groaned out, unable to help her reaction when there was suddenly a hand between her legs, and a pair of lips on her neck.
"It'll be worth it, Toss," the Sixth Division Shinigami murmured as he tugged her underwear down her legs, his words muffled as he pressed his mouth against her thigh. "Just wait and see."
Ichigo hummed in agreement as he kept on with his own attentions of Rukia's neck, running his mouth and tongue along the edge of her jaw. His hands moved of their own volition, smoothing over her stomach and sides, all the way up to her chest where they lingered. Hearing the sudden hitching of her breath he parted his lips from her skin, turning his head to one side just in time to see Renji duck between Rukia's legs.
Rukia responded immediately, writhing fitfully against the redhead's touches, her back arching up as he did something clever with his tongue. Ichigo continued to watch with intent as Renji carried on with his oral ministrations, soothingly running his hands over the girl's too-warm skin, and pecking at her neck and shoulders whenever he took a moment to look away from what was going on 'down below'.
Rearranging his position on the bed, Renji moved more comfortably back between Rukia's legs, now able to bring his hands into the mix as well. And he had barely pressed his lips back to her heat when she suddenly cried out, her hips jerking and her thighs suddenly clamping together, crushing Renji's head between them as she shouted with her release.
"Rukia!" The redhead cried from his most awkward position, his arms floundering as he tried to pry himself away from his 'prison'. "Lemme go... yo-- your chokin' me! Ayy!"
Watching on with some weirded-out mix of amusement and arousal, Ichigo wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry - Renji's comical flailing completely ruining the beautiful sight that was Rukia in the throes of orgasm. But laughter won out shortly after, and the substitute Shinigami clutched at his stomach as he let go his humour without restraint.
"Oh, Renji! I'm sorry!" Rukia tried push herself upright, but ended up flat on her back again when her body protested the exertion. "I didn't even realise! Oh my God are you okay?!"
"Yeah, well, see if I ever do that again for ya!" Grumbling under his breath, Renji finally managed to peel Rukia away from his head, practically throwing her boneless limbs back to the mattress with a huff. "We didn't name ya Thigh's o' Steel for nothin'! Ya gotta be more careful where ya put those things!"
Ichigo howled with laughter, completely ignoring the redhead's plight even as he continued to cough and splutter with each breath. "You were right, Spanky," he gasped out, "that was sooo worth it!"
~
Renji wasn't usually required to stop by the Kuchiki residence on standard work matters, but today just happened to be the one day of the week where Byakuya entertained his sister for lunch. It had become a set routine of late, that Rukia would return home on a Thursday to share a bite to eat with the Sixth Division Captain, and at any other time Renji would have gladly left them alone, the gods knew what Rukia would say to embarrass him - and she would think of something, she always did - but Unohana-taichou had taken him by the scruff of the neck and ordered him to pass some report to his Captain, and there was no way he was going to delay that. Unohana was goddamn terrifying.
"Ah, Taichou!" The redhead excused his intrusion as he shuffled his way onto the patio where Byakuya and Rukia sat side by side. "Sorry to bother, but Unohana-taichou sends this report for your attention!"
Rukia clicked her tongue, smirking at him. "Jeez, so bothersome Renji..."
"It's not a bother Abarai," the Captain interjected, "We were just finishing up, weren't we Rukia? And I've been waiting on this report."
The Nobleman rose to his feet, reaching out to help his sister do the same, and turning to Renji to receive the papers.
"Mm, why don't you run along Rukia? Ukitake-taichou will be waiting."
"Of course, Nii-sama." The girl bowed her head, before turning to Renji. "I'll be seeing you later then, Spanky!"
And with a swift turn on her heel, Rukia headed determinedly for the door, delivering the Sixth Division Lieutenant a hefty slap to his backside on her way.
The Kuchiki heir cleared his throat as he looked at Renji pointedly, one eyebrow raised, the unsteady quirk of his lips and the tears in his eyes suggesting he was holding back a rather large bout of laughter. "Spanky, Renji...?"
"You really don't wanna know, Taichou." Renji grumbled as he tried to look anywhere but at his Captain, his own face getting redder by the second. That girly better watch out when he saw her later, she was so gonna get it.
~
"Toss!" Renji growled into the Thirteenth Division conference room, glaring heatedly at Rukia as she slipped in through the side door, Ichigo at her back. He'd clocked off early from work so he could pounce on Rukia while she was still on duty - maybe even catch her with Ukitake still watching, get her back with a taste of her own medicine. "You are sooo gonna get it, girly!"
The girl threw her head back and roared with laughter. "It was worth it just for the look on your face! Even Nii-sama was laughing!"
"I'm pretty sure I missed something here... so who's gonna spill?" Ichigo eyed them both, waiting to see who would relent first. Not surprisingly it was Rukia.
"On my way back from lunch with Nii-sama I called him Spanky. And Nii-sama nearly lost it!"
"Hah! And I bet you went redder than tomato sauce, eh Spanky?" The strawberry smirked at him.
"Shut yer face, Chokeadick! Just wait 'til I get my mitts on ya!"
"Aw yeah, and whatcha gonna do? Amuse me to death?"
"Right! That's it, fucker! C'mere!"
From outside the room the Captains of the Thirteenth and Eighth Divisions turned to look at one another, shrugging their shoulders in confusion. Whoever was causing such a ruckus in the conference room was certainly keen to let everyone know about it. Shaking his head, the larger of the two men sashayed towards the nearest door, sliding it open dramatically so they could both enter and make their presence known.
"Why, look at that Ukitake! I do believe we've walked in at a rather opportune moment." Kyouraku's voice rang out clearly through the conference room as he and the Thirteenth Division Captain made their entrance. His gaze wandered humouredly over to the three younger Shinigami, stopping where Ichigo had his hands wrapped firmly around Renji's throat. "Say, is that why he calls you Chokeadick, Ichi? You seem to be doing a rather good job, I must say."
"Nahh," Renji spluttered as he gasped for breath, ignoring Kyouraku's jab, "I call him that 'cause his mouth has mad skills wh--mngh--" The redhead suddenly found the other boy's hands to be wrapped over his mouth rather than around his throat.
"You spill another word about my 'amazing talents' and you'll get a fist to your face and maybe your ass, too - if you should be so lucky."
"Aww, Choke, you say that like it's a punishment!" Renji shouldered his way out of Ichigo's hold, pouting all the way. "Just because you don't want the world to know you have no gag relfex!"
The substitute Shinigami whirled around to slam his friend's head with his elbow. "Shut it, Spanky! You Traitor!"
Turning away from the boys' spectacle - highly amusing though it was - Ukitake moved to Rukia's side, leaning toward her with his usual good-natured expression.
"Rukia, I have to say, it's really so sweet that you three have little nicknames for one another."
The girl grimaced. "I wouldn't have called it sweet, but thank you anyway, Taichou."
"No? Ah, pity. But they call you... 'Toss' isn't it? There's some significance to that, surely?"
"You betcha!" Kurosaki suddenly piped in, ignoring the dark-haired girl's stinging gaze that just happened to be aimed right at him. "Short for Thighs of Steel--"
"And man, I tell ya, them legs are like a vise!" Renji's eyes were wide with sincerity as he dropped the admission, sharing a sympathetic look with the strawberry blonde at his side. The two stared silently at each other for a prolonged moment before suddenly jerking free of their reverie, as if they'd just remembered why they were there. And not another moment passed before they were both at each other's throats again, curses and insults flying left, right and centre.
Rukia sighed as she looked on. "I do hope they grow up one day."
"I'm sure you'll have a hand in that, will you not?" The silver-haired captain glanced over at Rukia, before turning back to the boys in question. "You're the woman in the relationship after all, you should be taking to them with a firm hand - although you probably do already, am I right?"
The girl quirked an eyebrow in confusion, only slightly taken aback by her Captain's subtle laughter which he quickly his behind his hand. "I'm... not completely sure I follow, Ukitake-taicho."
"Ah, well... I'm only suggesting that maybe a bit of discipline by your hand wouldn't go astray? Perhaps... a little whipping time... in the bedroom?"
"Ukitake-taichou! Why would you suggest such a lude thing?! What makes you think the three of us are even--"
"Oh, come now!" The silver-haired captain chuckled, his cheeks pinked with embarrassment. "Nearly the whole of Soul Society knows about your little triangle!"
Rukia gaped, her arms flailing wildly as she spoke. "They do?! How? Why hasn't anyone said anything?!"
"Really, Rukia." Kyouraku stepped up to Rukia's other side with a great swish of his pink haori. "Between your brother being your brother, Renji being a Lieutenant, and Ichigo being, well, the anomaly he is, do you think anyone would be game to say anything? I mean, some think it's scandalous... some are disgusted of course, but then the rest of us are simply utterly intrigued!"
Ukitake nodded. "Quite right. It's not exactly the most common of relationships is it...? Though I suppose you three aren't exactly the most common of people, are you?"
"See, it does makes sense if you think about it, Ukitake!"
Ukitake directed a hard look at the other Captain. "I never said it didn't."
"Of course not." Kyouraku looked back over to the trio in question. "They certainly have an interesting way of showing their affections, though."
"I suggest that we probably wouldn't understand it, even if we tried. Kids these days are so much more complex and confusing than we ever were."
~
Ichigo pulled his head back from his position between Renji's legs, licking his lips as he sat back on his heels.
"So, we don't make sense, huh?"
"Who says we have to?" Renji rolled over onto his stomach, his chest still heaving as he tried to catch his breath.
"No one... But if people are talking, don't you think we should give them something to actually talk about?"
"Ooh, so naughty..."
Rukia cleared her throat as she stepped up to the bed, her body bared and a leather strap in her hand. "I hope you weren't intending to decide things without first consenting me?"
"We wouldn't dream of it!" Ichigo gaped mockingly as he suddenly straddled Renji's thigh, sensually rubbing himself against the older man's toned skin. "So do tell then, Toss, whatever do you have in mind?"
The girl gave an almost devil-like grin, running the leather belt through her fingers. "Renji's Lieutenant's office is going to get thoroughly 'christened', let's put it that way... And everyone in the Gotei 13 is gonna know about it."
Both boys moaned aloud as the girl snapped the strap in her hand. "We knew we kept you around for a reason."
Author: shimyaku
Rating: R
Warnings: Crack!, language, oral sex -nothing explicit
Word count: ~2360
Prompt: Bleach, ichigo/rukia/renji: unconventional, "they had their own brand of affection"
A/N: Late late late, and a shoddy ending. XD
Rukia couldn't have felt more at home than she was right then, with her legs wrapped tightly around Ichigo's waist, and her arms slung around his broad shoulders. Or at least, that's what she supposed, until a certain freshly-showered redhead sauntered up from behind her, sliding his arms around her waist and daringly pressing a certain hardness against her backside. Her resulting moan was barely more than a whisper, her cheeks instantly flushing pink - the fact that Ichigo had his fingertips digging into her upper thighs, and that there was a decidedly unmade bed barely a metre away, didn't help her mental images in the slightest.
A sudden roll of the hips from the front, coupled with Renji's still-damp skin clinging to her back, jolted her from her dreamy reverie, reminding her of the time - she should have been heading out the door already! But without warning the man behind her joined in with the hip-rolling, awakening that warm tingle she often got in her stomach, drawing another moan from her lips... Oh, this was just terrible! She couldn't get distracted now, she was meant to be getting ready for the day's work - they all were - and she really didn't have time for this!
"Spanky... what do you think you're doing?" Rukia levelled her best semi-aroused death glare straight at the Sixth-Division Lieutenant.
Renji pouted. "Hey, Chokeadick here was getting a cuddle, why can't I?"
"Strangely enough he has a little more self control when it comes to his hands, that's why." The girl did her best to ignore the heat still gathered in her loins. "Now move along."
Ichigo smirked at him from over Rukia's shoulder. "Yeah. And lay off with the nicknames, Spanky."
"You first, tomato-head!"
"Look who's talking!"
"OI!"
Both males were silenced abruptly and turned to look at the petite, black-haired girl wedged between their bodies, one of her hands raised and on the verge of shaking a very irritated finger at them. Again the two glanced at each other, but this time a certain knowing look was shared between them, and the next thing Rukia knew she had been flung onto the mussed-up bed at her side, her limbs suddenly pinned to the mattress.
"We're going to... nghh... gonna be late," Rukia groaned out, unable to help her reaction when there was suddenly a hand between her legs, and a pair of lips on her neck.
"It'll be worth it, Toss," the Sixth Division Shinigami murmured as he tugged her underwear down her legs, his words muffled as he pressed his mouth against her thigh. "Just wait and see."
Ichigo hummed in agreement as he kept on with his own attentions of Rukia's neck, running his mouth and tongue along the edge of her jaw. His hands moved of their own volition, smoothing over her stomach and sides, all the way up to her chest where they lingered. Hearing the sudden hitching of her breath he parted his lips from her skin, turning his head to one side just in time to see Renji duck between Rukia's legs.
Rukia responded immediately, writhing fitfully against the redhead's touches, her back arching up as he did something clever with his tongue. Ichigo continued to watch with intent as Renji carried on with his oral ministrations, soothingly running his hands over the girl's too-warm skin, and pecking at her neck and shoulders whenever he took a moment to look away from what was going on 'down below'.
Rearranging his position on the bed, Renji moved more comfortably back between Rukia's legs, now able to bring his hands into the mix as well. And he had barely pressed his lips back to her heat when she suddenly cried out, her hips jerking and her thighs suddenly clamping together, crushing Renji's head between them as she shouted with her release.
"Rukia!" The redhead cried from his most awkward position, his arms floundering as he tried to pry himself away from his 'prison'. "Lemme go... yo-- your chokin' me! Ayy!"
Watching on with some weirded-out mix of amusement and arousal, Ichigo wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry - Renji's comical flailing completely ruining the beautiful sight that was Rukia in the throes of orgasm. But laughter won out shortly after, and the substitute Shinigami clutched at his stomach as he let go his humour without restraint.
"Oh, Renji! I'm sorry!" Rukia tried push herself upright, but ended up flat on her back again when her body protested the exertion. "I didn't even realise! Oh my God are you okay?!"
"Yeah, well, see if I ever do that again for ya!" Grumbling under his breath, Renji finally managed to peel Rukia away from his head, practically throwing her boneless limbs back to the mattress with a huff. "We didn't name ya Thigh's o' Steel for nothin'! Ya gotta be more careful where ya put those things!"
Ichigo howled with laughter, completely ignoring the redhead's plight even as he continued to cough and splutter with each breath. "You were right, Spanky," he gasped out, "that was sooo worth it!"
~
Renji wasn't usually required to stop by the Kuchiki residence on standard work matters, but today just happened to be the one day of the week where Byakuya entertained his sister for lunch. It had become a set routine of late, that Rukia would return home on a Thursday to share a bite to eat with the Sixth Division Captain, and at any other time Renji would have gladly left them alone, the gods knew what Rukia would say to embarrass him - and she would think of something, she always did - but Unohana-taichou had taken him by the scruff of the neck and ordered him to pass some report to his Captain, and there was no way he was going to delay that. Unohana was goddamn terrifying.
"Ah, Taichou!" The redhead excused his intrusion as he shuffled his way onto the patio where Byakuya and Rukia sat side by side. "Sorry to bother, but Unohana-taichou sends this report for your attention!"
Rukia clicked her tongue, smirking at him. "Jeez, so bothersome Renji..."
"It's not a bother Abarai," the Captain interjected, "We were just finishing up, weren't we Rukia? And I've been waiting on this report."
The Nobleman rose to his feet, reaching out to help his sister do the same, and turning to Renji to receive the papers.
"Mm, why don't you run along Rukia? Ukitake-taichou will be waiting."
"Of course, Nii-sama." The girl bowed her head, before turning to Renji. "I'll be seeing you later then, Spanky!"
And with a swift turn on her heel, Rukia headed determinedly for the door, delivering the Sixth Division Lieutenant a hefty slap to his backside on her way.
The Kuchiki heir cleared his throat as he looked at Renji pointedly, one eyebrow raised, the unsteady quirk of his lips and the tears in his eyes suggesting he was holding back a rather large bout of laughter. "Spanky, Renji...?"
"You really don't wanna know, Taichou." Renji grumbled as he tried to look anywhere but at his Captain, his own face getting redder by the second. That girly better watch out when he saw her later, she was so gonna get it.
~
"Toss!" Renji growled into the Thirteenth Division conference room, glaring heatedly at Rukia as she slipped in through the side door, Ichigo at her back. He'd clocked off early from work so he could pounce on Rukia while she was still on duty - maybe even catch her with Ukitake still watching, get her back with a taste of her own medicine. "You are sooo gonna get it, girly!"
The girl threw her head back and roared with laughter. "It was worth it just for the look on your face! Even Nii-sama was laughing!"
"I'm pretty sure I missed something here... so who's gonna spill?" Ichigo eyed them both, waiting to see who would relent first. Not surprisingly it was Rukia.
"On my way back from lunch with Nii-sama I called him Spanky. And Nii-sama nearly lost it!"
"Hah! And I bet you went redder than tomato sauce, eh Spanky?" The strawberry smirked at him.
"Shut yer face, Chokeadick! Just wait 'til I get my mitts on ya!"
"Aw yeah, and whatcha gonna do? Amuse me to death?"
"Right! That's it, fucker! C'mere!"
From outside the room the Captains of the Thirteenth and Eighth Divisions turned to look at one another, shrugging their shoulders in confusion. Whoever was causing such a ruckus in the conference room was certainly keen to let everyone know about it. Shaking his head, the larger of the two men sashayed towards the nearest door, sliding it open dramatically so they could both enter and make their presence known.
"Why, look at that Ukitake! I do believe we've walked in at a rather opportune moment." Kyouraku's voice rang out clearly through the conference room as he and the Thirteenth Division Captain made their entrance. His gaze wandered humouredly over to the three younger Shinigami, stopping where Ichigo had his hands wrapped firmly around Renji's throat. "Say, is that why he calls you Chokeadick, Ichi? You seem to be doing a rather good job, I must say."
"Nahh," Renji spluttered as he gasped for breath, ignoring Kyouraku's jab, "I call him that 'cause his mouth has mad skills wh--mngh--" The redhead suddenly found the other boy's hands to be wrapped over his mouth rather than around his throat.
"You spill another word about my 'amazing talents' and you'll get a fist to your face and maybe your ass, too - if you should be so lucky."
"Aww, Choke, you say that like it's a punishment!" Renji shouldered his way out of Ichigo's hold, pouting all the way. "Just because you don't want the world to know you have no gag relfex!"
The substitute Shinigami whirled around to slam his friend's head with his elbow. "Shut it, Spanky! You Traitor!"
Turning away from the boys' spectacle - highly amusing though it was - Ukitake moved to Rukia's side, leaning toward her with his usual good-natured expression.
"Rukia, I have to say, it's really so sweet that you three have little nicknames for one another."
The girl grimaced. "I wouldn't have called it sweet, but thank you anyway, Taichou."
"No? Ah, pity. But they call you... 'Toss' isn't it? There's some significance to that, surely?"
"You betcha!" Kurosaki suddenly piped in, ignoring the dark-haired girl's stinging gaze that just happened to be aimed right at him. "Short for Thighs of Steel--"
"And man, I tell ya, them legs are like a vise!" Renji's eyes were wide with sincerity as he dropped the admission, sharing a sympathetic look with the strawberry blonde at his side. The two stared silently at each other for a prolonged moment before suddenly jerking free of their reverie, as if they'd just remembered why they were there. And not another moment passed before they were both at each other's throats again, curses and insults flying left, right and centre.
Rukia sighed as she looked on. "I do hope they grow up one day."
"I'm sure you'll have a hand in that, will you not?" The silver-haired captain glanced over at Rukia, before turning back to the boys in question. "You're the woman in the relationship after all, you should be taking to them with a firm hand - although you probably do already, am I right?"
The girl quirked an eyebrow in confusion, only slightly taken aback by her Captain's subtle laughter which he quickly his behind his hand. "I'm... not completely sure I follow, Ukitake-taicho."
"Ah, well... I'm only suggesting that maybe a bit of discipline by your hand wouldn't go astray? Perhaps... a little whipping time... in the bedroom?"
"Ukitake-taichou! Why would you suggest such a lude thing?! What makes you think the three of us are even--"
"Oh, come now!" The silver-haired captain chuckled, his cheeks pinked with embarrassment. "Nearly the whole of Soul Society knows about your little triangle!"
Rukia gaped, her arms flailing wildly as she spoke. "They do?! How? Why hasn't anyone said anything?!"
"Really, Rukia." Kyouraku stepped up to Rukia's other side with a great swish of his pink haori. "Between your brother being your brother, Renji being a Lieutenant, and Ichigo being, well, the anomaly he is, do you think anyone would be game to say anything? I mean, some think it's scandalous... some are disgusted of course, but then the rest of us are simply utterly intrigued!"
Ukitake nodded. "Quite right. It's not exactly the most common of relationships is it...? Though I suppose you three aren't exactly the most common of people, are you?"
"See, it does makes sense if you think about it, Ukitake!"
Ukitake directed a hard look at the other Captain. "I never said it didn't."
"Of course not." Kyouraku looked back over to the trio in question. "They certainly have an interesting way of showing their affections, though."
"I suggest that we probably wouldn't understand it, even if we tried. Kids these days are so much more complex and confusing than we ever were."
~
Ichigo pulled his head back from his position between Renji's legs, licking his lips as he sat back on his heels.
"So, we don't make sense, huh?"
"Who says we have to?" Renji rolled over onto his stomach, his chest still heaving as he tried to catch his breath.
"No one... But if people are talking, don't you think we should give them something to actually talk about?"
"Ooh, so naughty..."
Rukia cleared her throat as she stepped up to the bed, her body bared and a leather strap in her hand. "I hope you weren't intending to decide things without first consenting me?"
"We wouldn't dream of it!" Ichigo gaped mockingly as he suddenly straddled Renji's thigh, sensually rubbing himself against the older man's toned skin. "So do tell then, Toss, whatever do you have in mind?"
The girl gave an almost devil-like grin, running the leather belt through her fingers. "Renji's Lieutenant's office is going to get thoroughly 'christened', let's put it that way... And everyone in the Gotei 13 is gonna know about it."
Both boys moaned aloud as the girl snapped the strap in her hand. "We knew we kept you around for a reason."